DEAR ABBY: My oldest son came out to me as a gay man in a private conversation. I have no problem with him being gay; however, I do have a problem with the fact that he has asked me not to tell anyone. He isn't ready to come out to anyone else. I tried to advise him that until he is true to himself, he won't be happy. My son says if he comes out to anyone else, it would "hurt so many people."

I will keep his secret, but there is a young woman he is living with and planning to marry, and I do not believe this is fair to her or her child. He is not happy being a gay man, and that's why he's choosing to live a lie. He was raised in church and feels like he is betraying God by being gay.

How can I support him and lie to this young woman he is with? My son is so confused. How do I help him and keep his secret at the same time? -- ANONYMOUS

DEAR ANONYMOUS: Your son may not be "happy" being a gay man, but that is who he is. For him to keep a secret like this from his fiancee, who plans to share the rest of her life with him, will be more hurtful to her if he goes through with the wedding than telling her now.

Help him by encouraging him to seek counseling through an LGBT community center. It will be strictly confidential, and there is nothing he can tell them they haven't heard before. He has already cracked open his closet door by disclosing his sexual orientation to you. This tells me that on some level he wants to open it all the way.

He is fortunate that he has a parent who is as accepting and wise about life as you. Continue talking to him and encourage him to talk more with you. It may help him to become more comfortable opening up and to accept reality.

DEAR ABBY: I live in a small town where traffic isn't much of a problem. Recently, though, a young man was killed in a car wreck. He ran into a semi because he was texting while driving. His final text was to a friend who had asked if they could get together for a night of fun.

As a rule, we look down on people who drink and drive, as this is unacceptable in today's world. But we do nothing to drivers who text and drive. Please advise your readers that no message is worth dying over. Last night there was another traffic accident caused by the same thing! -- ROBERT IN KILGORE, TEXAS

DEAR ROBERT: Sadly, that "night of fun" will have to be postponed indefinitely. Sometimes it takes a tragedy (or two) to wake people up because they're operating under the delusion that they are the exception to the rules of the road or are invincible.

DEAR ABBY: My mother is in her mid-90s and in good health. She has no intention of dying soon, but asked me an interesting question. She has mileage points with a major airline and was wondering if she can use them for the "final trip" back to her home state for burial when the time comes. Do you know the answer? -- ONE-WAY TICKET

DEAR ONE-WAY: Your question is not only an interesting one, but it's a first. I contacted a spokesperson for a major airline who responded that his company does not accept mileage points as a form of payment for any type of "shipment." For her last flight, your mother would no longer be considered a passenger; she would be cargo, which is why her points idea won't fly.

DEAR ABBY: I am frustrated and angry over a situation that should be fun and happy. My husband, "Rick," and I are planning a trip with our two children next month. We will visit family while we are there, but they don't have room for us to stay in their home.

Rick wants to bring his mother with us. It will be a tight fit in our car, but I don't have a problem with that. What bothers me is that Rick wants her to stay with us in our hotel room.

I am a very private person. I have a problem sharing such close quarters with her. There is no privacy in a hotel room!

I offered to get two rooms, but he feels I am being unreasonable. I feel three adults plus two children is a lot to pack into a small hotel room.

Am I being unreasonable? Or should I just accept it and deal with being miserable? -- FRUSTRATED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Although there may be exceptions, as a general rule, adults need their privacy. Frankly, I am surprised your mother-in-law would be willing to go along with such an arrangement. This is a vacation, and you should not be miserable when you're supposed to be enjoying it.

A better solution would be to get two rooms, and the children should bunk with their grandmother. That way you and your husband could enjoy some private time together.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend for seven years. We have no children together, but he has two young children from a previous relationship whom I have been raising as my own. They call me "Mom," but they know I'm not their biological mother. Their mother has not contacted them -- or cared to -- since the younger one was just months old.

My fear is now that the kids are getting older, they may want to form a relationship with her later on. I don't want to seem selfish, but they are my kids. Any girl can have a baby, but it takes a real woman to be a mom. How should I handle this when that time comes? -- DREADING THE FUTURE IN ARIZONA

DEAR DREADING THE FUTURE: It is natural for children to want to know who their biological parents are; that's the reason adoption records are no longer sealed. You appear to fear that your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend will want to swoop in and steal your maternal spotlight. From all indications, it's not the case; you are the only mother they know.

If the children want information about their birth mother, the truth should not be kept from them. Meeting her does not guarantee they will love you any less. Worrying about it is self-defeating.

DEAR ABBY: What is the protocol for in-person conversations vs. phone interruptions (either via text or call)? When talking with someone, I feel it's rude for the other individual to respond to voice or text messages. Can't people take a break long enough to actually have a real live conversation? How do other readers handle this? Do they walk away? Patiently wait? Or speak up? -- TECHNOLOGICALLY OVERLOADED IN VIRGINIA

DEAR OVERLOADED: The best approach is the direct approach. Tell the person, "I wish you wouldn't do that."

DEAR ABBY: I work in a small office with two former heavy smokers who have now transitioned to vapor/e-cigarettes. My concern is that they "smoke" their e-cigarettes in the office constantly, and I don't know what chemicals I am now breathing secondhand.

Both of them are senior to me in rank and age, and they pooh-pooh the notion that anything but water vapor is being exhaled. Am I making something out of nothing, or should I be worried about this? -- CLEAN AIR

DEAR CLEAN AIR: You don't have anything to worry about, but your co-workers may. In 2009, the FDA announced the findings from a laboratory analysis that indicated that electronic cigarettes expose users to harmful chemical ingredients, including carcinogens. However, those elements were not detected in exhaled vapor.

DEAR ABBY: The woman who collaborated with me on this letter is in her 80s and lives at an assisted-living facility. I am a caregiver and a senior myself, and I have worked in this area for six years.

We read your column on the days I care for her. She loves it and responds verbally to all the letters. Many times the situations spark good conversation, even though her short-term memory is failing. Sometimes we end up howling with laughter. She's a delight and has the courage to still seek out relationships.

This is what she asked me to help her to communicate. -- KATE IN AUSTIN, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: I have been in assisted living for seven years. There are times when it can be lonely and boring. I'd like to meet some men for companionship, conversation and perhaps romance. The men here act so much older than me. They don't start conversations. They stay in their rooms and watch TV and don't seem interested in conversations.

It's hard because my memory isn't what it used to be, but I do remember how nice it was to have male companionship. Do you have any ideas to make my life a little more interesting? -- LONELY WOMAN

DEAR LONELY: Start by making sure you participate in all the activities your assisted-living facility offers. Shared mealtimes and holiday celebrations also present opportunities to mingle.

The trick is to find something you have in common with these men -- sports, games, music, movies. Because long-term memory outlasts short-term memory, some of them might find it easier to discuss their youth than the present.

Encourage your caregiver, Kate, to take you places where you can meet other seniors. And while you're at it, why not invite some of the men to join you both during your Dear Abby sessions? It's a way to draw people out and get to know them better.

DEAR ABBY: After a six-month separation, my husband and I are reuniting. We were married for 22 years. I know for a fact he has dated and slept with several women. He's adamant that he used protection each time, but the idea of STDs has me preoccupied and worried. I have asked him to use protection with me until I get over my fear.

How long do most of today's STDs incubate, and what is a safe time to wait to remove the "rain gear"? -- LONGING FOR CONTACT

DEAR LONGING: Congratulations on your reunion. Rather than worry about this, ask your husband to schedule a doctor's appointment and be tested for any STD he might have contracted. Not all STDs have the same incubation period, but a blood test could resolve the issue and put your mind at ease.