DEAR ABBY: My husband is 99 percent bed-bound with primary progressive MS. My oldest son is bipolar (he's off his meds and doing great), and my youngest son has Asperger's. I know ... wow.

My husband refuses to even try to understand the boys. When they have behavior problems, he tells them if he could, he would backhand them. Great parenting, huh? But at the same time, the boys and I are expected to have our lives revolve around his disability and stop everything when he needs help. His MS is always top priority.

I hate watching him go through his disease, but does that give him a free pass to bully our boys? I realize the boys (especially the younger one) have issues that are difficult to deal with, and I'm not giving them a free pass, either, but I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. If I support my sons, I'm a bad wife. If I support my husband, I'm a bad mom. And -- not to sound selfish -- who supports me?

I'm not really expecting any answers, but needed to vent, for lack of better terminology. I do have a support system of extended family and friends, but sometimes the lack of support inside the house makes me crazy. Any words of wisdom, Abby? -- STRETCHED THIN IN COLORADO

DEAR STRETCHED THIN: You have a right to vent. You're carrying an enormous load on your shoulders right now. I wish you wouldn't label yourself as a "bad" anything because you are just a mortal woman who is trying to cope. Your husband is understandably bitter and frustrated and sometimes takes it out on those closest to him -- you and the boys. His MS is top priority because he's incapacitated and it has to be.

Your boys need to understand the importance of not stressing out their father. I'm glad your older son is doing well off medication, if that's OK with his doctor. But it's my understanding that people with a chemical imbalance need to stay on their meds to maintain their equilibrium. As to your younger son, people with Asperger's may have problems with their social interactions, but they can be taught rules of acceptable behavior. Perhaps it's time to work a little harder on that.

As to your own needs, believe me, I sympathize. If you need to vent, it's important for your sanity that you be able to do so. It's wonderful that you have extended family and friends to support you, but if at all possible, find someone who can offer a respite from your caregiving responsibilities every few weeks.

DEAR ABBY: My sister and I have settled my mother's estate except for one item: Mom's cookbooks. In particular, one book that Mom used regularly and in which she modified recipes. My mother was a phenomenal cook, and this book is a real bone of contention for us all. What should I do? -- LOST FOR WORDS

DEAR LOST FOR WORDS: One person can volunteer to be the "family cooks' librarian" and if anyone wants to prepare a modified recipe, the librarian could scan it or photocopy it and send it. Or, all of the modified recipes could be photocopied at once and distributed to family members who would like to have them. The task shouldn't be onerous because I doubt your mother modified every recipe in the book.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 24 and a college graduate. My boyfriend, "Jordan," and I have been together for a year and we would like to get married. However, my parents are against the idea. They love Jordan, but they think marriage is stupid because, in 2013, "Who is getting married?"

I think this is totally ridiculous, but I don't know what to do. I want to be married and I would love my parents' approval, but it's hard when they call me stupid for wanting to take that step just because their marriage didn't work out.

I love Jordan and I love my parents. Should I have to choose between the two? -- TOTALLY TORN

DEAR TOTALLY TORN: You do not have to choose between your parents and being married. At 24, you are an adult and mature enough to make your own decision about the importance of the institution.

As to the question of "who is getting married" these days, one answer is people with college degrees are marrying at a greater rate than those with only a high school education -- and their unions are more lasting. I'm sorry your parents' marriage didn't work out, but you would be foolish to let their cynical opinion of this kind of commitment taint your perspective. I hope you and Jordan enjoy many happy and fulfilling years together.

DEAR ABBY: What are your thoughts about co-workers dating? I have a crush on one of my co-workers, and I believe it is reciprocated. We're unsure about an office romance because, while it isn't against the rules for people to date within the building, there are concerns about sexual harassment or inappropriate behavior on the premises. (Some of our co-workers have dated with no problems.)

Would it be wrong to attempt to further the relationship, as long as it remains appropriate within the office, or should I forget it and date someone outside of work? -- WORKING RELATIONSHIP IN INDIANA

DEAR WORKING RELATIONSHIP: This may seem old-fashioned, but I'm not crazy about the idea of office romances. While I know they are not uncommon and it's hard to fight mutual attraction, office romances are distracting. When the pheromones are flying, it can be extremely difficult to concentrate on the tasks at hand. And if it doesn't work out, there can be tension, embarrassment and hard feelings in the aftermath, and that's not good for business.

DEAR ABBY: Twice in the past month I have received thank-you notes for gifts I had given, but the wrong gift was mentioned. I usually spend a lot of time selecting just the right thing, and I take pride in my choices.

I understand how something like that could happen, but I'm not sure what to do about it. Should I just keep quiet about it, or say something to the person? What would I say? I don't want to embarrass anyone, but I know I have received gifts in the past that will forever remind me of the giver. -- PICKING OUT PRESENTS IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR PICKING OUT PRESENTS: I see nothing to be gained by not alerting the person to the mistake. If you were thanked for the wrong gift, so was another giver. If I had mixed up the gift cards, I would want to know -- wouldn't you? Do unto others ...

DEAR ABBY: I have a half-sister with whom I share a mother. Her father and my mother were married for almost 10 years. This man, I believe, had some mental issues. He would quiz me about my sexual relations with my boyfriend at the time, wanting details. He would often fly off the handle and argue with my mother for no reason. There are too many other examples to list. Quite frankly, he was a horrible husband and father.

This man died two years ago. My half-sister has since immortalized her father into someone he was not. She even tattooed his initials on her wrist.

Abby, how is a person supposed to deal with a relative who is living in fantasyland about a parent? His widow has sent her emails telling her the kind of man he really was, but she continues to act as if he was the world's best father even though he wasn't. -- KNOWS THE TRUTH

DEAR KNOWS THE TRUTH: Either your former stepfather was the greatest father in the world to her, or your half-sister needs the fantasy she's clinging to for her emotional well-being. Let her have her fantasy if it comforts her. If she raises the subject of good old dad with you, just tell her you'd prefer not to discuss it. If you do that, you'll both be happier.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 31 and the mother of three awesome children. At 29, I left my husband of nine years and came out of the closet. I have been in a stable two-year relationship with my girlfriend, and she recently moved in with us.

My oldest child has started asking if his friends can come and stay the night on a weekend. I let one child spend the night with him once. My sister asked me if I had told the child's parent that I'm a lesbian living with a partner. When I said no, she got upset and said that because we live in a small, religious country town I should inform the child's parent of my living situation.

I can see where she's coming from, but I don't feel it's my responsibility to offer this personal information. We're hardworking, law-abiding citizens, and I am a loving and protective mother. We aren't felons who need to "disclose" our personal "crimes." What do you think? -- PROUD MAMA IN THE SOUTH

DEAR PROUD MAMA: I, too, can see where your sister is coming from, and I don't like the direction. You are not under any obligation to announce your sexual orientation to anyone. In a small town -- religious or not -- word gets around quickly on its own. Trust me on that. However, if you are asked directly, you should be honest.

DEAR ABBY: Our daughter was married recently. During the wedding or the reception, someone stole money from the purses of at least two of the bridesmaids.

Are the bride's parents responsible for the loss? -- MOTHER OF THE BRIDE IN ALABAMA

DEAR MOTHER OF THE BRIDE: What happened was unfortunate, and I hope the lesson the bridesmaids learned from this wasn't an expensive one. Unless you agreed to look after the young women's belongings, you are not responsible for the loss. They should have left their purses with someone they trusted or secured in a locked room or car.

As a gesture of good will, depending upon the state of your finances, you might want to make good on their loss. But you are not required to do so.