DEAR ABBY: I meet my dad for dinner once a week, which we both enjoy and have done for years. Dad stays very healthy and enjoys running and biking, which I completely support and admire him for.

The problem is, he has started running to our meals. He sweats a lot when he runs, so he arrives at the restaurant literally dripping. He then grabs a handful of napkins to wipe off, and lifts his shirt to wipe his face and neck with it. Abby, he's so sweaty that he has dripped on the counter when he signed the receipt.

I find this unbelievably rude, not just to me but to the restaurant. This wouldn't even be appropriate in a fast-food joint -- but this isn't one. It's a nice restaurant where people are trying to enjoy their meal. I feel if he wants to run to our dinners, he should arrange to get there early enough so he can dry off in a bathroom and change his shirt. He insists it's no big deal and that sweating is "normal."

What should I do? This is really getting to me. -- DISGUSTED IN SEATTLE

DEAR DISGUSTED: While I, too, admire your father's dedication to physical fitness, I can understand why his behavior would bother you. It is gross. If you haven't already expressed to him how inconsiderate this is, please do.

Because your father likes to run to the restaurant, consider stashing a supply of towels and shirts in the trunk of your car for him to change into in the men's room out of view of other patrons. (And don't forget the deodorant.) If he refuses to cooperate, then please -- for everyone's sake -- pick him up and transport him to the restaurant. Just reading your letter is enough to make the famished lose their appetite.

DEAR ABBY: I was 33 and newly divorced when I was finally able to experience living by myself. I kind of loved it. My boyfriend, "Alex," and I have lived together for almost four years and I almost never get time to be by myself.

Alex gets alone time because I'll sometimes have dinner with girlfriends, volunteer, go to the theater, etc. But he almost never leaves. He's somewhat social, but he always invites people over; he never goes to them. I have told Alex many times that I need him to give me some time alone in the house, but nothing comes of it.

He left for a couple of days to visit a relative two years ago (it was partly my idea) and it was great! I loved my solitude, and it was also nice to welcome Alex back home afterward. It was the first time I'd had a break! I don't want to wait another two years to get my house to myself for a while, but how? -- CRAVES "ME" TIME IN PORTLAND, ORE.

DEAR CRAVES "ME" TIME: In order to accomplish it, you are going to have to become more proactive. Many people need solitude to decompress; you are not the only one.

Tell Alex you need time alone in the house and that he will need to make other plans for a specific day. If that's hard for him, call some of the friends he has been inviting over -- after all this time, you probably know most of them -- and ask them to invite him over a couple of times a month. They may be able to help you pry him out of the house. If they are unsuccessful, it looks like Alex will have to visit his relatives on a more regular basis.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a man with a 14-year-old daughter who sits in the front seat of the car when we go anywhere, while I must sit in the back. I think when we go places, I should sit in the front seat. What do you think? -- FUMING IN THE BACK SEAT

DEAR FUMING: I think you and the daughter should alternate, and the person to suggest it should be her father. Under no circumstances should there be any whiff of competition, because if it comes across that way, the person not riding in the car will be you.

DEAR ABBY: I have a 10-year-old son. "Zack's" a great kid, creative, funny and athletic. He has decided to grow his hair long. My husband and I figure it's not illegal or immoral, so why fight it?

My family does not share our opinion. My mom and sister are cruel in their opposition to Zack growing his hair. They tell him he looks like a girl and call him names. There have been bribes, bullying and instances of utter insanity on their part, trying to make him cut it.

My sister's son has been physically and verbally cruel to Zack, and she thinks it's funny. She's repeating a pattern from when we were children of being the "toughest" -- if you can't handle the abuse, you're a "baby."

I need to know how to stand up to these family members for my son. It's a struggle for me to speak to them face-to-face, and they have called me a coward for sending email messages. My mother lives alone and sometimes has suicidal thoughts. Zack is stressed because he loves his grandma, but can't deal with her harassment. Can you help? -- GUILT-RIDDEN AND STRESSED IN ONTARIO, CANADA

DEAR GUILT-RIDDEN AND STRESSED: I'll try. Somehow, for your son's sake, you must find the courage to tell your mother and your sister to their faces that if they don't knock it off immediately, they'll be seeing a lot less of you and Zack.

The dynamics in your family are unhealthy -- but you are an adult now and no longer have to tolerate it. Because Zack is athletic, enroll him in self-defense classes and make sure he knows he does not have to tolerate physical abuse from anyone and that includes his cousin.

As to "Grandma," your son's emotional health must take precedence over hers. I seriously doubt she'll kill herself if she doesn't have your son to make miserable, so don't feel guilty about it.

DEAR ABBY: I was on a bus yesterday and a woman seated near me complained about how long the trip was taking for so long and so loudly that I ended up "catching" her negative energy. Because I couldn't find a nice way to shut her up, I finally put on earphones and turned on my music.

When there is a toxic person in a public place, what is the best way to get them to stop spewing their hateful sewage onto everyone else? -- ALLISON IN BROOKLYN

DEAR ALLISON: The most obvious way would be to put physical distance between you and the person, if that's possible. If it isn't, then the way you handled it was appropriate. In the interest of safety, I would not recommend confronting a possibly emotionally disturbed individual.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are retired and financially secure. Our three adult children shower us with costly gifts on Christmas, birthdays, and Mother's Day and Father's Day. Most of them end up on our closet shelves.

How can we tell them that what we would really prefer is just a kind, handwritten (not store-bought) note with possibly a recent picture of them or our grandchildren enclosed? -- DAD WHO HAS IT ALL

DEAR DAD: Why not say it the same way you expressed it to me? You are financially secure. Your closets are filled. You don't have room for any more "things," and this is the kind of gift you would prefer. If they disregard your wishes and give you more gifts you can't use, you can always donate them to a needy family.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are about to welcome our first child and we are overjoyed. However, as her due date nears and we start talking about the birth, hospital, etc., I'm getting nervous and anxious. I'm worried, I guess, that something will happen to my wife and I won't be able to cope with everything.

I had a rough childhood. Expressing emotions sometimes is pretty hard for me, so my wife doesn't know about this. Any advice on how to express my fears without sounding like I'm scared of losing her and the baby and expecting the worst? Is this a common thing for first-time dads? -- OVERLY EMOTIONAL IN TEXAS

DEAR OVERLY EMOTIONAL: Of course it is. You're not experiencing anything different than what other expectant fathers feel. But please understand that the incidence of maternal and infant mortality in the U.S. is very low.

Because your wife may have concerns or anxieties of her own, it would be better not to discuss your fears right now. If you have male friends or relatives who are parents, they might be willing to listen and offer support. Your family doctor could also listen and, if necessary, refer you to someone who can help you cope with your anxiety. But please understand that all of the feelings you're experiencing right now are very normal.

DEAR ABBY: My granddaughter asked me a tough question today. She lives primarily with her mother and stepfather. Her biological father sees her two nights a week and every other weekend. When he asks her if she misses him, she says she has to lie and say she does. She hates lying and asked me how she can tell him she doesn't miss him very much without hurting his feelings. Can you give me some ideas? -- STUCK FOR A RESPONSE IN NEVADA

DEAR STUCK: Your granddaughter should say, "Dad, please don't worry about me because I'm fine. I am adjusting." Period. It's the truth, it's not unkind and she won't have to feel like she's saying anything that should upset him.

DEAR ABBY: An ex-friend of mine recently apologized for some bad behavior toward me, saying she had been going through a rough time. She wants to renew our friendship and said she misses it. I was taken aback and didn't know what to say. I replied, "I'll get back to you about this," because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

Abby, I have no desire to renew a friendship with her because I have had it with her volatile personality and her needy and clingy nature.

How do I eventually respond? I was thinking of saying I have a full plate of responsibilities and commitments right now and can't make plans. I value your opinion, so what do you think? -- NEEDS THE RIGHT WORDS IN MICHIGAN

DEAR NEEDS THE RIGHT WORDS: You are under no obligation to resume a relationship with a troubled woman you're glad to be away from. Unless she has given you a deadline or manages to put you in a corner, you don't have to say anything more about it. However, if she does trap you into making some kind of statement, the one you related to me would be appropriate.