DEAR ABBY: I'm 15 and have been dating this guy for two weeks. I have known him for three years. I really like him and he makes me happy.

He has already told me he loves me, but I don't say it back because I'm not going to say it until I'm absolutely sure I do. I know it bothers him, but Abby, am I right for not saying it back? Please answer fast because I need your help. -- TEEN IN NEW YORK

DEAR TEEN: You are absolutely right. Although you have known this young man for three years, now that you are dating, the character of your relationship has changed. If he seems hurt that you're not saying "I love you" back, just tell him you need time because this is all new to you. It's truthful.

DEAR ABBY: I finished college a year ago and officially moved out of my parents' house. I then moved across the country for a job.

For the past three months I have been dating this great guy. I never dated as a teenager, and while I talk to my parents frequently on the phone, I have yet to mention him because I'm shy about it and don't know how they would react to me dating.

I don't want the relationship to go on for months and not tell them because I feel like they will treat it as if I'm a teenager dating for the first time. This is a serious adult relationship and not like a teen's first boyfriend. How do I tell them? -- ADULT RELATIONSHIP IN ARIZONA

DEAR ADULT: While you're not experienced, you're no teenager. Your parents can minimize the importance of your relationship only if you allow them to. Granted, you are a late bloomer -- but you are also an adult. The longer you keep this a secret, the harder it will be for you to open up.

One way to introduce the subject would be to start saying "we" when you talk about where you're going and what you're doing. If they ask who the "we" is, you can then tell them you met a man named "John" a short while ago, that he seems nice, that you are seeing him, etc. Be prepared for questions and don't be defensive. They should be overjoyed at the news you are dating.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 13 and read your column every day. My parents fight a lot. When they fight, I try to get in between them and keep it down. It's not very effective, though. I don't want their fighting to leak out. Therapy doesn't seem possible.

Do you have some tips to keep them from fighting with each other? I'm an only child and don't have any relatives who live nearby. -- THE REFEREE

DEAR REFEREE: Parents fight for many reasons, none of them having to do with you. The problems could be lack of money, job stress or something in their relationship with each other that isn't working.

If it were possible for you to fix their marriage, I would advise you how to do it, but the only people who can do that are your parents themselves -- if they are willing. If their fighting escalates to violence, rather than put yourself in the middle, you should call the police.

DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced for almost 15 years. In that time, my ex-husband has been self-employed and works out of his home. He rarely leaves his house, and I think he suffers from depression.

At a school honors event for our daughter for which most of the attendees dressed for the occasion, he arrived in dirty shorts and a T-shirt. I sat next to him to be polite, until I realized he also smelled awful. When I tried to excuse myself saying I needed a "better seat for my camera," he got up, too! It was an unpleasant two hours. I felt bad for the others in our vicinity.

I have tried to suggest that he may suffer from depression in the past, but he denies it. Is there anything I can say that won't be resented (with him possibly showing up even more disheveled the next time just out of spite)? -- UNPLEASANT SITUATION, GETTYSBURG, PA.

DEAR UNPLEASANT SITUATION: While you may have ended your marriage 15 years ago, it doesn't appear you have truly divorced yourself from your ex. Rather than having pussy-footed around the reason you wanted to change your seat, you should have told him it was because he smelled like a goat and showed he lacked enough respect for those around him and his daughter to shower and put on clean clothes.

He may -- or may not -- suffer from depression. Because he denies it, there is no way you can force him into treatment. You are no longer responsible for his attire or his welfare.

Because you're concerned that he may show up looking more disheveled "out of spite," you have my permission to distance yourself if it happens. And if your daughter is embarrassed by his attire, she has every right to talk to her father about it.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a small-business owner. I have an educational supply and toy store. Business has been pretty good, even through the hard times.

My problem is my customers' children are about to put me out of business. They are out of control. They climb on shelving, open products, tear things apart and throw screaming tantrums.

Their parents let them run through the store like it's a playground. I have signs posted at the entrance and around the store reminding parents to attend to their children.

We have lost a lot of inventory due to these brats, and my time is consumed trying to keep them in line instead of working with my customers. I don't go to their homes and wreck them. I wish they'd show the same respect for my business. Thanks for any advice you can offer. -- HAD IT WITH OVERINDULGED KIDS

DEAR HAD IT: If possible, designate a small area of your store where kids can go to play while their parents are shopping. Also, post a sign at the cash register that reads: "Customers Will Be Charged for Broken or Damaged Items."

The problem you are experiencing is one that is shared by many other retailers. If any of them are reading this column, I'd love to know how they resolved this problem.

DEAR ABBY: Since my mother passed away, I feel awkward when my parents' anniversary comes up. I don't want to ignore this important date for my father (we are very close), but I don't feel saying "Happy Anniversary" is appropriate either. What do you suggest? -- REMEMBERING IN ORANGE COUNTY, CALIF.

DEAR REMEMBERING: Your father already knows what the date means. Pick up the phone, say, "Dad, I'm thinking about you and I love you," and if he lives close by, invite him to dinner if he doesn't have plans.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has moved our motor home into our driveway and lets our 8-year-old grandson and the neighborhood boys play inside without supervision. I am furious about it because they can -- and often do -- mess up a whole lot of stuff, and worse, it leaves us open for a lawsuit if anyone gets hurt!

I can't convince him that it's not OK to let the boys play inside. Actually, I think he knows it, but our grandson only has to whine or cry and my husband folds. Can you help me get through to him? -- CONCERNED GRANDMA IN TEXAS

DEAR CONCERNED GRANDMA: I probably can't do much better than you, but I'm willing to bet that your family lawyer and your insurance agent can. Notify them about what's going on, and let them tell your husband what the consequences will be if anything unforeseen should happen.

DEAR ABBY: I have started working at a cafe. My best friend works there, and she helped me get the job. I work with her often, and when I ask questions, she keeps doing stuff for me and won't let me learn. I have to learn by doing.

When I go home, I feel like I'm not good at it, and I start missing my co-workers from my old job. I miss my old work because we had so much fun and always goofed around.

I don't know how to enjoy my new job, and I get all quiet around my friend because she obviously realizes when I'm not doing something right. How do I keep up a good attitude or tell her she's driving me crazy? -- SAD GIRL IN UTAH

DEAR SAD GIRL: A way to change your attitude would be to stop asking your friend to coach you. People have different learning styles. Obviously, yours is not the same as your friend's. The person who should be teaching you is your boss. Because new routines take practice to master, have him or her show you the ropes so you can mirror what that person is doing.

DEAR READERS: After I printed the letter from "Can't Believe It Down South" (May 13), about the grandfather who is insisting that his granddaughter's Greek fiance change his last name "because it is too long and impossible to pronounce," I loved what you had to say. Some of your comments made me laugh, so I'm sharing them with you:

DEAR ABBY: I saw the letter from "Can't Believe It," and I have just the response for him:

"Dear Grandpa: Don't worry. With the wedding eight weeks away, you will have plenty of time to learn to say 'Mrs. Papageorgiou.'

"By the way, we have decided on the reception menu: spanakotyropita, tsipouradika and kolokythoanthoi, all washed down with ouzomezedhes." -- GET YOUR OWN NAME

DEAR ABBY: Many years ago, my cousin was a rabid Burt Reynolds fan. Her friend, a flight attendant, was on the same plane as Burt, so she asked him for an autographed photo for my cousin. Burt spelled her name wrong, and when my cousin saw it, she said, "Oh, well. I don't mind changing the spelling for HIM!" -- "ABBDICT" IN GERMANY

DEAR ABBY: Dang! That granddad sure is a pain in the Acropolis. -- GENE OF AQUITAINE