DEAR ABBY: I am a fire officer who has seen too many families experience accidental home fires, many with fatal results. It is devastating to find out that a life could have been saved had someone taken the simple precaution of replacing a dead battery in a smoke alarm.

In a recent survey, more than 50 percent of the respondents admitted to removing the batteries in their smoke detector, leaving them inoperable. A working smoke alarm in your home greatly increases your chance of surviving a home fire, but only if it is functional.

Please remind your readers to change the batteries in their smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors when they turn their clocks back to standard time on Nov. 3. On average, home fires kill seven people every day. No one should be injured or lose a life because of a non-working smoke detector.

This is the 26th year the International Association of Fire Chiefs (IAFC) and Energizer have collaborated on the Change Your Clock, Change Your Battery Program. What may seem like a tedious task can be lifesaving. A working smoke alarm can give families precious extra seconds to get out safely. If you help me circulate this important safety reminder, together we can make a difference and save some lives. -- WILLIAM R. METCALF, PRESIDENT, IAFC

DEAR OFFICER METCALF: I hope my readers will take your letter to heart as I have, and buy those replacement batteries today if they haven't already. Yes, I know tomorrow is Halloween -- but as distracting as the holiday may be, your family's safety is more important. If you're buying candy, grab some batteries. On Saturday night you'll be turning your clocks back an hour. Before you do, be sure you insert fresh batteries in your smoke detectors and test the alarms.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 16-year-old girl, and my 45-year-old father acts even more childish than me. He doesn't have a stable job, and he stays out late or never comes home at all.

My father complains that we don't have enough money and says we need to start saving, then he goes and blows his paycheck on booze and his girlfriend. I need a car to get to work, and I'll be going to college in two years. I can't pay for it all myself.

How do I get Dad on the right track? Please help, because I'm tired of worrying about my future and what's left of his. -- HEADING FOR COLLEGE SOON IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR HEADING: I wish I could tell you how to motivate your father to behave more responsibly, but a lesson you should learn early is that you can't change someone else. Your father is a self-centered individual, but only he can change his behavior.

Small college scholarships are offered by some fraternal organizations. I'm glad you wrote, because it's never too early to start exploring what's available. Talk to a counselor at school about what you need to do to earn scholarships. You should also look online or at your local library. You appear to be focused and mature, and with some guidance you can accomplish your goals.

DEAR ABBY: I managed a retail store for 10 years, and I can relate to the shop owner who signed herself "Had It With Overindulged Kids" (June 28). She could turn things around by creating a designated play area and market to the children by taking any opened items and placing them there for a children's testing ground.

I had a "play table" with toys to keep them busy while their moms shopped. I put a gated area around it and a dads' bench in front of it so they could watch the children.

They are your customers. So cater to them and be thankful the parents shop in your store. Learn the children's names and suggest new age-appropriate products. If you don't have the time, hire someone who loves children and has the patience to play with them in a controlled environment. -- JOYCE FROM MICHIGAN

DEAR JOYCE: Thank you for the helpful advice. Customers and retailers alike shared their experiences. Many of them questioned whether the children always misbehaved this badly in public and blamed their behavior on today's parenting skills -- or lack thereof. Here's a sampling:

DEAR ABBY: I shopped at a local store for years, but gave up when the place seemed overrun by unruly children and distracted parents. Out of desperation, I took a job there and vowed to find a way to make the parents rein in their youngsters.

One: I posted a sign that read, "IF YOU BREAK IT, YOU BOUGHT IT." If they refused, I didn't push the issue, but I did gesture upward. They would always look up, and when they did, I'd thank them for smiling at our cameras.

Two: Any child found unaccompanied would be escorted to our customer service area and the parents paged repeatedly until they showed up.

Since I instituted these policies, the condition of the store has improved, the morale of the employees has improved, sales have risen, and old customers who left due to the old circumstances are returning. -- SURVIVOR OF RETAIL HELL

DEAR ABBY: I was in a shop where a sign behind the counter read: "Unattended Children Will Be Sold!" It was enough to get most parents' (and kids') attention while eliciting smiles at the same time. -- NONNA OF FIVE

DEAR ABBY: You mentioned posting a sign at the cash register. No, Abby, it should be at the entrance, so parents see it at the time they walk in.

Or how about a different sign: "Well-Behaved Children Will Win a Prize," then rewarding such children with a small gift? It would be worth the expense of small tokens of appreciation compared to the cost of broken merchandise.

I sympathize with "Had It." Parents often take kids on outings, believing they're spending quality time with them. But I see parents ignore their children and spend their time on electronic gadgets, leaving the unsupervised youngsters to run amok. Too bad for the children. -- GLORIA IN LAFAYETTE, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: I like the sign a friend of mine put up in her store: "Unattended children will be given espresso and a puppy and returned to their parents." -- MARJORY IN BLOWING ROCK, N.C.

DEAR ABBY: I owned a small business with designated play areas for many years. One mom came in repeatedly with her two small sons, who were completely unruly and disruptive. I spoke to her several times, but I was wasting my breath. Here's how I solved the problem:

When Mom checked out, I added the items the terrible twosome destroyed to her bill. When I told her how much she owed, she insisted it must be a mistake. I said, "No mistake; these items belong to your kids." She paid the bill and remained a customer, but the kids were never with her again. -- HAD ENOUGH, GAINESVILLE, FLA.

DEAR ABBY: I am divorced, successful, and the father of two teenage girls. I have been seeing my girlfriend, "Stella," for a year and a half. She also has two teenage daughters. When we met, Stella's divorce was becoming final, and her house was near the tail end of a foreclosure. The sheriff removed her from her home a few months later.

I bought a couple of condos and let Stella choose one she wanted to move into. She agreed she would pay the bills and some rent once she settled in.

Two weeks after she moved in, she quit her job. It has been almost a year, and she hasn't gone on one job interview. I pay all her bills now, and I'm getting resentful.

It's not the money (I've got plenty), but I feel she continues to see me only so she can live rent-free. Our communication isn't the greatest, and she gets angry if this topic is brought up. How should I approach her without sounding like a cheapskate? -- DON'T WANT TO BE A SUGAR DADDY IN CHICAGO

DEAR SUGAR DADDY: Of course she gets angry! Have you never heard the saying, "The best defense is a strong offense"?

If you want to resolve this, you must be prepared for Stella to react negatively. Start the conversation by saying, "When you moved into my condo, you agreed to pay your own bills and some rent. It's been a year, and you haven't even looked for a job." Then give her a date by which you want her to move out.

Because she has been living there for some time, she may have certain tenant's rights that will have to be respected. It doesn't take a crystal ball to see that you will probably have to evict her -- so talk to your attorney before you discuss this with Stella.

DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of a 31-year-old son, "Johann," who is in the Navy. He just posted a picture of himself in his uniform on Facebook. I am praying it's not his official photo, because he made an incredibly stupid face on it.

He used to do this when he was a child. Even his high school photos look like this. It is embarrassing to me! I could never show it to anyone and proudly say, "This is my son."

Johann is an accomplished young man, a supervisor. But I can't reconcile this picture with the man he is. What can I do? -- FREAKED OUT IN GERMANY

DEAR FREAKED OUT: Your son is an adult. If he is making this expression in photographs on purpose, perhaps it's time you asked him why. While it may be a display of immaturity on his part, it could also be that he is uncomfortable in front of a camera. (Many people are. It's referred to as "deer-in-the-headlights" syndrome.)

Explain that you would love to have a picture of him that depicts how he really is, and ask if he would be willing, as a favor to his mother, to sit for a session with a professional photographer when he comes home for a visit. If he isn't, then perhaps he'd be more relaxed posing for a photo that you take.

DEAR ABBY: My fiancee, "Tina," and I made a resolution to lose weight for our wedding. Everything has been going great except for one thing. Because men lose weight faster than women, I now weigh less at 6 foot 1 than she does at 5 feet 4.

Tina already has self-esteem issues. I want to look good for our wedding, but not at the cost of my fiancee's hurt feelings. What can I do? -- AT A LOSS IN MICHIGAN

DEAR AT A LOSS: Continue being supportive and help Tina to maintain her self-esteem. But her weight issue is her responsibility, not yours. If she becomes frustrated or depressed that she isn't losing quickly enough, suggest she consult her doctor or a registered dietitian about the reason why.