life

Worn American Flags Should Be Disposed of With Respect

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 10th, 2013 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I was wondering if you could print something about how to properly dispose of American flags. I'm a garbage man in northern Illinois, and I am sick of finding American flags in the trash.

Most of my co-workers and I pull them out and properly dispose of them. Do people really not realize what our flag means, and how many men and women have given their lives for what it stands for? -- PATRIOT NAMED DANIEL

DEAR DANIEL: Your letter is timely. I'm sure the people you have described are not being intentionally disrespectful. I suspect the flags are thrown out because of ignorance.

Readers: When an American flag becomes soiled, faded and tattered, there are better ways to dispose of it than tossing it in the garbage. According to the U.S. Flag Code, "When a flag has served its useful purpose, it should be destroyed, preferably by burning."

The pamphlet "Flag Etiquette" published by the American Legion states: "For individual citizens this should be done discreetly, so that the act is not perceived as a protest or desecration."

Many American Legion posts conduct Disposal of Unserviceable Flag ceremonies on June 14, Flag Day, each year. The Boy and Girl Scouts of America also are able to conduct these ceremonies. When you are ready to dispose of yours, contact the local Boy or Girl Scout Council, or wait until the Girl Scout cookie sales start locally and offer the flag to the troop during a sale at a small business.

Holidays & CelebrationsEtiquette & Ethics
life

Scout Out Engagement Rings Before Popping The Question

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 10th, 2013 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 50ish, never-married bachelor with a question about engagement rings. Do you recommend that the man go out and purchase an engagement ring and then present it to the woman when he proposes, or do you think he should propose without a ring and then let her choose the ring she wants? -- OLD BACHELOR IN OHIO

DEAR BACHELOR: When a man is ready to propose, it would be prudent for him to visit a jeweler and ask that some rings -- or stones -- in his price range be set aside. Then he can pop the question, and if the woman says yes, take her to the jeweler to select something she would enjoy wearing. This will prevent an unpleasant and expensive surprise should the lady say no.

Love & DatingMarriage & DivorceEtiquette & Ethics
life

Putting A Departed Relative's Frequent Flyer Miles To Use

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 10th, 2013 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: Your response to "One-Way Ticket's" (5/11) question about his mother's final trip home got me thinking, and I found a loophole they may be able to use. If their mother's air miles can be used by someone else (like her grown kids), she would go as cargo, but her miles would pay for her escort to take her home.

If there are any miles left over after that, they could be donated to various causes, like the Shriners, who sometimes need to get a child flown to another part of the country for treatment. Or the military may have a stranded soldier waiting to go home for the holidays, etc. My oldest flies using my mom's air miles, and I flew my youngest with mine, so if the mother of "One-Way" would like to put her miles to use, this could be helpful. -- FORMER FREQUENT FLIER

DEAR FORMER FREQUENT FLIER: What great ideas! I love the suggestions my readers come up with, and yours are good ones.

DeathFamily & Parenting
life

Family Fumes at Dad Who Helps Himself to Best Parts of Buffet

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 9th, 2013 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I host all of the holiday parties and dinner parties for my family. Whenever I have my parents over, my father insists on helping himself to the top layer of every casserole. He'll scrape all the cheese off the potatoes, the crunchy onion topping off the green bean casserole, etc., leaving just the bare vegetables for everyone else.

I have asked Dad not to do it because it is inconsiderate of the other guests. I can see people are bothered by it, so now they make a beeline to the buffet so they can beat him to it.

Dad got offended when I talked to him about it, but he continues to do it. Mom refuses to get involved, and I have said all I can say. What to do? -- BURNED UP IN ILLINOIS

DEAR BURNED UP: A guest who grabs all the goodies at a dinner party is a hog. Because your father refuses to change his behavior, I will offer a few suggestions: The first is to alter your menu to avoid serving casserole dishes. If that's not possible, make your father his own separate casserole with his name on it, so he can have it all to himself. Or plate the food in the kitchen and stop serving it buffet-style.

Etiquette & Ethics
life

Social Media Addiction Threatens Real-World Relationship

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 9th, 2013 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: Over the past few years, as social media has become more popular, I have noticed a trend among many people. They now favor that form of communication over personal human interaction. This is especially true of my girlfriend of five years.

We have the normal relationship problems I feel could be addressed, but from the moment she gets home from work she's in front of the computer playing Facebook games, posting status updates or messaging "friends." She sits there for hours, lost in her virtual world. We rarely talk anymore, and when we do it turns into an argument because I'm trying to discuss what I see as a serious problem.

The Internet and social media are great tools for bringing worlds together, if they are not abused. But for many people, I think, social media is doing more harm than good. It has depersonalized human contact and has the potential to destroy relationships and isolate individuals.

I'm interested in your opinion and any advice you can give me on helping my girlfriend understand my concerns. -- ALONE IN THE REAL WORLD

DEAR ALONE: People cannot be two places at once. When relationships aren't nurtured, they wither. If this has been going on for an extended period, then it's time you give your girlfriend a wake-up call: You feel abandoned. By spending more time in the virtual world than in the real one, she is neglecting her relationship with you.

Ask her if she would be willing to work on a compromise so that she spends time with you. If she can't do that, and the Internet is giving her everything she needs, then you should find a lady who is willing to give you more of what you need, which is undivided attention.

AddictionLove & Dating
life

Henna Redhead Under No Obligation To Confess True Hair Color

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 9th, 2013 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: If a person compliments me on my hair, am I obliged to reveal that it isn't my natural color? I am a henna redhead, and it looks very natural, but my friend who is a natural redhead says I have to fess up. She will even tell people "for me" that my color is "fake." What should I do? -- HENNA REDHEAD IN NEW YORK

DEAR HENNA REDHEAD: Start spending more time with blondes and brunettes than with a redhead who doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut. She is jealous of the attention you're getting.

Friends & NeighborsEtiquette & Ethics
life

Woman Not Ready for Marriage Looks for Nice Way to Say No

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 8th, 2013 | Letter 1 of 4

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend, "Ned," for almost two years. I'm 19 and we have lived together since we started dating. I love Ned, but I feel like we moved too fast into our relationship and now he's trying to keep it moving as quickly as possible. I'm afraid he's going to propose soon.

He brings the subject up a lot, and I never have much to say because I'm afraid of hurting his feelings. What should I say if he pops the question? I'm not ready for that kind of commitment, but I don't want him to be angry with me if I say no. -- TORN IN OHIO

DEAR TORN: Honesty is the best policy. Not wanting to upset someone would be a very poor reason for getting married. If Ned pops the question, it is perfectly all right to tell him exactly what you have shared with me -- that you are not ready for that kind of commitment because you are only 19. It's the truth.

If Ned becomes angry, do not allow him to stampede you into saying yes. That kind of reaction could be a warning sign of someone who is a potential abuser.

Love & DatingMarriage & Divorce
life

Teen Has Doubts About His Ability To Be Monogamous

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 8th, 2013 | Letter 2 of 4

DEAR ABBY: I'm 14 and haven't had a girlfriend yet, but I'm curious about something. When I do have one, will it mean I can't love other girls?

Lots of girls tell me I'm nice, friendly and helpful. I love them. When I have a girlfriend or get married, I won't be able to stop loving others. Is this wrong, Abby? -- CARLOS IN DONNA, TEXAS

DEAR CARLOS: There are varying degrees of love. There is nothing wrong with loving women, as long as you don't love them all at the same time. If you do, it may upset your girlfriend or wife.

When you are ready for a permanent relationship, the feelings you will have for the woman you're involved with will be stronger than those you are feeling now. However, if that doesn't happen, consider it an indication that you either aren't ready to settle down or you were meant to be a bachelor.

Teens
life

Husband's Icy Habit Could Be An Ironclad Health Issue

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 8th, 2013 | Letter 3 of 4

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing in response to "Hates the Crunching in New Mexico" (April 21), the wife who was annoyed about her husband's chewing ice during breakfast and dinner. There is a possibility that he many have pagophagia (craving and chewing ice), which is often associated with iron deficiency anemia. It could also indicate other nutritional problems that can be manifested by various "picas" (craving substances that have no nutritional value, such as dirt).

"Hates the Crunching" should encourage her husband to schedule an appointment with his physician ASAP for a simple blood test, which can show whether or not he has anemia. -- HOLLY PHELPS, BELLFLOWER, CALIF.

DEAR HOLLY: Thank you for your letter. Some readers felt the ice crunching was just a bad habit, but the majority echoed your concern that the crunching could be a sign of anemia. I hope your letter will encourage "Hates the Crunching's" husband to contact his doctor and ask to be evaluated.

Health & Safety
life

Gracious Aunt Runs Afoul Of Ungrateful Mother

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 8th, 2013 | Letter 4 of 4

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, who is graduating from college, received a gift card from her aunt. The gift card is for the shop that the aunt owns. I think this was tacky. Am I wrong? -- PROUD MAMA IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR PROUD MAMA: If your daughter likes the merchandise her aunt carries, I see nothing tacky about it. However, for you to criticize the gift is ungracious. And tacky.

Etiquette & EthicsFamily & Parenting

Subscribe

Receive Dear Abby Free Every Day


Next up: More trusted advice from...

  • Dragonfly Escort
  • Forgotten Salves
  • Lucky Squirrel
  • Toy Around
  • A Clean Getaway
  • Patio Appeal
  • Reliable Worker Bears Brunt of Supervisor's Anger
  • Sister's Proud Mom Social Media Boasting Rubs LW the Wrong Way
  • Dad Baffled by Son's High-end Car Purchase
UExpressLifeParentingHomePetsHealthAstrologyOdditiesA-Z
AboutContactSubmissionsTerms of ServicePrivacy Policy
©2022 Andrews McMeel Universal