DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently learned that our sister-in-law's adult son from a prior marriage, "Charlie," is now "Claire." My husband and I have three sons, ages 2 to 10 years.

This sister-in-law expressed concern that our 10-year-old would remember Charlie and say something inappropriate. She's demanding that we lie to him and tell him Claire is another daughter we have never met.

My husband and I do not lie to our children. We feel it is best to explain to all three of our sons that Charlie has decided to make a lifestyle change and let them ask questions if they choose. What is your opinion? -- TRUTH-TELLING PARENTS

DEAR PARENTS: I don't believe in lying to children either, but before you tell your sons that Charlie decided to make a "lifestyle change," I urge you to do some research about gender identity. It is not as simple on any level as changing an aspect of one's lifestyle. It is about who Claire truly feels she is inside.

If your oldest boy remembers Charlie, he should know that some people feel from an early age that they were born into the wrong body -- the wrong gender. Fortunately, there is help for it in the form of medication and surgery. He should be told that the problem has been solved and Charlie is now Claire. When the younger children are older, they can be told the same thing in an age-appropriate manner if the subject comes up.

DEAR ABBY: My children's father died of cancer about a year ago. As a result, they receive Social Security benefits as his surviving dependents. He had no life insurance, so this is all they have.

The problem is nearly everyone who finds out they receive this money becomes angry and jealous. Abby, these benefits came from his earnings and are meant to assist me in supporting the children he is no longer here to help with. We try not to mention the money, but sometimes it comes up in conversation.

How can people be jealous about money received from such a tragedy? Would they really want to lose a family member in exchange for cash? Please ask people to be more considerate in a situation where a child has paid a far greater price than any check in the mail could cover. -- SURVIVING MOM IN ILLINOIS

DEAR MOM: I'm sorry for your loss. People, particularly in a difficult economy, can become jealous if they think someone is getting "something for nothing." (And depending upon how dysfunctional a family is, they might indeed be willing to "lose" a family member in exchange for cash.)

I'm passing your sentiments along, but my advice to you is to stop discussing finances unless there is a specific reason why the person you're talking to must have that information.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law picks her nose in front of others by covering her finger with a tissue and then digging deep into her nose. She claims this is acceptable behavior even though the rest of us are grossed out. She refuses to stop unless somebody like you tells her otherwise.

Please help with this. I have a 7-year-old daughter who sees her, and I don't want her to think this is proper behavior in public. -- GROSSED OUT

DEAR GROSSED OUT: It's one thing to use a tissue for a gentle nose-blow, and quite another to use it as camouflage for a major excavation. That your MIL is grossing out those around her should be evidence enough that what she's doing is bad manners. It is showing lack of consideration for those around her.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half. I regret moving in with him when I did, which was after only three months of dating.

We have been through a lot, including my struggle with various health issues. Throughout this he has become an insensitive person who treats me like garbage. There has been a lot of emotional abuse happening, and it has taken me quite a while to be able to see it.

The other night I was about to break up with him. Then he suddenly changed his tune. He said: "I'm listening. You're right. I need to change. I love you."

Abby, at this point I really don't care, but I gave him another chance. Was I wrong to do that? He has changed for now -- quite drastically -- but I know he could easily go back.

I no longer love him. I also no longer find him attractive, and I actually think he's immensely annoying. He's trying to get me to fall back in love with him, but I really don't want to. So do I stay or do I go? -- WAVERING IN CANADA

DEAR WAVERING: Re-read the last paragraph of your letter, and you will see in your own words why it's time for you to go. He may be trying, but frankly, it is too late. Pack your bags. There's nothing deader than a dead romance.

DEAR ABBY: A friend recently shared some great advice. Her mom is 86 and in poor health, so my friend put together an emergency information briefcase for the trunk of her car and another one by the front door.

If anyone needs to take her mother to the ER, all her important information is in two places. This includes medications, doctors, insurance cards, Living Will, power of attorney and family emergency numbers.

I took my friend's advice, and it turned out to be a godsend when I had to take my 79-year-old mother to the ER after a serious fall. The admitting clerks said they wished everyone would do this. (I also included $100 in cash in a small envelope.) I hope you think her idea is worth sharing. -- GLAD I DID IN ALABAMA

DEAR GLAD: If the admitting clerks said they wished everyone would do this, then it's worth a mention in my column. Readers, advance planning such as this could save precious minutes in an emergency.

DEAR ABBY: Due to an accident I had as a teenager, I can't father a child. How far into a relationship should I wait to tell a woman this? While I wouldn't mention it on the first date, I don't want someone to feel betrayed if she wasn't informed.

There's also the issue of finding a woman who's OK with it. So far, the ones I have dated ended the relationship because they couldn't accept being childless or adopting. -- GUY WHO NEEDS AN ANSWER

DEAR GUY: Mention it when the subject of children comes up. Not every woman wants children. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

P.S. If you include the fact that you can't father a child on your dating profile, it will filter out those women who do. I'm advising you to prepare for an avalanche.

DEAR ABBY: I have worked in the field of education for more than 40 years, with the last 25 years serving in adult education, helping students complete their high school equivalency diploma.

Big changes are impending worldwide in this very important educational service. Starting in 2014, the cost may go up. Up until two years ago, the classes in our community were free. The testing cost $7.50, which paid for a printed diploma. Since then, the cost has gone up -- first to $25 and then to $35.

Now the GED program has been bought by a for-profit organization and the costs will go higher than ever. Furthermore, it will no longer be possible to take the test using pencil and paper. It will all be done on computer.

Please encourage the thousands of adults who do not have their high school degrees to make a life-changing decision for themselves and their families now! -- JOY IN A CLASSROOM DOWN SOUTH

DEAR JOY: I am sure many readers will thank you for this important heads-up. Readers, the changes Joy has described will go into effect on Jan. 2, 2014. According to the media representative for the GED Testing Service in Washington, D.C., the costs of the tests will be determined by the state in which it is administered. It is currently between $0 and $250, and in 2014 will "marginally increase or decrease" according to which state you live in. (Decrease? Forgive me for being doubtful ...) Criteria for passing or failing the test will remain the same.

Readers, any of you who are not computer literate should start now. Do not delay. If you are uncomfortable with technology and have a friend or relative who is knowledgeable, more information can be obtained by visiting www.gedtestingservice.com.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in the workplace for 20 years. During that time I have witnessed lying, cheating, lechery, betrayal, vicious gossip, arrogance, entitlement, stealing and bullying, etc.

Does work bring out the worst in people? Is it because we all must be here every day? Is it too many people competing for too few resources? Is my hide too thin? Am I in the wrong job? -- THE DAILY GRIND

Last week, a co-worker whom I liked and respected confided to me that she hopes a 102-year-old relative will die soon because she needs to inherit some money. I was floored and had a hard time keeping the shock off my face.

DEAR DAILY GRIND: When you spend eight hours a day with people, they usually reveal their core values at some point. In your case, you appear to work with someone who "over-shares." I don't think your hide is too thin, and I'm not in a position to tell you if you're in the wrong job. You may, however, be overdue for a vacation.

P.S. Let's cross our fingers and hope that relative makes it to 110.

DEAR ABBY: Please settle a family disagreement. A scratch ticket is given to a friend or relative as a gift. If that ticket is a winner, is there an expectation that the winnings should be shared with the person who gave the ticket? -- JEFF IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR JEFF: A gift is a gift. There is no obligation to share. Alexander Pope wrote, "Hope springs eternal in the human breast," but if you are hoping you'll get a cut of the money, don't hold your breath.