DEAR ABBY: President John F. Kennedy proclaimed the ringing of the bells nationwide on Independence Day, July 4, 1963, with the words, "Let's ring freedom bells!" I was a White House special projects aide at the time, and I recall vividly how exciting it was when bells rang throughout the nation.

I'm writing now to ask your help in getting the American people to ring bells again on this Fourth of July, and each Fourth every year from now on.

As a grateful American, I hope to resurrect this proud tradition. Let us tune in with each other and our history by ringing bells at 2 p.m. this July 4 in honor of the 237th anniversary of our independence. Encourage churches and civic buildings with bells to ring them. It doesn't cost any money to do it.

The first groups to support this national effort include baseball teams, the National Cartoonists Society, and the Iron Workers, Firefighters and Sheet Metal Workers unions along with other AFL-CIO affiliates.

As we celebrate our freedom, let us also honor the lives of those who sacrificed theirs for our precious liberty. Your millions of readers can help "let freedom ring." -- CARMELLA LaSPADA, FOUNDER, NO GREATER LOVE

DEAR CARMELLA: I'm pleased to join you in this national effort. Readers, engraved on the Liberty Bell are the words, "Proclaim LIBERTY throughout all the Land unto all the inhabitants thereof." So let's do it. Shake any bell you happen to have. Our freedom is something to celebrate!

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a married man for more than a year. He's my boss. "Gerry" has two kids with his wife and two more outside the marriage.

I have never been the type to date someone else's man, nor do I approve of it. I know that what I'm doing is wrong, but at times it just feels so right. We do everything together and enjoy each other's company.

Is it possible for him to be in love with us both? Why do men cheat? -- THE OTHER WOMAN IN ALABAMA

DEAR OTHER WOMAN: What you're doing with your boss may "feel" right, but as you clearly stated, it is wrong. It isn't fair to his wife, or to you or his children. While the two of you are doing "everything" together, he is cheating all four of his children of time that should be spent being a parent to them.

As to whether this man is in love with you and his wife, frankly I doubt it. He appears to be more in love with himself. Men cheat for a variety of reasons, and more often than not, it's more about the cheater than the spouse. Consider that fact carefully before wasting any more precious years with him, because you will never get them back.

DEAR ABBY: My husband needed a car to replace the old one, so he insisted on a manual transmission, which I don't know how to drive. Do you think that's fair?

He said, "Oh, you can learn." I am 58 and nervous, and I have heard it said that many a clutch got burned out by "learning." I don't want to do that. What do you say? -- SHIRLEY IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR SHIRLEY: While I understand your concern about a stick shift, your husband has told you you can learn to use one. I recommend that you learn by driving his car.

While many a gear may have been stripped by a novice driver, some have not. Think of it this way: You may be a natural. And if you're not -- well, he asked for it.

DEAR ABBY: I have written to you before, and your advice served me well. I have another problem now, and I don't know what to do about it.

I am a childless man, but I have owned my dog for 12 years. I work from home and we are together constantly. Honestly, Abby, he is the joy of my life.

My problem is I live in constant fear of losing him. I know it will break my heart, and I'm not sure I can deal with it. At night, when I rub his belly at bedtime and see the love in his eyes, I can't sleep for thinking about the day when he will no longer be with me.

I know he's "just a dog," but he has been my kid for all this time. Do you have any advice for me? -- AFRAID OF THE LOSS

DEAR AFRAID: I understand your feelings. I doubt there is any pet owner who hasn't had one special departed pet who lives on forever in his or her heart.

My advice to you is to not spoil one more precious second you have with your dog by worrying about what will eventually happen. You knew going in that your dog would have a certain life span. That's the "deal" we make when we become animal guardians.

When the time comes, talk to your veterinarian about support groups in which you can share your feelings. And don't be surprised when you find out you are one of many.

DEAR ABBY: I have this co-worker, "Sam," who is no longer performing 100 percent at work. It started shortly after he moved out of town and he was forced to start commuting. Sam complains a lot about the commute because he doesn't allow enough time for it and he ends up being late to work.

Lately I have noticed that he has also started to slack off on his daily tasks. He'll sit down, prepare to do something, then get up and disappear for 20 to 25 minutes. He'll come back for a few minutes, then disappear again. I don't know where he's going. All I know is we generally have to pick up the slack when he gets to the end of his shift and realizes he hasn't accomplished everything.

Is this something I should report to my managers? I feel it's unfair that Sam gets paid for the same amount of time that I do, while I'm doing my work at full capacity and he's putting in less than half. -- FRUSTRATED CO-WORKER IN ILLINOIS

DEAR FRUSTRATED: If it won't have a negative impact on your job ratings, you and the others on your shift should stop picking up the slack for Sam. It will then become apparent to your managers that he's not doing his share, and he will cook his own goose.

DEAR ABBY: When I was 11, I lived with my dad and stepmom. My 14-year-old brother lived with our grandparents in another town, but they would visit every couple of months.

After one visit, as they were leaving, my grandmother said, "Come here and give your brother a kiss and tell him you love him." My brother and I looked at each other and, in typical kid fashion, said, "YUCK!!"

Abby, I never saw my brother again. He died the next week from a congenital brain aneurism.

It taught me a lesson. The words we say to our loved ones should be sweet, because they may be the last words from us they will ever hear. My brother died 55 years ago and I miss him still. -- STILL MISSING HIM

DEAR STILL MISSING HIM: Please accept my sympathy for your loss. The life lesson you learned from your brother's untimely death was an important one. I am sorry it is one you had to learn at such a tender age.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I invite our friends for dinner quite often, and invitations are always accepted. Recently, I began to notice that we are never invited to some of their homes for dinner.

I know entertaining isn't for everyone, but they do entertain other people -- just not us. I'm not sure why this is. We would never go empty-handed. If we weren't asked to bring a dessert or an appetizer, we would at least bring a bottle of wine to thank our hosts, and I'd help to clear the dishes and straighten the kitchen when the meal is over.

Have you any thoughts as to why an invitation is never extended to us? -- NOT ON THE "A" LIST

DEAR NOT: The problem may be that the couple is embarrassed that they can't entertain you as lavishly as you have entertained them. Or, they may have never been taught that it is rude to accept people's hospitality and not reciprocate in some way. Because they are friends, you should pose this question to them and ask for an honest answer.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 19 years and this is the third time I have caught my wife cheating. I didn't catch her "in the act" because she disguised it behind "vacations with her girlfriends." What happened was I caught her sending some guy nude pictures of herself and lying about having stayed at a friend's house. (She had spent the night with a guy.)

I have remained in this marriage because I wanted to raise all my kids before separating or divorcing. I am leaving eventually, but want to stay four more years to raise my last son.

Is it immoral to lie and pretend like I want to work it out? I feel this is the best way not to damage my children. -- RESPONSIBLE DAD IN GEORGIA

DEAR DAD: I don't think you should lie. Instead, talk calmly with your wife and tell her that it's clear to you that she isn't satisfied in the marriage or she wouldn't be doing what she has been doing. You might be able to accomplish what you want with your son through a joint custody arrangement -- or full custody, if your wife wishes. That way, she could live her life as she apparently wants to, and so can you.

DEAR ABBY: My next-door neighbor lets her two children, a 6-year-old boy and a 7-year-old girl, run around naked all the time. This includes playing in her front yard and in the street.

I don't want to seem like a prude or cause problems in the neighborhood, but let's face it -- there are perverts everywhere. At what age is it no longer acceptable for children to be nude in public? -- TAKEN ABACK IN MONTANA

DEAR TAKEN ABACK: Children over the age of 3 should not be out in public with no clothes -- and no child should be playing outside that way without supervision. For that matter, clothed or not, for their own safety children should not play in the street.

Your neighbor's lack of attention is irresponsible and inappropriate. If you can't make her see the light, then child protective services should be consulted.