DEAR ABBY: I have been a lifeguard for more than 30 years, and I continually see parents and other adults putting children in harm's way. Would you please remind your readers that they need to be vigilant around water? A drowning is nothing like they show in the movies.

As you take your family to your favorite swimming hole this summer, please be careful. If your child isn't a competent swimmer, never allow him or her to go beyond arm's reach. Never exceed the ratio of two nonswimmers to one adult. If possible, stay where the child can touch the bottom.

If your children can swim and you allow them to go into the pool, lake, ocean without you -- always watch them! Yes, lifeguards are observing the swimmers -- but no one on this planet will watch your child with the same vigilance that you will.

So put down the book, the e-reader, the tablet, the cellphone and actively watch. If you're chatting with friends, don't look at them; watch your child. It can take as few as 10 to 20 seconds for a person to get into trouble and slip without a sound beneath the surface. I guarantee you: Your parent-to-child ratio is lower than that of any lifeguard-to-swimmer. -- LIFEGUARD JOHN IN AUBURN, WASH.

DEAR LIFEGUARD JOHN: Your message is important and timely. Every year we read about families basking in the sun near water, and children who have lost their lives because the person who was supposed to be watching them became momentarily distracted. I agree the best way to protect against tragedies like this is unremitting vigilance. Thanks for giving me a chance to say it again.

DEAR ABBY: I have a brother-in-law whom I love dearly who lives out of state and stays in our guest room frequently. I try hard to be a thoughtful hostess. When he comes, we spend the first 45 minutes rearranging the guest room furniture because he likes the bed to face west. Currently, it faces north, as do the nightstands and the dresser.

I accommodate him, but frankly, it's getting very old. Am I being nasty to want our furniture arranged the way we're comfortable? Or must I allow him to rearrange it the way he wants it? He is here for only 24 hours and then leaves. -- GOOD HOSTESS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HOSTESS: Your brother-in-law may be a frustrated interior decorator, or want the room to be the way he sleeps at home. A good hostess tries to accommodate the needs of her guests; however, if the furniture in your house has been moved, your brother-in-law should put it back the way it was before he leaves.

DEAR ABBY: Do you or your readers think it's acceptable for a father to ask his 21-year-old college student son whether he and his girlfriend of one year are sexually active? This is his first girlfriend.

I am his mother, and I say it's none of our business. My husband says it's a reasonable question; he just wants to give him fatherly advice -- like "be careful." -- MOM IN COLORADO

DEAR MOM: Would you still say it's none of your business if your son made his first girlfriend pregnant? I would, however, caution your husband to be more tactful about how he approaches the subject because a blunt question like the one he's contemplating could be off-putting. If he has birth control information he wants to impart, a better way to approach it would be to raise the subject without putting his son on the spot.

DEAR ABBY: I travel a lot in my work with animal protection. Often I'll encounter dogs and cats in distress as soon as I reach the airport. Distracted by their own thoughts, their owners seldom realize they're upsetting the pets they're carrying through the terminal.

Animal carriers are carelessly swung to and fro, banged against counters, chairs and onto the floor. Cat or dog shoulder bags are dangled at angles that make it impossible for the animal inside to balance. These poor pets can be confused, dizzy and suffer from motion sickness before the flight even takes off.

Traveling is stressful enough for animals. So please, everyone -- if you fly with an animal companion, keep it foremost in your thoughts. Use a sturdy, well-ventilated carrier, preferably one with wheels, that's designed for animals and to fit under your seat. And please, keep the carrier upright and steady. -- ANIMAL LOVER IN WASHINGTON, D.C.

DEAR ANIMAL LOVER: Thank you for the heads up. In case someone's pet might have other issues while traveling, it's always a good idea to talk about it with a veterinarian before embarking. (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 19-year-old guy and for as long as I can remember my parents have yelled at me. It lasts for hours at a time at night after they come home from work almost every day. It's never about me doing something bad, but how I never do anything up to their expectations.

I don't know if they're right or wrong, but it makes me depressed and I have been thinking about suicide. I have never been able to have an opinion of my own because as soon as I had one my parents would yell at me all over again and call me "stupid and retarded."

I cry myself to sleep at night hoping God will put me to sleep forever. Please tell me what to do. -- JUSTIN IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR JUSTIN: Verbal abuse -- which is what you are describing -- can be every bit as destructive as physical abuse. Perhaps it's time to consider moving out. With the constant verbal battering you're receiving, it's no wonder you're depressed.

Harming yourself is not the answer to your problem. Because you have reached the point of wanting to hurt yourself, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. The number is 800-784-2433. A counselor there can direct you to the help you need. You may have to build your self-esteem from the ground up, but the effort will be well worth it. My thoughts are with you.

DEAR ABBY: A few months ago my mother joined Facebook and I readily accepted her friend request. I'm a 30-something IT specialist, but Mom is new to the Internet.

There are times I have gone online and seen posts in which my mother is arguing with my friends about their lifestyles. I have friends and business contacts from all over the world, and their backgrounds are highly varied as are their belief and value systems.

I have told Mom in private and public discussions that she owes someone an apology, but she shrugs it off.

Am I wrong for asking her to respect my friends, and would you suggest I "unfriend" my mother until she learns proper Internet etiquette? -- DIGITAL FAMILY MAN

DEAR FAMILY MAN: Because what your mother is doing could negatively affect your business, you should do exactly that. And quickly!

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend, "Allison," and I have been in a relationship for two years. We met in our sophomore year of high school and have been dating ever since. We have an incredible relationship.

We were virgins when we started dating, but decided we would lose our virginity to each other. We have always used birth control pills and condoms to ensure we wouldn't be having any children.

Earlier this month we had a pregnancy scare. Allison had failed to tell me she stopped taking her birth control pills three months ago. My trust was broken, but most of all I was scared she might be pregnant. It turned out she wasn't, but because of the incident I have been skeptical about making love to her. She says this frustrates her, but I have told her the reason I won't is because she refuses to take the pill.

Abby, we are way too young to have a child and are totally unprepared. I'd still like to be intimate with Allison, but I'm afraid. What should I do? -- BETRAYED IN BANGOR, MAINE

DEAR BETRAYED: You appear to be an intelligent and responsible young man. The first thing you should do is thank your higher power that there wasn't an "accident" and your girlfriend didn't become pregnant.

The next thing you should do is find out why Allison would stop taking her birth control pills without telling you. If there was a medical reason, there are other methods she could have used in their place. (If you are planning to attend college, she may have been thinking a baby would "anchor" you to her.)

And last, recognize that if you resume having sex with her -- which I emphatically don't recommend -- that you won't be able to trust her as far as birth control is concerned, and you will be the one totally responsible for preventing a pregnancy.

The saying, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me," applies here.

DEAR ABBY: I would like your opinion on the relatively new craze of trashing the wedding dress. I think it's a deplorable waste. I'm sorry I kept mine and watched it yellow over the years, but I haven't heard a reasonable argument for destroying the gown.

Some women say if they have a daughter, she wouldn't want a dated dress. But if the dress is currently in style, I'm sure some less fortunate girl would love to have it. Rather than trash it, I say why not donate the dress or sell it and send the money to a woman's charity? -- SENSIBLE IN THE SUNSHINE STATE

DEAR SENSIBLE: The only rational reason I can think of for "trashing" a wedding dress would be if the marriage was a disaster and the bride was doing it as a way of venting her anger. I can't speak for all young women, but I am willing to bet that many would be thrilled to wear the gown their mother wore. And for those who aren't interested or can't fit into it, your idea of recycling is compassionate, generous and sensible.

DEAR ABBY: My husband refuses to cover his mouth when he sneezes. He thinks that by "stifling" his sneeze he doesn't expel any particles. Besides being unhealthy, I feel it is gross for the rest of us. Is it possible to sneeze and not spray? -- DUCKING FOR SHELTER IN OHIO

DEAR DUCKING: No. Some sneezes can travel up to a distance of 5 feet, expelling thousands of droplets into the air and onto surfaces. "Stifle" or not, your husband should cover his mouth.