DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Mark," and I have been together for a year. We met at work, and have dated ever since. Several months ago we were offered a job opportunity in another state. We moved in together and are happy.

My problem is, over the past few months we have been living together, our personal relationship has come to a halt. We still care about each other deeply, but no longer do the things couples do. We don't go out on dates or see the new city we've moved to.

Do you have any advice on how I can get Mark to go out and see the sights without sounding whiny or pushy? -- BALTIMORE AND D.C. BECKON

DEAR BALTIMORE: Tell Mark the two of you appear to have become housebound and you don't think it's healthy -- particularly because Baltimore and Washington, D.C., have many entertainment and cultural opportunities to offer. Then create a "bucket list" and have him choose from the menu of choices that are available. If that doesn't inspire him, ask him to create a list, or start exploring on your own.

If you are successful at getting Mark out of the house, it may liven up your relationship. But if it doesn't, you may have more serious problems to deal with, and a heart-to-heart talk with him about your entire relationship is in order.

DEAR ABBY: My son's birthday was yesterday. I invited him to dinner at a very nice restaurant. When he showed up, he had two other men with him. They didn't offer to pay for their food, so I had to pay for all of us.

My son is 32, and I would like to say something about this to him. Or should I just not invite him to nice dinners out? -- TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF IN SUGARLAND, TEXAS

DEAR TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF: No. Say something to him. And when you do, it should be something like this: "Son, springing unexpected guests on your host is bad manners. You should have asked permission first. I was appalled that your friends didn't offer to share the expense. Please don't do that again because if you do, I'll stop inviting you."

DEAR ABBY: My parents divorced many years ago. Dad started dating and moved in with a woman I'll call Crystal a few months later. They stayed together for several years. I lived with them part-time then, and eventually only occasionally. I don't have a good relationship with my father.

Since then, he and Crystal have broken up and Dad moved away. I never felt particularly close with her, but she calls and emails me incessantly, begging me to spend time together. She even refers to her daughter as my "sister." She never showed much interest in me when we lived together, and I'm confused how to respond. -- BEWILDERED

DEAR BEWILDERED: Crystal may be attempting to maintain a presence in your father's life by continuing a relationship with you. The next time she emails, email her back and point out that your father has moved on with his life, and it is time for her to do the same because you are busy.

A NOTE TO PARENTS OF YOUNG CHILDREN: Tonight is the night when wee witches and goblins collect their loot. Please supervise them so they'll be safe. Happy Halloween, everyone! -- ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I am a fire officer who has seen too many families experience accidental home fires, many with fatal results. It is devastating to find out that a life could have been saved had someone taken the simple precaution of replacing a dead battery in a smoke alarm.

In a recent survey, more than 50 percent of the respondents admitted to removing the batteries in their smoke detector, leaving them inoperable. A working smoke alarm in your home greatly increases your chance of surviving a home fire, but only if it is functional.

Please remind your readers to change the batteries in their smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors when they turn their clocks back to standard time on Nov. 3. On average, home fires kill seven people every day. No one should be injured or lose a life because of a non-working smoke detector.

This is the 26th year the International Association of Fire Chiefs (IAFC) and Energizer have collaborated on the Change Your Clock, Change Your Battery Program. What may seem like a tedious task can be lifesaving. A working smoke alarm can give families precious extra seconds to get out safely. If you help me circulate this important safety reminder, together we can make a difference and save some lives. -- WILLIAM R. METCALF, PRESIDENT, IAFC

DEAR OFFICER METCALF: I hope my readers will take your letter to heart as I have, and buy those replacement batteries today if they haven't already. Yes, I know tomorrow is Halloween -- but as distracting as the holiday may be, your family's safety is more important. If you're buying candy, grab some batteries. On Saturday night you'll be turning your clocks back an hour. Before you do, be sure you insert fresh batteries in your smoke detectors and test the alarms.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 16-year-old girl, and my 45-year-old father acts even more childish than me. He doesn't have a stable job, and he stays out late or never comes home at all.

My father complains that we don't have enough money and says we need to start saving, then he goes and blows his paycheck on booze and his girlfriend. I need a car to get to work, and I'll be going to college in two years. I can't pay for it all myself.

How do I get Dad on the right track? Please help, because I'm tired of worrying about my future and what's left of his. -- HEADING FOR COLLEGE SOON IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR HEADING: I wish I could tell you how to motivate your father to behave more responsibly, but a lesson you should learn early is that you can't change someone else. Your father is a self-centered individual, but only he can change his behavior.

Small college scholarships are offered by some fraternal organizations. I'm glad you wrote, because it's never too early to start exploring what's available. Talk to a counselor at school about what you need to do to earn scholarships. You should also look online or at your local library. You appear to be focused and mature, and with some guidance you can accomplish your goals.

DEAR ABBY: I managed a retail store for 10 years, and I can relate to the shop owner who signed herself "Had It With Overindulged Kids" (June 28). She could turn things around by creating a designated play area and market to the children by taking any opened items and placing them there for a children's testing ground.

I had a "play table" with toys to keep them busy while their moms shopped. I put a gated area around it and a dads' bench in front of it so they could watch the children.

They are your customers. So cater to them and be thankful the parents shop in your store. Learn the children's names and suggest new age-appropriate products. If you don't have the time, hire someone who loves children and has the patience to play with them in a controlled environment. -- JOYCE FROM MICHIGAN

DEAR JOYCE: Thank you for the helpful advice. Customers and retailers alike shared their experiences. Many of them questioned whether the children always misbehaved this badly in public and blamed their behavior on today's parenting skills -- or lack thereof. Here's a sampling:

DEAR ABBY: I shopped at a local store for years, but gave up when the place seemed overrun by unruly children and distracted parents. Out of desperation, I took a job there and vowed to find a way to make the parents rein in their youngsters.

One: I posted a sign that read, "IF YOU BREAK IT, YOU BOUGHT IT." If they refused, I didn't push the issue, but I did gesture upward. They would always look up, and when they did, I'd thank them for smiling at our cameras.

Two: Any child found unaccompanied would be escorted to our customer service area and the parents paged repeatedly until they showed up.

Since I instituted these policies, the condition of the store has improved, the morale of the employees has improved, sales have risen, and old customers who left due to the old circumstances are returning. -- SURVIVOR OF RETAIL HELL

DEAR ABBY: I was in a shop where a sign behind the counter read: "Unattended Children Will Be Sold!" It was enough to get most parents' (and kids') attention while eliciting smiles at the same time. -- NONNA OF FIVE

DEAR ABBY: You mentioned posting a sign at the cash register. No, Abby, it should be at the entrance, so parents see it at the time they walk in.

Or how about a different sign: "Well-Behaved Children Will Win a Prize," then rewarding such children with a small gift? It would be worth the expense of small tokens of appreciation compared to the cost of broken merchandise.

I sympathize with "Had It." Parents often take kids on outings, believing they're spending quality time with them. But I see parents ignore their children and spend their time on electronic gadgets, leaving the unsupervised youngsters to run amok. Too bad for the children. -- GLORIA IN LAFAYETTE, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: I like the sign a friend of mine put up in her store: "Unattended children will be given espresso and a puppy and returned to their parents." -- MARJORY IN BLOWING ROCK, N.C.

DEAR ABBY: I owned a small business with designated play areas for many years. One mom came in repeatedly with her two small sons, who were completely unruly and disruptive. I spoke to her several times, but I was wasting my breath. Here's how I solved the problem:

When Mom checked out, I added the items the terrible twosome destroyed to her bill. When I told her how much she owed, she insisted it must be a mistake. I said, "No mistake; these items belong to your kids." She paid the bill and remained a customer, but the kids were never with her again. -- HAD ENOUGH, GAINESVILLE, FLA.