DEAR ABBY: I am a teacher, and at the end of the year I receive many gifts and notes of appreciation from the parents of my students. This year, one of my parents, a beautician, presented me with a gift certificate for a facial.

Last week I made the appointment and was given a fantastic facial by this mom. I didn't tip her afterward because I wasn't sure how to handle a gift like this.

Was I right in not tipping her? Since this was a gift from her, I'm hoping I didn't insult her by not offering one. If I was wrong, I'd like to go back and give her the tip she would have earned. -- WONDERING TEACHER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR TEACHER: Because the gift certificate came from the person who delivered the service to you, you did not insult her by not offering a gratuity. (In fact, had you offered one for her gift, it might have been taken the wrong way.) If the facialist who performed the service had been someone other than the mother, a tip would have been in order, but not in a case like this.

The proper way to convey your gratitude for her fantastic facial would be to write a short note telling her what a treat it was and how much you enjoyed her gift.

DEAR ABBY: My 14-year-old granddaughter, "Grace," has confided to me that she's smoking pot and drinking. When I asked her why, she said she does it to make herself feel better. I told her she has a serious problem, and something has to be done.

Grace doesn't want to tell her parents and, frankly, I think they would just yell and scream and not understand what's really going on. At this point, I don't know what to do. The person who's supplying my granddaughter is someone who is always around. I refuse to have that other girl in my home, but I can't tell Grace's parents why. What should I do? -- IN A FIX IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR IN A FIX: You're correct that this is serious, and something does have to be done. Alcohol and weed are not the solutions to your granddaughter's problem. Self-medicating won't fix what's wrong and could make her problems worse.

Grace needs to be evaluated and diagnosed by a physician. The way to ensure that it happens is to talk to her parents about the fact that you're worried about her. If you make clear that Grace is getting stoned to "feel better" and not partying, they may be less inclined to react with anger.

DEAR ABBY: My 25-year-old grandson has a problem, and we don't know where to turn.

Through student loans he has managed to get degrees in chemical engineering and biology with good grades. The problem is, he can't interview. He freezes up and is afraid to face the interviewer. This means he is unemployable.

He has no assets or income and lives with his parents. His father is disabled and hasn't worked in years. Can you recommend any organizations, doctors or medications that can help him? -- HOPEFUL IN MICHIGAN

DEAR HOPEFUL: Your grandson needs to discuss his problem with a psychotherapist who can help him overcome his disabling insecurity and perhaps prescribe a medication for his anxiety. There is a cure for his problem, and this is the quickest way to find it.

DEAR ABBY: My 22-year-old daughter and her two young children live with me. She doesn't work, which is fine. I don't mind supporting her because I'd rather have the kids see their mom.

I spent most of my life as a single mom, working long hours and not seeing my kids. My work has finally paid off, and I'm at a point where, while not rich, I can support my daughter and grandbabies.

The problem is the baby daddy. He has a history of drug abuse, theft and jail time. He works only part-time jobs, which he loses monthly. He gives my daughter nothing and treats her as if she owes him.

I don't want to support him, but he has moved in and won't leave my house. I have told him to go, that he's welcome to visit the kids, but he ignores me. It's like talking to a wall. He won't even acknowledge that I told him to leave. He acts like he's king of the castle when it's my home! I can't take it anymore. I pay all the bills.

I told my daughter, and she ignores me as well. My oldest son has offered to talk to them for me. I don't want to lose my grandbabies. They are my purpose in life. Please help. -- FURIOUS IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR FURIOUS: Part of your problem may be the degree to which you enable your daughter. You won't be around forever. She needs to learn to be independent so she can support herself and those children. Clearly, Baby Daddy isn't man enough to be of any assistance.

If he has lived with you for a while, you may need a lawyer to get him out. According to Los Angeles attorney Lee Dresie: "You can get rid of the freeloader by giving him a 30-day 'notice to leave' in writing. It should say, 'You have 30 days to leave my home. If you don't, I will bring an action to evict you.' If he still refuses to go, consult an attorney who specializes in eviction law."

This is Abby again: Be sure you have a witness present when the notice is given so Baby Daddy can't deny receiving it. Your son could be that witness, and yes, he should be asked to lead the discussion on how to resolve this situation.

It is also troubling that the daughter for whom you provide food and shelter is ignoring you. You're treated this way because you don't assert yourself. Please do it before Baby Daddy impregnates her again and you have four people to support.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 27 and have an issue that has bothered me for most of my life. I have overly hot/sweaty hands and feet. When I was dating women, they wouldn't want to hold my hand, which bothered me a lot. Also, my friends sometimes make fun of me for it.

I am entering a profession that will require lots of handshaking with potential clients. This will be an issue for me because I don't want to make a bad impression. Do you have any suggestions? -- SWEATY IN NORTH DAKOTA

DEAR SWEATY: Yes! There is help for your problem, and the way to get it is to talk with a dermatologist. There is a product that can curb the excessive sweating (hyperhidrosis), but a doctor must prescribe it for you. Botox injections could also help, but they should be administered by a physician. There is also a machine used to treat this condition. The dermatologist can help you decide which solution would be the best for you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have two wonderful sons who joined our family through adoption. While we don't broadcast that they are adopted, it sometimes comes up in conversation. When it does, people inevitably ask, "What happened to their 'real' parents?" or, "Why were they given up?"

I know folks are curious, but these comments are hurtful. The details of my sons' lives are private, to be shared as they grow in age-appropriate ways. They know they are adopted, but are too young to know the details surrounding their lives prior to joining our family. I do not want to have an in-depth conversation with every person who asks a nosy question. These questions always seem to come up when the kids are around and I feel unprepared to answer them.

Do you have any suggestions for a witty and confident response that can shut down these questions? I don't want my boys to be ashamed that they were adopted, but I also don't want the details out there for public consumption. -- ADOPTED MOM IN INDY

DEAR ADOPTED MOM: That someone would be so insensitive as to pose those questions in front of the children is disconcerting. While I can't think of a "witty" response that would deter the questioner, I can think of one that would be effective. Look the person in the eye, smile and say, "Oh, that's a long story, but look at what beautiful sons I have. I feel truly blessed."

DEAR ABBY: My parents died when I was a teenager. In the years since I have noticed strange things. While I don't find pennies, I do often see streetlights turn off right before I drive under them. I drive a lot at night and in the early morning because I work graveyard shifts, and it seems to happen almost every day when I go to work or come home.

I guess it could be coincidental. But a friend suggested years ago that it's my parents letting me know they're watching over me. I want to believe, yet I feel skeptical at the same time. Have you ever heard of anything like it? -- LIGHTS OUT IN FEDERAL WAY, WASH.

DEAR LIGHTS OUT: The only time I have heard of anything like what you're experiencing has been when I happened to change channels and come upon a television show about the paranormal. More important than what I believe is what you choose to believe. If the reassurance that your parents are watching over you brings you comfort, then I am all for it.

DEAR ABBY: This idea may appeal to the parents of young children: Celebrate "half-birthdays." (The concept is derived from the "Half-Birthday Song" in "Alice in Wonderland.")

A year to a young child is a long time. In addition to recognizing the joy that he/she was born, it's a start to learning the structure of our calendar. It doesn't have to involve a big party or gifts, just a special activity day with a parent. Our family has observed half-birthdays for 45 years and have found it to be a worthwhile tradition. -- FUN MOM

DEAR FUN MOM: The title of the song you mentioned is actually "The UNbirthday Song," but I'm in favor of anything that will bring parents and children closer. If the household is headed by a single working parent, then I'll bet a grandparent would be delighted for the chance to celebrate that special occasion.