DEAR ABBY: I'm a 19-year-old girl in my third semester of college. My boyfriend, "Tom," attends a community college nearby. Both of us live with our parents. I have had only three boyfriends in my life, and Tom was my high school sweetheart.

Tom just proposed. I immediately accepted, but now I'm second-guessing my decision. We're just starting our adult lives, and I'm still learning what that entails. I want to study abroad during college to enhance my experience of the world. Also, because neither of us has ever moved beyond our childhood homes, I think we should both have more exposure about the world beyond.

Everyone is supportive of us, including our parents. I will always be committed to Tom and I trust him completely, but I feel that by prematurely locking ourselves in, we're setting ourselves up for failure. Am I overreacting? -- FLEDGLING FIANCEE IN LOUISIANA

DEAR FIANCEE: Not at all. The points you have made in your letter are well-reasoned. You are very young to be making a permanent commitment, and you're both entering a period of growth -- and possible divergence in your level of life experience. Tom may have proposed because he was afraid if he didn't, he might lose you now that you're attending different schools.

Tell Tom you care for him deeply, but think you jumped the gun. Make it clear that you would like to keep seeing him, but on a nonexclusive basis until you return from your studies abroad. I agree that by prematurely locking yourselves in, the odds of the relationship not lasting are high. Be sure Tom understands that you aren't trying to end the relationship, only postponing the engagement.

DEAR ABBY: I was always a laid-back and easygoing person. But I was in a terrible car accident, and ever since I have suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder. I have received counseling and function pretty well as long as I remain in a calm environment.

My problem is that my husband's family comes to visit each year for anywhere from four to eight days, and when they're here my stress level is very high. Their last three visits resulted in my getting migraine headaches, which I had never experienced before, as well as TMJ (pain in my jaw) and painful neuropathy, which the doctor explained was brought on by stress. It has lasted two months.

I like my in-laws, but I am unwilling to deal with more pain as a result of their visits. My husband doesn't want to send them to a hotel, which I understand. Therefore, I feel that since this is my problem, I should move to a hotel during their visits. What do you think, Abby? -- PUSHED TO THE LIMIT

DEAR PUSHED: Unless this is handled delicately -- and by that I mean carefully explained to your husband's family -- it could cause hurt feelings. Surely your in-laws are aware of your car accident. What they may not be aware of is the lingering damage it has caused. Your husband should explain this to his relatives and ask if they would mind staying elsewhere because of your medical condition.

If you can tolerate their "tumult" on a limited basis, this might solve the problem. If not, then I agree you should stay elsewhere so they can have a good time together. However, this should happen with full disclosure and preferably no hard feelings. If you can see any of them individually for a short time, you should make every effort so they won't feel you are avoiding them for any other reason.

DEAR ABBY: I am upset with myself for getting my granddaughter the cellphone she begged me for. I wish the phone companies would put restrictions on them. I wondered why she was feeling tired in the mornings until I caught her on the phone at 4 a.m. She can't get dressed in the morning because she's texting every two minutes.

When her friend, who she was always very active with, came over, the girl wound up watching a movie with me because my granddaughter would not stop texting in her bedroom. She wasn't like this until she got this new boyfriend, and he must have no life at all. Should I talk to his parents? It is consuming her life, morning, noon and night. I have told her she can't have the phone until her homework is done. -- FRUSTRATED GRANDMA IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR GRANDMA: You shouldn't expect the phone company to decide what is acceptable in your home. As the adult in your household, it's up to you to assert control. If your granddaughter lives with you, by all means talk to the boyfriend's parents about this.

But equally important, enforce cellphone limits. If you think she can't be trusted not to use it after lights-out, see that she gives you her phone at bedtime. In the morning, return it to her once she's dressed and ready for school. And when she invites friends over, make sure she understands it is her responsibility -- not yours -- to entertain them, because what she did was rude.

DEAR ABBY: I have met a darling man I'm compatible with in every way. We have similar tastes in just about everything from decorating and landscaping to entertainment.

My problem is his past. From what he says, he has never had a monogamous relationship, even during his marriage. After the divorce he pursued anything female.

When we are out at a club or a concert, I constantly encounter women he has been with. He tells me he is happy for the first time in his life and he would never cheat on me.

I have never been the jealous type, and I'm really not now. I just don't want to be the woman everyone is laughing at because they know his history. As I said, we are content and happy, but I need to move past this or move on, I guess. -- THE CURRENT WOMAN

DEAR CURRENT WOMAN: You say this "darling" man has never had a monogamous relationship -- before, during or after his marriage. Therefore, the odds aren't great that he'll have one with you.

It's time to ask yourself (not me) if you would be willing to tolerate his fooling around if you were his wife. Some women -- the wives of attractive or powerful men -- are open-minded about it if their husbands are discreet. The real question is, are you?

DEAR ABBY: I wrote to you three years ago about throwing parties on unique days, such as 7-7-07, 9-9-09, etc., and you printed my letter.

Well, I'm still at it, even though the special numbers have run out. I planned a brunch on 11-11-11. Everyone who attended chipped in $11 apiece. The money that was left over I donated to a hunger program. Twelve of us met for lunch at noon on 12-12-12, and this time each person paid -- guess how much -- $12.

This year, we'll be having brunch at 10:00 on 11-12-13, and I'm already planning ahead for next year's celebration, which will be on 12-13-14 at 1500 hours. Any suggestions? -- CLAIRE (AGAIN) IN BETHLEHEM, PA.

DEAR CLAIRE: You appear to be a fun, clever woman with a zest for life. And yes, I do have a suggestion. How about making next year's celebration a tea with a holiday theme? After all, "'tis the season," and any leftover money could be donated to a children's charity.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 19-year-old female who is serving in the U.S. Air Force. I'm stationed overseas at the moment, and I plan to make the military my career.

I have reached a point in life when I am ready to have a family. Unfortunately, I haven't found a man who is compatible with me. Every relationship I have ends because it conflicts with my military schedule.

I know adoption is a hard process, but I'm willing to go through it. What do you think about my trying to adopt as a single parent? -- UNSURE OF MY NEXT MOVE IN ENGLAND

DEAR UNSURE: I'm glad you asked because I think you're jumping the gun. At 19, your search for someone compatible has been limited because of your youth and job responsibilities.

Who would care for your little one if you, as a single mother, were transferred to a "hot spot," or injured or worse? Would relatives assume the responsibility? Before becoming a mother -- adoptive or otherwise -- it's important that you think about this realistically from the point of view of what would be best for the child. If you wait to become a parent until you are older, as many women do today, you will be better equipped emotionally and financially for the responsibility.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend whose child is brilliant. He is testing in the 99.5 percentile. At 7, he is already far in advance of his classmates. He has read chapter books since age 5, is doing algebra and asking post-doctoral math and science questions, according to a professor close to the family.

His mother is in denial. She says the other kids will "catch up" in time. If he had special needs in another area, I know she'd be in there fighting to get him appropriate services and accommodations.

Please, Abby, what can we do to convince his mother that he needs more than what his inner-city schools can provide? I was one of those kids, and I know he needs contact with other kids who match his intellectual level more closely. -- CONCERNED FRIEND IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR CONCERNED: The mother may be in denial, but the child's teachers and principal must surely have recognized his abilities. Enlist their help in convincing the mother to see that her son advances at a rate appropriate for his IQ.

When students are as far ahead academically as the child you describe, they can become bored and disruptive. It would be in everyone's interest to see that he is placed in classes where he can continue to excel -- regardless of whether the others catch up.

DEAR ABBY: With Halloween fast approaching, I would like to remind cat owners to keep them safely indoors on the days surrounding this holiday. Unfortunately, some people still associate cats with Halloween superstitions. Please do not assume that black cats are the only felines at risk. Any cat can be the target of a cruel Halloween prank. -- CAT LOVER IN THE SOUTH

DEAR CAT LOVER: Thank you for the reminder. Please, everyone, keep yourselves and your pets safe this Halloween.