DEAR ABBY: I am a semi-retired widow in my 60s. A few months ago I started spending time with a man I work with. We would see each other once or twice a month, strictly as friends. Our "dates" ended with a platonic hug.

About a month ago, a hug turned into an embrace. A week later, the embrace became a passionate kiss. Since then, whenever we get together -- now once or twice a week -- we spend a good portion of our time together "making out." We love the way each other kisses.

The problem is, we're still just friends. There is no desire on the part of either of us to take the relationship up a notch. What do we do? We should not be kissing a friend the way we do, but we can't seem to stop.

We're not hurting anyone. We have tried meeting only in public places, but there is still the goodnight kiss. I never thought I'd need this kind of advice at my age. Must we stop spending time together? -- FLABBERGASTED IN WISCONSIN

DEAR FLABBERGASTED: Not in my opinion. I assume you're both eligible. This is the way relationships develop, and you would be foolish not to see where it leads. As of now, a kiss is still a kiss. Let me hear from you in a month.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing on behalf of hairstylists. We are busy people. Our time is money. We rarely even stop for lunch. Clients who come in talking on their cellphones are a real problem for us because they slow us down.

I have had clients jump up from my chair to answer their cellphone in the middle of a haircut -- hair flying everywhere. I have had to do a haircut around a cellphone, with the client switching the phone from ear to ear! These are not even important calls -- just casual conversations.

The lack of courtesy is ridiculous, and it seems to be getting worse. I would like people who do this to think twice before subjecting their stylist to it. They should put their phones on silent, get their hair cut or colored, and talk on their own time! -- FED UP IN NEBRASKA

DEAR FED UP: You are not helpless. This is happening because you have allowed it. If you can't find the gumption to tell your customers you don't want them using their cellphones while they're in your chair, then post a sign on your mirror that reads "Cellphones Not Allowed."

DEAR ABBY: I am a new bride. I love my husband very much, but I've encountered a problem I don't know how to handle. My husband and I were together for six years before we got married and were engaged for three. We eloped to Las Vegas (it wasn't planned) and had a "proper" celebration with friends and family later.

My husband makes comments that suggest I dragged him and tricked him into marrying me. I know he's only kidding, but it's very hurtful. I don't know how to let him know his comments really hurt my feelings. It makes me feel like he's ashamed of our marriage. -- NEWLYWED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR NEWLYWED: The squeaky wheel gets the grease. The next time your husband does it, speak up. Explain that his attempts at humor are hurtful, not to mention insulting. Ask him if he regrets marrying you. (If the answer is yes, it's important that you know it now.) Clear communication is the key to a strong marriage, and so is respect for one's partner, which he appears to be lacking.

DEAR ABBY: I met a man 15 years ago who has recently come back into my life. I hadn't seen him in years. He says he wants to be with me and marry me, and I very much would like to be his wife. I live in one state, he lives in another and his work is in yet another state. He does travel -- not much -- but some.

The problem is I think he's married to his job. He says he wants to be home with me once we are married. But then he says that once his work slows down, he won't earn as much.

I'm not sure how I can do this, with him working in one state and living in another. Sometimes I wonder if he's really in love with me or if he's stringing me along. How can I be with him if I never see him? If you have any advice for me, please let me know soon. -- HEARTS AWAITING

DEAR HEARTS AWAITING: If a "little voice" is telling you this man may be stringing you along, make no hasty decisions. It's important that you visit him at his home at least a few times, get to know his friends and family, if he has any, and see how you would fit in.

You also need to decide how you would spend your "alone" time while he's working. If you are an independent type, you'll be able to fill the time. But if you're not, then face the fact that as much as you care for him, you'd be miserable. So look carefully before you leap to the altar.

DEAR ABBY: I am an educated, open-minded, well-spoken, well-mannered single man. I enjoy life and smile just about every waking moment.

My problem is that people -- especially women -- think I'm gay. I assure you, I'm not! One woman recently lambasted me, saying her "gaydar" is never wrong, so I should just admit it to myself.

This issue has prohibited me from dating, especially over the last few years, because ladies see me as a peer instead of potential partner. Also, people tell others that I'm gay, so there are preconceived opinions.

Please don't think I am anti-gay. I have several gay male and female friends. I don't think my speech inflections or mannerisms make people assume this. I don't know what to do. Help! -- STRAIGHT, BUT NOT NARROW IN ALABAMA

DEAR STRAIGHT: Because there appears to be some confusion about your sexual orientation, I recommend you talk frankly with some of your female and male friends and ask what it is about you that has created this impression. Obviously there is something about the way you present yourself that's causing it, and the quickest way to find out what it is would be to ask direct questions of the people who know you best.

DEAR ABBY: My dear friend, God rest her soul, had a saying I think everyone could benefit from:

"You are the master of the unspoken word. Once it is spoken, it is your master forever."

Comments, Abby? -- DISCREET MIDWESTERNER

DEAR DISCREET: Your dear friend was a smart woman. Too many times we say things that we wish we could take back. The same is true for the written word.

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem. Basically, I don't like me. I am self-conscious about my weight, my face, my personality. I'm not pretty. I have heard so many times I should "just be myself" that I am sick of it! I don't want to be myself because I don't like myself.

All of my friends are either beautiful, witty, kind or whatever. And I am not, I guess. Please tell me what to do about it. -- COMING UP SHORT IN OREGON

DEAR COMING UP SHORT: I do have a few suggestions, and the first is to stop being your own worst enemy. The more you dwell on what you think you lack, the more you will amplify those things. Find one thing you like about yourself and build from there.

Because you're self-conscious about your weight, do something about it by adopting a healthy eating and exercise plan. While you may not be a cover girl, you can be well-groomed. More important than being "witty" is to be a good listener. Remember that, and people will think you are a great conversationalist.

The more you brood about yourself, the lonelier you will become. The more you think about helping others, the less time you will have to think about yourself.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are in our mid-40s and have four beautiful daughters. A boy who dated one of them has become a family friend over the past few years.

"Brett" is a nice young man and has always been helpful with our family. The problem is, Brett texts and calls my wife on a daily basis. The conversation is benign, but I can tell he has a crush on her.

I have asked my wife to stop communicating with him so often, but she insists it's "just a friendship" and nothing is going on. My point is that there is something going on -- from his side -- even though she may not realize it.

We have gone round and round about this to the point of exhaustion. Should I let this go or continue to insist that their relationship be redefined? -- UNEASY IN FLORIDA

DEAR UNEASY: Looking from the outside in, I suspect that your wife is enjoying all the attention she's receiving from this young man. She's in her mid-40s and it has to be flattering. This is not to imply that the communications will lead to anything more. So step back, find your sense of humor and try to be less heavy-handed until this blows over. Because it will.

DEAR ABBY: My stepfather died recently. I found out when I saw his obituary in the newspaper. It described him as a "loving husband and father," and while I know that's a fairly generic epitaph, nothing about it is true. He was an alcoholic who had several affairs while married to my mother. He also abused me and my stepsiblings physically and sexually.

It's bad enough that he died without having to face the consequences of his actions, but it kills me to know that "loving husband and father" is how our community and history will remember him now that he's gone. Is there anything I can do to get some form of the truth out there? -- ANGRY IN TENNESSEE

DEAR ANGRY: Yes, there is. Just keep talking and the word will get around.

DEAR READERS: To those of you living where daylight saving time is observed, I'm offering this gentle reminder: Turn your clocks forward one hour at bedtime tonight. Daylight saving time begins at 2 a.m. tomorrow, and you know what that means -- spring is on the way!