DEAR ABBY: My husband has moved our motor home into our driveway and lets our 8-year-old grandson and the neighborhood boys play inside without supervision. I am furious about it because they can -- and often do -- mess up a whole lot of stuff, and worse, it leaves us open for a lawsuit if anyone gets hurt!

I can't convince him that it's not OK to let the boys play inside. Actually, I think he knows it, but our grandson only has to whine or cry and my husband folds. Can you help me get through to him? -- CONCERNED GRANDMA IN TEXAS

DEAR CONCERNED GRANDMA: I probably can't do much better than you, but I'm willing to bet that your family lawyer and your insurance agent can. Notify them about what's going on, and let them tell your husband what the consequences will be if anything unforeseen should happen.

DEAR ABBY: I have started working at a cafe. My best friend works there, and she helped me get the job. I work with her often, and when I ask questions, she keeps doing stuff for me and won't let me learn. I have to learn by doing.

When I go home, I feel like I'm not good at it, and I start missing my co-workers from my old job. I miss my old work because we had so much fun and always goofed around.

I don't know how to enjoy my new job, and I get all quiet around my friend because she obviously realizes when I'm not doing something right. How do I keep up a good attitude or tell her she's driving me crazy? -- SAD GIRL IN UTAH

DEAR SAD GIRL: A way to change your attitude would be to stop asking your friend to coach you. People have different learning styles. Obviously, yours is not the same as your friend's. The person who should be teaching you is your boss. Because new routines take practice to master, have him or her show you the ropes so you can mirror what that person is doing.

DEAR ABBY: President John F. Kennedy proclaimed the ringing of the bells nationwide on Independence Day, July 4, 1963, with the words, "Let's ring freedom bells!" I was a White House special projects aide at the time, and I recall vividly how exciting it was when bells rang throughout the nation.

I'm writing now to ask your help in getting the American people to ring bells again on this Fourth of July, and each Fourth every year from now on.

As a grateful American, I hope to resurrect this proud tradition. Let us tune in with each other and our history by ringing bells at 2 p.m. this July 4 in honor of the 237th anniversary of our independence. Encourage churches and civic buildings with bells to ring them. It doesn't cost any money to do it.

The first groups to support this national effort include baseball teams, the National Cartoonists Society, and the Iron Workers, Firefighters and Sheet Metal Workers unions along with other AFL-CIO affiliates.

As we celebrate our freedom, let us also honor the lives of those who sacrificed theirs for our precious liberty. Your millions of readers can help "let freedom ring." -- CARMELLA LaSPADA, FOUNDER, NO GREATER LOVE

DEAR CARMELLA: I'm pleased to join you in this national effort. Readers, engraved on the Liberty Bell are the words, "Proclaim LIBERTY throughout all the Land unto all the inhabitants thereof." So let's do it. Shake any bell you happen to have. Our freedom is something to celebrate!

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a married man for more than a year. He's my boss. "Gerry" has two kids with his wife and two more outside the marriage.

I have never been the type to date someone else's man, nor do I approve of it. I know that what I'm doing is wrong, but at times it just feels so right. We do everything together and enjoy each other's company.

Is it possible for him to be in love with us both? Why do men cheat? -- THE OTHER WOMAN IN ALABAMA

DEAR OTHER WOMAN: What you're doing with your boss may "feel" right, but as you clearly stated, it is wrong. It isn't fair to his wife, or to you or his children. While the two of you are doing "everything" together, he is cheating all four of his children of time that should be spent being a parent to them.

As to whether this man is in love with you and his wife, frankly I doubt it. He appears to be more in love with himself. Men cheat for a variety of reasons, and more often than not, it's more about the cheater than the spouse. Consider that fact carefully before wasting any more precious years with him, because you will never get them back.

DEAR ABBY: My husband needed a car to replace the old one, so he insisted on a manual transmission, which I don't know how to drive. Do you think that's fair?

He said, "Oh, you can learn." I am 58 and nervous, and I have heard it said that many a clutch got burned out by "learning." I don't want to do that. What do you say? -- SHIRLEY IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR SHIRLEY: While I understand your concern about a stick shift, your husband has told you you can learn to use one. I recommend that you learn by driving his car.

While many a gear may have been stripped by a novice driver, some have not. Think of it this way: You may be a natural. And if you're not -- well, he asked for it.

DEAR ABBY: I have written to you before, and your advice served me well. I have another problem now, and I don't know what to do about it.

I am a childless man, but I have owned my dog for 12 years. I work from home and we are together constantly. Honestly, Abby, he is the joy of my life.

My problem is I live in constant fear of losing him. I know it will break my heart, and I'm not sure I can deal with it. At night, when I rub his belly at bedtime and see the love in his eyes, I can't sleep for thinking about the day when he will no longer be with me.

I know he's "just a dog," but he has been my kid for all this time. Do you have any advice for me? -- AFRAID OF THE LOSS

DEAR AFRAID: I understand your feelings. I doubt there is any pet owner who hasn't had one special departed pet who lives on forever in his or her heart.

My advice to you is to not spoil one more precious second you have with your dog by worrying about what will eventually happen. You knew going in that your dog would have a certain life span. That's the "deal" we make when we become animal guardians.

When the time comes, talk to your veterinarian about support groups in which you can share your feelings. And don't be surprised when you find out you are one of many.

DEAR ABBY: I have this co-worker, "Sam," who is no longer performing 100 percent at work. It started shortly after he moved out of town and he was forced to start commuting. Sam complains a lot about the commute because he doesn't allow enough time for it and he ends up being late to work.

Lately I have noticed that he has also started to slack off on his daily tasks. He'll sit down, prepare to do something, then get up and disappear for 20 to 25 minutes. He'll come back for a few minutes, then disappear again. I don't know where he's going. All I know is we generally have to pick up the slack when he gets to the end of his shift and realizes he hasn't accomplished everything.

Is this something I should report to my managers? I feel it's unfair that Sam gets paid for the same amount of time that I do, while I'm doing my work at full capacity and he's putting in less than half. -- FRUSTRATED CO-WORKER IN ILLINOIS

DEAR FRUSTRATED: If it won't have a negative impact on your job ratings, you and the others on your shift should stop picking up the slack for Sam. It will then become apparent to your managers that he's not doing his share, and he will cook his own goose.

DEAR ABBY: When I was 11, I lived with my dad and stepmom. My 14-year-old brother lived with our grandparents in another town, but they would visit every couple of months.

After one visit, as they were leaving, my grandmother said, "Come here and give your brother a kiss and tell him you love him." My brother and I looked at each other and, in typical kid fashion, said, "YUCK!!"

Abby, I never saw my brother again. He died the next week from a congenital brain aneurism.

It taught me a lesson. The words we say to our loved ones should be sweet, because they may be the last words from us they will ever hear. My brother died 55 years ago and I miss him still. -- STILL MISSING HIM

DEAR STILL MISSING HIM: Please accept my sympathy for your loss. The life lesson you learned from your brother's untimely death was an important one. I am sorry it is one you had to learn at such a tender age.