DEAR ABBY: I am friendly with a married couple. The husband, "Grant," is my best friend and we talk about everything. His wife, "Sharon," and I are equally close. Their wedding date was last summer.

I have known for a while that Grant didn't want to get married. He did it to please everyone around him. Sharon, however, was elated. He hoped that after the wedding his feelings would change. Now they have been married for nine months Grant tells me he can't continue on, that he is unhappy and no longer wants to be married.

I have begged and pleaded with him to level with Sharon. He keeps making excuses about why he hasn't told her yet. He says he'll do it -- but each day he moves the discussion further and further back. When I talk with her, she tells me she has the feeling he doesn't want to be married anymore.

Please help. This is stressing me out. I want to let Grant tell her, but I feel I should say something because he hasn't. At the same time, I don't want to have anyone mad at me. What should I do? -- CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE

DEAR CAUGHT: Step back and keep your mouth shut. You are in a no-win situation.

It is Grant's job to find the courage to tell his wife he made a mistake by marrying her. While it may be painful for her to hear, it probably won't come as a shock, from what she's telling you.

You help neither of them by letting them discuss their marital problems with you instead of with each other. So do them both a favor and remove yourself from the middle.

DEAR ABBY: When I was 15, I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, severe anxiety and social phobia. I am now 20 and have been on countless medications and tried different forms of therapy. I wish for nothing more than to be a fully functioning adult, but I am exhausted from trying my hardest to feel better internally only to find myself where I started.

What's your best advice for young adults dealing with crippling mental illness? How can we live our lives without fear of being rejected or shunned for our illness? -- FRUSTRATED IN WASHINGTON

DEAR FRUSTRATED: There is still ignorance, stigma and fear about mental illness mostly because it is misunderstood. However, 50 percent of adults will have a diagnosable mental illness at some time in their lives -- including the ones you have.

I discussed your letter with Dr. David Baron, psychiatrist in chief at the University of Southern California hospital. He suggested that I stress to you the importance of finding a mental health professional you can trust and confide in, and have another thorough evaluation done.

In recent years newer drugs and therapies are being used which may help you, so you shouldn't give up. In a case like yours, a combination of medication and talk therapy can be helpful.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 7-year-old boy in the second grade. There is a girl named "Kate" in my class and she wants to marry me. She sits next to me and she is really annoying. What should I do? -- NOT READY TO SETTLE DOWN

DEAR NOT READY: Start running. And if she appeals to you when you're about 14, slow down.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 14-year-old girl who recently had sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time for both of us. A week and a half later, we had a big fight.

Another problem is I am having a lot of feelings for his best friend, and he has feelings for me, too. I don't want to tell my boyfriend because I love him and don't want to lose him. I also don't want to ruin his friendship with the other guy.

My boyfriend wants to have sex again, but I don't. I wish I could take it back. What can I do? -- LOST AND CONFUSED

DEAR LOST AND CONFUSED: Because you had sex once does not mean you are compelled to do it again. Feeling as you do about the best friend is a strong sign that as much as you care for your boyfriend, you are not in love with him.

If you are being pressured to have sex, it's important for your sake that you tell your boyfriend you feel it happened too soon, you're sorry you did it, and you have decided to wait until you are older to start again. It would be an intelligent move for you because your affections appear to be all over the map right now.

I am also concerned because you didn't mention whether you both used birth control. It's a sign of maturity when couples plan ahead and take precautions to avoid an unwanted pregnancy. (And yes, a girl can get pregnant the first time.) In fact, there's a word for teens who have sex on the spur of the moment and don't use birth control: It's PARENTS.

DEAR ABBY: My friend is a compulsive talker. "Chatty Cathy" draws detailed descriptions of people I don't know and don't care about and lingers over past and current tribulations. I tolerate her behavior because she's a kind person, but she is oblivious to how much she dominates a conversation. It's like something compels her to fill every silence with monologue.

Her personal and work relationships suffer because of it. It's hard for her to hold a job, and she often becomes upset over this co-worker's or that family member's behavior. It is always the other person's failure, yet she is always in the center of the commotion.

She has had a tough life, partly of her own making. If I try to send subtle cues of uninterest, she doesn't pick up on them and keeps talking and talking. I feel sorry for her. Is there anything I can do to help her, without seeming critical? -- EXHAUSTED LISTENER IN HAWAII

DEAR EXHAUSTED: Not knowing your friend, I can only guess what drives her to talk compulsively. Some people do it because they feel the need to prove to others how smart they are. Others do it out of nervousness or insecurity because they are uncomfortable with silence -- even if it is a momentary pause in conversation.

Because her behavior has had a negative impact on her employability, the next time she mentions problems at work, it would be a kindness to suggest to her that, because it's happening repeatedly, she discuss it with a psychologist. That's not hurtful; it's helpful.

DEAR ABBY: I own a business with just two employees, my husband and a very old friend. The friend has been in the business for 15 years, and he is critical to running it. My husband has been with me for 11 years, but in the business for only three. He is not critical to running the business.

Their relationship is a constant strain. Neither one likes the other, but they generally tolerate each other. When tensions arise they become emotional, and I end up caught between them, unable to put an end to it.

How do we work and live in peace? Their conflict is affecting the smooth functioning of the business. What should I do to end the hostility? I'm a quiet type, which probably feeds the situation. -- WALKING ON EGGSHELLS

DEAR WALKING ON EGGSHELLS: You may be a quiet type, but you are also the boss. The atmosphere you describe is unhealthy for your business. For it to continue to be successful, your business must be nurtured as a separate entity apart from your friendship and your marriage.

Because the present situation makes it difficult for all of you to function together, I'm suggesting that you tell your husband you love him, but either he must get along with the longtime employee or leave the business -- because it's the business that is paying the bills, feeding and putting a roof over all of you!

DEAR ABBY: A friend, "Wanda," invited my husband, "Hugh," and me to a dinner party two years ago. Hugh had too much to drink and insulted not only Wanda but also one of the guests. He apologized the next day.

This is not the first time he has done this at dinner parties, and his behavior has had a negative impact on some of my best friendships. I used to entertain all the time, but I can no longer invite my friends over as they no longer want to be around Hugh.

Wanda continues to invite me to her dinner parties, but has made a point of telling me that Hugh is not invited. Not wanting to lose another friend, I have been going alone. I let my husband know why, and he says it doesn't bother him, but I feel guilty attending without him. My friendships are important to me and I'm torn about what to do. -- PARTY OF ONE

DEAR PARTY: If your husband can't control his behavior when he's had a drink or two, then he should not be drinking in public. That he says it "doesn't bother him" that he's no longer welcome in these people's homes is sad, as it should be a glaring signal that he needs help.

Because he isn't ready to do something about his problem, continue to socialize without him. That you do is admirable, so please stop feeling guilty about it.

DEAR ABBY: About a year ago, my wife had an affair with one of the instructors at a training seminar. We are working to repair our marriage and are making great strides. She says there's nothing else going on now.

My wife has been invited to a graduation ceremony where she is to receive an award from the same instructor. This will be the first time I meet this person, and I have mixed feelings about it. How should I approach this meeting? -- MIXED FEELINGS IN MISSOURI

DEAR MIXED FEELINGS: Do it with cool civility, complete sobriety and as little contact as possible.