DEAR ABBY: Last summer, after 24 years of marriage, I finally summoned the nerve to take my teenage daughter and leave my emotionally abusive husband. We are both thriving now.

I have been in therapy, lost almost 45 pounds and have rediscovered my self-confidence all over again. A friend I have known for more than 10 years has expressed interest in dating me. I like him very much, but I'm not sure if it would be appropriate to date yet. What do you think? -- TENTATIVE IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR TENTATIVE: Tempting as this is, proceed with caution. When a person has been emotionally starved for a long time, then begins to feel attractive, accepted and validated again, the result can be euphoria -- a powerful "high." Right now you need to be rational.

What I think about your dating this man is less important than what your therapist thinks right now. Please make this question a priority during your next sessions because the insight you'll gain into yourself will help you not only in a relationship with this man -- if you decide to have one -- but in future ones as well.

DEAR ABBY: My 86-year-old dad buys all his food from the markdown "quick sale" tables, then lets it sit in the fridge for weeks or even months before he eats it. He insists the mold is penicillin and good for you. He eats moldy cheese, bread, fruit and meat I wouldn't feed to my dogs. He has a turkey in the freezer that expired in 2008, and he can't understand why I won't cook it for my pets.

Dad reads your column every day, so please give me some input. By the way, he isn't poor and can afford good, fresh food. -- PERPLEXED DAUGHTER IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR PERPLEXED DAUGHTER: Your father is a product of his upbringing during the Great Depression, a time when many people were starving. The habits people form when they are young can be hard to shake.

One reason that perishable products have a "sell by" date is that the food begins to lose its nutritional value. As to your father's excuse that he's ingesting "penicillin" when he eats moldy fruits, vegetables, baked goods and dairy products -- I'm sure his doctor would prefer he get it by prescription only.

Spoiled food can cause serious illness, which is why the U.S. government publishes pamphlets on the important topic of food safety. Visit www.foodsafety.gov and print out some of the "Food Safety at a Glance" charts for him. If he refuses to take your advice and mine, perhaps he'll be more receptive to what Uncle Sam has to say.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of two years, "Jesse," has suddenly changed. He's pushing me away. We are both 17 and have a 9-month-old baby.

Jesse spent the first six months of our son's life in state custody. Since he has been back, he has been really distant. He ignores me and isn't affectionate anymore. When I get upset about it, he denies it and says I have no reason to be upset.

I'm scared our relationship isn't as strong as I thought. My son deserves a family, but it's falling apart. What should I do? -- TROUBLED IN TENNESSEE

DEAR TROUBLED: You have no idea what might have happened to Jesse after he was sent away, so give him some space, but let him know that if he wants to talk about it, you are willing to listen and be supportive. Don't push and don't be clingy. You may have to be strong for all three of you. Complete your education, take parenting classes, and encourage Jesse to do it, too. Do this and your son will have a family, whether or not it's the one you thought you'd have with Jesse.

DEAR ABBY: I have two sisters and three brothers, ranging in age from 52 to 69. All of us except one are comfortable financially.

The exception is our brother "Jerry," who is homeless. He lives in a park and does odd jobs. He owes money for old student loans and probably back taxes, so he's hesitant about finding a "real" job and having to fill out a W-4 form. I believe he uses alcohol and marijuana, but not often.

I am the only family member who is in contact with him, and I give him money occasionally. The others may not be aware of how bad his living situation is. I have no room for him in my house because my adult daughter and grandson moved in.

We are not a close family, although we have no animosity. Should I send an email or letter to my siblings about our brother? Should I ask for suggestions on how to help him? How should it be worded? -- SENSITIVE SIS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SENSITIVE SIS: The answer to both questions is yes. Your message doesn't have to be long or fancy. If I were writing it, I would put it this way: "Are you aware that our brother Jerry is homeless, living in a park and surviving on odd jobs? This is a disgrace to our family. Do you have any suggestions about how to help our brother?"

People who live on the streets (or in parks) usually have more problems than unpaid student loans and back taxes. There is often a significant mental health or substance abuse issue. My suggestion would be to involve a social worker in steering your brother toward the help he needs to get his life back. If there is money involved, wouldn't it be more wisely spent that way?

DEAR ABBY: I'm getting married next year, and in my excitement, I asked four of my good friends to be my bridesmaids. As the date grows closer, I am realizing just how much a wedding really costs. Would it be wrong for me to change my mind about having bridesmaids? The girls haven't paid for anything yet or wasted any time during the planning process.

Please help me. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I can't afford to have a wedding party. -- SOUTHERN BELLE

DEAR SOUTHERN BELLE: Contact your good friends individually and explain the situation just as you have explained it to me. Once they understand that financial constraints prevent you from having the wedding you fantasized about, none of them should feel slighted that you need to scale back. Frankly, I commend you on your good judgment in recognizing this now.

DEAR ABBY: I'm getting married next year, and in my excitement, I asked four of my good friends to be my bridesmaids. As the date grows closer, I am realizing just how much a wedding really costs. Would it be wrong for me to change my mind about having bridesmaids? The girls haven't paid for anything yet or wasted any time during the planning process.

Please help me. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I can't afford to have a wedding party. -- SOUTHERN BELLE

DEAR SOUTHERN BELLE: Contact your good friends individually and explain the situation just as you have explained it to me. Once they understand that financial constraints prevent you from having the wedding you fantasized about, none of them should feel slighted that you need to scale back. Frankly, I commend you on your good judgment in recognizing this now.

DEAR ABBY: I am 20 years old and in jail. My ex-girlfriend recently had a baby. I left her during her pregnancy. We had been together for two years, but things just weren't working.

I told her I still wanted to be in my daughter's life after she had the baby, but she left and went to North Carolina. After I was incarcerated, I lost contact with her. She said I can be a part of my daughter's life only if we have a family and get back together.

I'm willing to do that, but I won't be out of jail for five more months, and I have no way to contact her. How do I go about it, Abby? -- LOVES MY BABY GIRL

DEAR LOVES: When your ex said what she did, she was using the baby to manipulate you into doing what she wanted. Because your relationship "wasn't working," I would caution you against having any more children with her.

When you are released, she may come after you for child support, or if she applies for benefits in North Carolina, the state may do that. That would be one way of pinpointing where she is. You could also search for her online. However, if you can't locate her any other way, you may have to hire a private detective when you can afford one.

DEAR ABBY: My kindhearted, loving mother-in-law would do anything for me. She has lived in an in-law apartment attached to our home for 20 years. She and my father-in-law -- God rest his soul -- were a huge help when our children were growing up.

The kids are gone now, and my husband and I would like to sell our home and move to something smaller. Would it be awful of us to make her move? She is 88. She has a loud and adamant-sounding voice, so it would not be in our best interest to have her move with us. -- DAUGHTER-IN-LAW IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR DAUGHTER-IN-LAW: Yes, it would be awful. It almost appears you took advantage of her for baby-sitting purposes, but now that the children are grown, she is no longer useful. Her voice didn't bother you before, so why does it now?

While it may not be "in your interest" to have her move with you, it may be extremely difficult for her to adjust to a new living situation at her age. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. When your children see that you think this is an acceptable way to treat someone, the same thing could happen to you.

DEAR ABBY: I recently told my mother that I am transgender, male to female. She is supportive and urged me to come out to my father. Abby, he doesn't believe me!

I knew I was a girl at the age of 4, but kept it to myself until I was 16. How can I get my father to believe me? And how do I get my friends to understand when I come out to them? -- NEEDS HELP IN MISSOURI

DEAR NEEDS HELP: It may take time for your father to accept that you are transgender, or even to learn what that really means. Please remember that you do not have to "sell" this idea to your friends. As time passes, they will understand as you start living as a female and begin taking hormones.

An organization called PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) is a source of reliable information and support for you, your friends and family members who are interested in learning about these issues. You can find it online at pflag.org.