DEAR ABBY: I have a half-sister with whom I share a mother. Her father and my mother were married for almost 10 years. This man, I believe, had some mental issues. He would quiz me about my sexual relations with my boyfriend at the time, wanting details. He would often fly off the handle and argue with my mother for no reason. There are too many other examples to list. Quite frankly, he was a horrible husband and father.

This man died two years ago. My half-sister has since immortalized her father into someone he was not. She even tattooed his initials on her wrist.

Abby, how is a person supposed to deal with a relative who is living in fantasyland about a parent? His widow has sent her emails telling her the kind of man he really was, but she continues to act as if he was the world's best father even though he wasn't. -- KNOWS THE TRUTH

DEAR KNOWS THE TRUTH: Either your former stepfather was the greatest father in the world to her, or your half-sister needs the fantasy she's clinging to for her emotional well-being. Let her have her fantasy if it comforts her. If she raises the subject of good old dad with you, just tell her you'd prefer not to discuss it. If you do that, you'll both be happier.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 31 and the mother of three awesome children. At 29, I left my husband of nine years and came out of the closet. I have been in a stable two-year relationship with my girlfriend, and she recently moved in with us.

My oldest child has started asking if his friends can come and stay the night on a weekend. I let one child spend the night with him once. My sister asked me if I had told the child's parent that I'm a lesbian living with a partner. When I said no, she got upset and said that because we live in a small, religious country town I should inform the child's parent of my living situation.

I can see where she's coming from, but I don't feel it's my responsibility to offer this personal information. We're hardworking, law-abiding citizens, and I am a loving and protective mother. We aren't felons who need to "disclose" our personal "crimes." What do you think? -- PROUD MAMA IN THE SOUTH

DEAR PROUD MAMA: I, too, can see where your sister is coming from, and I don't like the direction. You are not under any obligation to announce your sexual orientation to anyone. In a small town -- religious or not -- word gets around quickly on its own. Trust me on that. However, if you are asked directly, you should be honest.

DEAR ABBY: Our daughter was married recently. During the wedding or the reception, someone stole money from the purses of at least two of the bridesmaids.

Are the bride's parents responsible for the loss? -- MOTHER OF THE BRIDE IN ALABAMA

DEAR MOTHER OF THE BRIDE: What happened was unfortunate, and I hope the lesson the bridesmaids learned from this wasn't an expensive one. Unless you agreed to look after the young women's belongings, you are not responsible for the loss. They should have left their purses with someone they trusted or secured in a locked room or car.

As a gesture of good will, depending upon the state of your finances, you might want to make good on their loss. But you are not required to do so.

DEAR ABBY: I am appalled at older workers who hang onto their jobs so they can live lavish lifestyles, while young workers trying to support families are left with lack of advancement or even laid off because they don't have tenure.

I am a single mom, and when my sons are out of college I plan to take a less stressful job (and thus less pay), so a younger person can have my job to support a family. I am so tired of the ME ME ME attitude of our society now. In the past, there was more of a sense of social responsibility. Now it's every man for himself and hang everyone else! -- DISGUSTED IN COLUMBUS, OHIO

DEAR DISGUSTED: While your altruism is laudable, please try to be less judgmental. Many older people work longer these days not to live lavish lifestyles, but to survive.

Unless you have a crystal ball that enables you to see what seniors have in the bank, it's presumptuous to say someone should retire. Many seniors are unprepared financially to do so through no fault of their own. And while you may think now that you'll take a reduction in pay when your sons are out of college, it remains to be seen if that will be feasible for you when the time comes.

DEAR ABBY: My cousin died a short time ago at a very young age and in an unnatural and devastating way. As soon as people outside the family started finding out, they began asking what happened. Many of these questions were posted on my relatives' Facebook pages.

Is it just me or isn't that a very insensitive thing to do? It's not just that they are asking questions of a grieving family who lost their son only hours before, but that they did it through Facebook. -- MOURNING IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR MOURNING: Please accept my sympathy for your family's tragic loss. We live in an age in which respect for privacy has nearly disappeared, and folks routinely bare intimate and sensitive details about their lives on the Internet. Of course questions like the ones your relatives are being asked are tasteless -- whether in person or via electronic media. If a person wishes to convey this kind of information, it is usually done voluntarily, and certainly not when feelings are raw.

DEAR ABBY: Too often we hear horrifying stories in the news about prescription drug addiction and overdoses. I'd like to offer hope to addicts who are still using.

There is life after drugs. For 10 years I was addicted to pain pills. My poor mother tried everything. She offered me trips or help in buying a new car if I would just go to rehab. I refused because I wasn't ready. I finally hit rock bottom and went into rehab when I realized my daughter was pulling away from me. I had been spending our rent money on pills I'd buy on the streets.

After I was sober for a few days, I realized I liked the feeling. After the sixth day, I was "me" again, and I loved it. I have been sober for two years and am now entering school to become a patient tech. It's exciting because I will be helping others. I believe this is what I was meant to do in life.

Everyone keeps saying I should tell my story, but to be honest, my story isn't finished yet. Thank you for letting me share. -- ENJOYING SOBRIETY IN FLORIDA

DEAR ENJOYING SOBRIETY: You're welcome. You're right that your story isn't over yet, but from where I'm sitting it looks like the next chapter will be a happy and constructive one. I wish you success in your journey.

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago one of my granddaughters was molested by her mother's (my daughter's) then-boyfriend, whom they were living with. When the girl's father found out, he called the police and the man was arrested, tried and convicted.

Abby, while he was out on bail, my daughter married him! She doesn't believe the molestation took place. If I were in her shoes, I would certainly believe my 8-year-old daughter over a boyfriend about something so damaging.

I cut off contact with this daughter, as did her sisters. She occasionally calls my husband (who is not her father) when she wants something, and I have received a few texts, which I ignore.

Am I doing the right thing? I sometimes feel guilty, but it angers me that she didn't stand behind her daughter and has made no effort to see either of her girls over the past two years. I see them often because their dad knows I stand with the girls 100 percent. -- GRANDMA IN OHIO

DEAR GRANDMA: The answer to your question depends upon why your daughter hasn't seen her children in two years. If it's because their father won't allow it, then her estrangement from her daughters isn't her fault. If it has been her choice, however, then stop feeling guilty.

DEAR ABBY: I need your opinion about my ex-husband and his lack of respect for boundaries. He moved out of our home two years ago, but never changed his mailing address. We have been officially divorced for six months. He feels it's OK to come to our "married house" anytime he wants. We have two teenage children who refuse to spend the night with him.

When he comes to my house, he goes through the mail, opens the cabinets and refrigerators, even goes into my room when I'm not home and watches TV. I am dating someone new and don't feel comfortable with this setup. I'm worried it will cause problems with my new friend, and I don't know how to stop this madness.

We currently have the "married house" on the market, and I want to make sure he knows he won't be welcome in my new home if not invited. How do I avoid conflict with him and my kids? -- REALLY DIVORCED IN ST. LOUIS

DEAR REALLY DIVORCED: You should have set clear boundaries the day your divorce became official, but it's still not too late to do so. Tell your ex to notify the post office -- and his creditors -- of his change of address, and that if his mail continues to show up at your house, after a month it will be returned to the post office with the notation "not at this address."

You should also inform him and your children that you do not want him in your house in your absence. If he doesn't respect your wishes, then change the locks. The time he spends with your teenage children should also be elsewhere. He may not like the fact that you are establishing your independence, but you have a right to your privacy.

TO MY JEWISH READERS: Sundown starts Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year. It is the beginning of our time of solemn introspection. I would like to wish you all "Leshana tova tikatevu" -- may you be inscribed in the Book of Life and enjoy another good year.