DEAR ABBY: I just found out that my girlfriend of nearly four years had an abortion when she was in high school.

I overheard her during a conversation she was having with someone. I later asked her what was implied when the name of her ex-boyfriend from high school was brought up. She proceeded to tell me what had happened and then said, "I never told you that?" Obviously, she never mentioned it to me because I certainly would have remembered something of that magnitude.

My reaction is feelings of disgust, betrayal and of having been lied to. Am I overreacting or are my feelings warranted? -- FEELS BETRAYED IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR FEELS BETRAYED: That depends upon whether you ever had a conversation with your girlfriend about her sexual history during which you were supposed to tell each other "everything." If so, then the omission was deliberate. If not, she was under no obligation to reveal that she had terminated a pregnancy during high school.

Abortion is a deeply personal and often complex decision for women. Ultimately, I am told, most women feel a sense of relief after an abortion. However, many do not feel that it is something to celebrate and may not be comfortable sharing that they have had one.

DEAR ABBY: My husband gives me gift cards for my birthday and special occasions, but with it comes, "I want to know everything you buy!" I tell him it's a gift and I shouldn't have to tell him what I use it for. If I do tell him what I bought, he invariably says, "Did you really need that?"

It ruins the whole thing for me when I must reveal what I bought with the card. So who's right -- he or I? -- RELUCTANT RECIPIENT IN ALASKA

DEAR RELUCTANT RECIPIENT: You are, for the reason you stated. The object of a gift is to bring pleasure, and there are few comments your husband could make that would put a bigger damper on your purchase than, "Do you really need that?" The next time he asks what you bought, tell him, "None of your beeswax!"

DEAR ABBY: My stepmother was in a fatal car accident. She was very dear to me. A few days after the funeral, Dad told me the best way to handle grief is to clean house -- so we began cleaning house like crazy, stopping to cry every now and then.

We ran out of towels, so I went to fetch more from the guest bathroom where they are kept. Seeing a penny on the sink, I grabbed it and threw it in the wastebasket. (I wondered where it had come from because I hadn't noticed it there earlier in the day.) Suddenly, I remembered the letters in your column from people saying if you find a penny after you have lost a loved one, it means they are sending you a message of love from heaven.

I quickly reached into the wastebasket to retrieve the penny, praying that it was newly minted -- and it was! I showed it to Dad, explaining the significance, and we both had a good cry. We keep it in my stepmother's china cabinet to remind us that love is eternal.

To us, that penny is priceless. Thank you for running those "pennies from heaven" stories. -- READER IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR READER: You're welcome. To me your experience is priceless.

DEAR ABBY: Valentine's Day is approaching, and I wanted to write concerning those of us who are single by choice, by circumstance, because of the death of a spouse or divorce.

This holiday was set aside to celebrate love and lovers, but it can be a lonely time for people who find themselves without a significant other. Valentine's Day is so commercialized that one is bombarded by ads for gifts, candy, etc., from every angle, which only enforces one's aloneness. The message is subtly sent -- but received loud and clear -- that an individual without a partner is worthless.

I would like to urge your readers this year to include those who are alone through divorce or widowhood in their celebration of this day. Make it a day on which they too can feel special, loved, and a part of things rather than isolated, forgotten and alone.

And don't stop there. All holidays can be lonely for those who have lost loved ones. Include these people in your holiday plans. You will be blessed by sharing, and they will be uplifted to know someone cares. -- SOLO IN TEXAS

DEAR SOLO: Thank you for your letter. Readers, if you're feeling down because you don't have a special valentine, the surest cure for the blues is to do something for someone else. Call someone who's alone to say, "I'm thinking about you."

If you know someone who's in a nursing home, take some flowers. Put your discarded items in a box and call your favorite charity. Donate some blood. Listen to your teenager. Tell your parents you think they're great. Forgive an enemy. Send a donation to a food program that benefits the needy.

And if you love someone, tell him or her now; please don't wait until next Valentine's Day to be a sweetheart again.

DEAR ABBY: I have had an embarrassing problem ever since grammar school. I bite my nails and cuticles until they bleed. If the pain is severe, or I see a piece of cuticle hanging, I stop until it heals. But then I start up again. How can quit this ugly habit? -- MANIC IN GRANDVIEW, MO.

DEAR MANIC: You have a problem that I'm told is shared by one in 12 adults. There is more than one solution for it, and the common denominator in all of them is motivation. Some helpful suggestions submitted by readers in years past:

(1) "What helped me to finally stop at age 45 was that I sat down and tried to figure out why I kept biting my nails. I finally realized it was because I couldn't stand the feel of a rough nail catching on the fabric of my clothing.

"Now I keep emery boards, from coarse to fine, beside my favorite chair, in my purse, in my glove compartment and by my bed. If I feel a snag, I immediately smooth the offending nail. It has eliminated my need to bite."

(2) "My high school teacher included some interesting lessons in personal hygiene in his biology class. One day, he asked us to scrape under our fingernails and look at what we removed under a microscope. Seeing face to face what had collected under there was enough to stop me from biting my nails. I haven't chewed them in nearly 30 years."

(3) "What stopped me was a job I landed as a teenager. I became an usher at a movie theater. My job required wearing a uniform, including white gloves. Not long after I landed the job, I noticed I had nice nails. The gloves were what did it."

(4) "Finally, when I was in my 30s, I asked my doctor to suggest a cure. He talked to me about obsessive-compulsive disorder and prescribed a low dose of a very safe drug used by people with O.C.D. In three weeks my nail-biting stopped for good."

DEAR ABBY: My stepson "Steve" is getting married out of town. His fiancee is an only daughter with three brothers, and her family is throwing a large, traditional, formal wedding.

My husband and I have just been informed by Steve's mother that we are to host the rehearsal dinner for the wedding party, their spouses and out-of-town guests. It will cost thousands of dollars in addition to the cost of us attending the wedding, and we will have to go into debt to pay for it. Is this fair?

When we were married, we had a simple wedding. We prepared everything ourselves because it was all we could afford. Should we be expected to fork over money we don't have to feed people we don't know just because the bride's family can afford to throw a large, formal wedding? -- STEPMOM IN CANADA

DEAR STEPMOM: No, you should not, and you should let the bride's family know it ASAP. Although, traditionally, a rehearsal dinner is hosted by the parents of the groom, today it can be hosted by just about anyone who is willing.

And while the guest list normally includes all attendants and their spouses or partners, close relatives and special guests such as the clergyperson and spouse, you are not obligated to include out-of-town guests. Out-of-town guests should be given a list of local restaurants and should not expect to be entertained beyond the wedding and the reception.

DEAR ABBY: I had a working relationship with a couple, "Ed" and "Millie," for many years. I considered them personal friends as well. I have since left the company and moved about 80 miles away.

While I have enjoyed staying in touch with them, their phone calls to me have been overwhelming. They sometimes call at inappropriate times -- day and night. Ignoring them or not returning calls didn't work. Ed sent me texts, and I finally responded with "Please don't call me anymore," but his calls continue.

I changed my phone number, but now I'm starting to get calls where I work, and they have even called my daughter's phone. I know Ed is retired now and has some health issues, but I don't know why I'm the one he calls when he's bored and wants someone to talk to.

I have reached the point where I don't think it is possible to continue this friendship if it's going to involve multiple phone calls each day and 20 messages in my mailbox during the week. How do I get these nice people to give me some space? -- SMOTHERED IN CARROLLTON, GA.

DEAR SMOTHERED: How sad. Multiple daily phone calls and 20 email messages a week after you have asked the person not to contact you isn't normal behavior. It's harassment. In light of your long friendship with this couple, and the fact that Ed's behavior is escalating, call his wife. Explain that you are concerned about her husband's behavior and urge her to have him evaluated by his doctor.

TO MY ASIAN READERS: The Lunar New Year begins today. It's the Year of the Snake. According to Asian culture, individuals born in the year of the snake are goal-oriented and hate failure. They are excellent mediators -- intelligent, refined, clever in business and good providers because they value material wealth. A healthy, happy and prosperous New Year to you all. (Hiss, hiss, hooray!)