DEAR ABBY: I was a single mom for most of my teenagers' lives. We have never been financially stable, and lately things have hit an all-time low.

I am prone to bouts of depression. I remarried last year, and my husband unfortunately does not understand or tolerate the depressions. He feels I should just "get over" things. He also doesn't believe in anti-depressants. It got so bad I attempted suicide last weekend.

My husband said my doing that was abusive to him. Had the pills I took not made me throw up, I would have happily waited to die.

There are six people on my medical aid, and the available funds are more than half used up. For me to see a psychiatrist will take a huge chunk out of it. I am caught between a rock and a hard place. If I do it, my family will miss out on medical care should the need arise later in the year. Is it selfish to try to hang onto what is left of my sanity? -- ON THE EDGE IN JOHANNESBURG, SOUTH AFRICA

DEAR ON THE EDGE: That your husband chooses not to recognize that depression is an illness -- one that's treatable -- is a reflection of his ignorance. That he would tell you your attempted suicide was abusive to him suggests that he is more concerned with himself than he is with you.

You have teenage children who need their mother. Trying to hang onto what's left of your sanity and get the medications you need isn't selfish -- it's sound thinking. If not for your sake, please seek help now for theirs.

DEAR ABBY: I'm pregnant with my first child and live 800 miles from my parents, who are retired. We have a good relationship now, but growing up I had major emotional issues my parents didn't handle well. Years of therapy in my early adulthood helped to fix them.

My parents have just told me they have been approved to be foster parents and will be caring for an emotionally disturbed teenager soon. While I know I should be happy for them, I'm extremely upset. I feel they were ill-equipped to handle my emotional issues growing up, and they should be more concerned with their grandchildren in retirement than taking in strangers.

When I heard the news, I tried my best to sound supportive, but they could tell I was upset. How can I handle these feelings? Would it be beneficial to tell them how I feel? -- MOMMY-TO-BE IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR MOMMY-TO-BE: A way to handle your feelings would be to view the situation from the perspective of an adult, not a jealous child. That your parents will foster this teenager doesn't mean they will love their grandchildren any less.

On some level they may be trying to make up for the mistakes they made in your upbringing. Because they were ill-equipped to recognize your emotional problems does not mean they won't be wiser now. I suggest you wait to discuss this with them until you're feeling less resentful.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 12-year-old girl trying to live a simple life. I read your column every day. I have one small question. I really wanna know why girls don't like each other that much. Many girls at my school are really mean. I wish I knew the answer to why girls are like that. Do you know why? -- CONFUSED

DEAR CONFUSED: Girls your age are mean to other girls for a variety of reasons. Some o£ them may be acting out because they are having problems at home. They may do it because they are jealous or to make themselves feel more important (a power trip).

Girls like this have never been taught to respect the feelings of others. They behave this way because they haven't matured enough to have developed empathy, an ability to be sensitive to the feelings of those they are hurting.

DEAR ABBY: I have read you for years, and I must take issue with your answer to "Needs the Right Words" (March 17). He asked about his son and his son's half-brother visiting his beach house. (He didn't want the half-brother included.)

While you addressed the writer's needs, and yes, he is entitled to his feelings, I think you should have taken this a step further.

Once you become a father, it is not all about "you" anymore. The 12-year-old boy is now, and forever will be, his son's half-brother. Unless this man wants to distance himself from his son and cause permanent damage to their relationship, he needs to get some therapy so he will be able to think of that boy in a different way and can deal with him in the future. He is not in a "good place" as he stated if seeing this boy causes such an emotional issue. The two boys seem to have a good relationship, and a future with his son will -- and should -- include the half-brother, even if the visits are short ones.

Someday that boy will be a grown man, and he will recognize the kindness shown to him. The boy is not responsible for his mother's behavior and the father needs to realize that. -- DEBORAH IN CHANDLER, ARIZ.

DEAR DEBORAH: You are right. It would have been better for all concerned if I had been harder on the father and more sensitive to the feelings of the boys involved, which many readers pointed out to me:

DEAR ABBY: I almost always agree with your answers, but your answer to that letter was off the mark. It's admirable that his son has such a close relationship with his half-brother, and not allowing the boys to do something they enjoy together for a weekend is wrong. That the writer admits he still has problems with the past is his problem, not the kids'.

Since he admits it brings up feelings he thought he had put behind him, he should get professional help to finally deal with those unresolved issues. Also, if he doesn't want the 12-year-old in his house for one weekend of fun, then he should take his wife away for a romantic weekend and let the boys use the beach house in his absence. It's all about compromise, not the ultimatum. -- BEEN THERE, DONE THAT IN KANSAS

DEAR ABBY: Tell that man to get a psychotherapist! The child isn't responsible for his mother's behavior. The man needs to expand his heart. When he's an old man he will never regret hosting the boy, but he would regret having hurt a child and perhaps alienating his own son in the process. You called that one wrong, Abby! -- LESLIE R., CHAMPAIGN, ILL.

DEAR ABBY: I agree with your advice more often than not, although I suspect we are at opposite ends of the political spectrum. That father needs to grow up and put the feelings of his son and his son's half-brother before his own. It's time people learned once more what it means not to be selfish and think of their own feelings, but the feelings of others. Please reconsider your response. -- PAUL W., JOHNSON CITY, TENN.

DEAR PAUL: I have, and I regret my initial answer.

DEAR ABBY: I have an awful time meeting men. I'm not considered beautiful by any means, so that means meeting any good guys won't happen. I use Craigslist a lot to meet sexual partners. I am so tired of giving up my body for a few minutes of pleasure and then feeling empty on the inside. Please tell me what to do. -- WHERE ARE THE GOOD GUYS?

DEAR WHERE: I'll try, but first let me tell you where the good guys aren't. They are not on Craigslist trolling for sex partners. As my grandfather used to say, "If you're looking for trout, don't go fishing in a herring barrel."

Your problem isn't your looks; it is your extremely low level of self-esteem. It's important that you discuss this with a psychologist who can help you recognize the positive qualities you have to offer, because until you do, you will only repeat these empty, depressing encounters. Please don't wait.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 17-year-old girl who was raised to be polite. When I meet someone, I offer a handshake and a smile and make eye contact. However, I have found that because I'm female, adults -- especially men -- will go in for a hug even when I offer my hand to shake. This is followed by comments like, "You're too sweet to just shake hands," or, "Girls don't shake hands."

I like hugs, but they make me uncomfortable when they're from someone I don't know well, and I find the comments insulting. How do I avoid this awkward moment and respond to the comments? -- TEEN IN NEW YORK

DEAR TEEN: The next time someone lunges forward, take a step back and say, "I prefer to shake hands!" Say it with a smile and don't be confrontational, but do defend your personal space if you feel it is being invaded. It is not impolite to do so.

DEAR ABBY: I'm single, have no kids and I'm about to turn 62. I own my own home and have no debts. After years of earning a modest but steady income and watching my expenses, I have saved enough and I am eligible for good retirement benefits. So what's my problem?

Friends and family insist I'm crazy to leave a job at which I could work for another five to 10 years. I know retirement is practical for me because I have gotten professional financial planning advice. There are many things I really want to do -- classes, hobbies, volunteer work and travel before I'm too old.

My friends need to work to support their extravagant lifestyles, lavish vacations, expensive restaurants, plus their new cars, clothing and electronics. I did things my way and can afford to retire now, so why can't my friends keep their mouths shut and let me enjoy what I have worked for? -- READY TO RETIRE

DEAR READY: They may be jealous, or they may be genuinely concerned about you. Not knowing them, I can't answer for them. I can, however, suggest this: Before quitting your job and the steady, modest income it provides, talk with another financial planner and get a second opinion. You'd do that with a doctor if you had a serious question about your physical health, and I'm recommending you do it because this decision will affect your financial health for the rest of your life. If you wait a few more years, you won't be over the hill, and you will have even more money to enjoy in your retirement.