DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend off and on for nine years. When I moved to San Francisco, we separated for a year, until he decided he wanted to move here.

He has been miserable and depressed since he came. He misses his family and friends. His salary doesn't go as far here, so he's always short of money. He has also had a string of bad luck -- speeding tickets, car repairs, a stolen bike and a back injury. He says he'll move back east soon if things don't get better, and it's making me anxious. He does nothing to turn around his problems.

How can I help him realize it takes time for a new city to feel like home and lessen my anxiety over his problems? -- ANXIOUS IN THE BAY AREA

DEAR ANXIOUS: Your boyfriend does not appear to be anywhere near as adaptable as you are. You didn't mention how long he has been in California, but if it's longer than six months and he's still homesick, you may have a life-changing decision ahead of you. Would you rather live "in his world than live without him in" ... San Francisco? Even if your heart's in San Francisco, his does not appear to be.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of nearly a year and I recently said "I love you" for the first time. Before he said it (he said it first) he told me he doesn't want to start saying it "all the time" -- wherein lies my dilemma. How often is too often? Do I say it every night before bed or only on special occasions?

Please help because I'm confused, and I'm worrying that I'm hurting him because I haven't said it since that night four days ago. I don't want to smother him or make him feel uncomfortable. -- HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?

DEAR HOW MUCH: Not everyone is comfortable with verbal declarations of love, and your boyfriend may be one of them. Love is spontaneous, it's a feeling -- not a mathematical formula. Only your boyfriend can tell you how often is too often for him.

However, if you are sharing a bed, you should be able to express yourself fully whenever you climb into it -- and his reaction should be positive (if not reciprocal) when you do.

DEAR ABBY: I am far from flat-chested (I'm a happy B-cup), but you wouldn't call me "well-endowed." My question is, why is it that friends and family members who have larger breasts constantly ask me if I would like some of theirs? I think it's rude and, quite frankly, embarrassing. I would never turn the tables and say, "I'm feeling a little skinny. Could I have some of your fat?" What do I say when asked? -- PERFECTLY FINE IN EVANSTON, WYO.

DEAR PERFECTLY FINE: A few responses come to mind; none that I'd print in a family newspaper. My advice is to keep it simple and nonconfrontational. Smile and say, "No thanks, I'm happy just the way I am!"

P.S. In my opinion, a B-cup is well-endowed.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter-in-law had an affair with a co-worker and is now pregnant by him. She swears she loves my son and won't leave him, but insists that her lover be a part of the baby's life. My son is torn. They have two small children and he doesn't want to break up the family. How can he continue to trust her?

My husband refuses to have her in our house. She can be vindictive to those she feels have "wronged" her, and I'm afraid she'll keep us from the grandchildren. My son used to go to church before she came along, but they no longer go. We sought legal advice for him and he knows the score in that regard. Abby, how can we make him see this woman is no good for him? -- HEAVY-HEARTED MOTHER IN GEORGIA

DEAR MOTHER: If I were you, I'd stop trying. Your son has made his choice, which is to keep his family together. If that means accepting that his wife will maintain a relationship with her lover and, in essence, her baby will have "two daddies," that's the way it's going to be. While I understand your husband's anger, as long as your son is willing to tolerate the situation, there is nothing to be gained by banning your daughter-in-law from the premises.

Because you mentioned church, pray for the strength to support your son through this because he's going to need it. I'm sure he is fully aware that his wife isn't "good" for him, but he's trying to take the high road anyway. So try to be supportive.

DEAR ABBY: I met a woman who seems to be everything I have been looking for. We have similar interests and share many of the same goals.

My problem is I'm only 5 foot 9 and she's 6 feet tall. Am I foolish for feeling like less of a man when in her company? What will people think? -- NOT SO TALL IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR NOT SO TALL: If you would allow a 3-inch difference in height to keep you from pursuing a woman who "seems to be everything you're looking for," then you are foolish.

Being taller than a woman doesn't make a man more manly. What makes a man manly is his level of self-confidence, which you appear to lack. Until you understand and accept that what other people think is their problem, I'm not sure you'll find the happiness you're looking for.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old girl who's involved with social media. My parents have always been protective. A few days ago they asked me for the passwords to my Twitter, Facebook and email accounts. I understand they're trying to protect me, but the fact that they don't trust me by now is upsetting.

I tried telling them this, and they say they do trust me, but they still want my passwords. Is this a contradiction? I need some independence, and they don't seem to understand that. -- LOSING MY MIND IN TACOMA, WASH.

DEAR LOSING YOUR MIND: It's not a contradiction if you read some of the news coverage on the Internet about young people who have committed suicide because they were hounded by cyber-bullies. It's not a contradiction if you consider that sometimes bad things happen at parties that aren't properly supervised. If, God forbid, you should "disappear," your parents -- and the police -- would want to know who had been communicating with you and what was said.

Please do not overreact to their concern. While it would have been better if they had given you a reason for their request, I doubt they'll be reading over your shoulder. Most parents don't spend a lot of time doing that unless they have some reason to mistrust their teenager.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I go out to dinner once a month with a couple we have known for years. "Joe" is an active conversationalist, while my husband is fairly quiet.

The problem is Joe addresses only me and stares at me throughout the meal. I think it's just a bad habit he has acquired. To no avail I have tried various seating arrangements to avoid the constant stare. It makes me very uncomfortable. I feel bad for my husband, who is totally ignored, but doesn't seem to care as long as the food is good!

How do I get Joe to include my husband in the conversation and rest his gaze elsewhere? I would never say anything to "Mrs. Joe" about it because I don't want to make her uncomfortable, too. I really want to continue the friendship and the socializing, but I'd like to feel more relaxed at the dinner table. Any suggestions? -- DISTRESSED DINER

DEAR DISTRESSED: You are not helpless. The next time Joe directs his comments and questions only to you, toss the verbal ball to your husband and say, "Honey, what do you think about that?" It will give him an opening to enter the conversation.

As for the staring, Joe may not be aware of what he's doing. You could bring it to his attention by simply saying: "You keep looking at me, Joe. Do I have food in my teeth? Is my lipstick smeared?" Then haul out a compact and make a show of checking for yourself. It may help to curb his discomfiting habit.

DEAR ABBY: I'm single and have grown children. I know I am not going to live forever, and I want to make sure I am not a burden to them even after death. I have a will and no bills beyond my house and normal living expenses. What else do I need to do to make sure everything is taken care of when I'm gone? -- PREPARING IN ADVANCE

DEAR PREPARING: Do you have an advance directive for health care in case you become so ill before your death that you can't speak for yourself? Do you have at least one health care advocate who will ensure your wishes are carried out? Do you have a cemetery plot selected and paid for, so your children won't have to do it? How about money set aside for your funeral or memorial?

If the answer to each of these questions is yes, all you need to do is make certain your children are aware of it. If not, then get busy!

DEAR ABBY: I'm 14 and in the eighth grade. Some of my friends have problems with body odor. It makes it hard for me to be around them. They are all nice people, but sometimes I can't breathe when I'm near them.

Some of my other friends say I should tell them, but I'm not sure how without hurting their feelings. The odor ranges from breath to body. Abby, they are known throughout our school for being "the smelly ones." How do I tell them without offending them? -- BREATHLESS IN BEACHWOOD, OHIO

DEAR BREATHLESS: I agree that telling people they have bad breath or body odor can be embarrassing. But to do so is not hurtful; in fact, it is doing the person a huge favor. The way to do it is privately. This is important because your friends are probably not aware that they have a problem or have been causing one.