DEAR ABBY: When I was 12, my family moved to New Jersey. It was a difficult time in my life. Lucky for me, I made a best friend across the street, "Janie." We spent all our time together. I loved being at her house because it was a happy one, unlike my own home. (My mom was erratic and unhappy, and it affected our whole family.)

A year later, Janie learned her family would be moving to Ohio. I was devastated. The day the moving truck came, Janie and I were inseparable. The driver was a young man in his 20s named Randy.

When Janie and her family left in their car, I sat on the curb outside my house sobbing. When the loading crew finished, Randy started the truck, then turned off the engine. He got out and came and sat beside me on the curb and told me how someday my pain would lessen.

He said I was a special person, and shared a little about his own family who was far away. Then he took a ring off his finger and said he wanted me to have it. It was a Marines ring his grandfather had given to him. He insisted I take it, gave me a hug and drove off.

When I went into my house and my mother saw the ring, she said, "What did you do to get that?" It made me feel dirty and I didn't understand why. So I sent the ring to Janie and asked her to please return it to Randy, which she did.

In the years that have followed, that man's generosity and compassion have stayed with me. It helped me to believe in myself when things in my family seemed dark. Since then, when I have seen people who were hurting, I have tried to do what Randy did -- make them feel better.

Sadly, I have never known how to find him to thank him. Randy: Wherever you are, please know how much of a difference your kindness made in my life. -- STILL GRATEFUL IN TEXAS

DEAR STILL GRATEFUL: You are living proof that what goes around comes around. One simple act of kindness made an impact on your life, but you have multiplied it many times over by continuing to pass it on.

DEAR ABBY: When setting someone up for a date, do you think it is important to share the person's race? My friends and I have no problem with interracial relationships, but other people, unfortunately, sometimes do. I would hate to put someone in a situation where a date rejected him/her or is rude because of race.

Our friend "Jena" set up a girlfriend, "Joan," who is Chinese, on a date with a white man. Joan knew what the man looked like and was fine with it, but when Jena showed the man a picture of Joan (who is gorgeous), he made an excuse and backed out. We hate to think what he may have said to Joan if he'd gone into the date "blind."

What do you think, Abby? We dislike prejudice, but we want to avoid hurting anyone in the future. -- COLORBLIND IN MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA

DEAR COLORBLIND: When arranging a blind date, the usual practice is to give each party as much information about the other as possible. Because it's part of the "package" you're offering, race should be mentioned to prevent any surprises.

However, you may have drawn the wrong conclusion about the man in this case. Has it occurred to you that he may have backed out because Joan is so gorgeous that he was intimidated? Many beautiful women have complained about having this problem.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 20-year-old college student with a great job, life ambitions and parents who love me. They raised me to think for myself and follow my dreams.

I didn't date much in high school, but a few months ago I met a wonderful young man who is in the Army. Two things about this relationship are different: First, we met on the Internet, communicated online for several weeks, then took the next step to meet in person. The second is, "Jack" is 10 years older than I am and has a son from a previous marriage.

Jack is stationed not far from me. When I met him, I realized he was everything a woman could want. I did a background check and everything he told me is true. He supports me fully in pursuing my degree and my future career. But I'm afraid to introduce him to my parents because they're old-fashioned. They are leery about people meeting on the Internet. They also want me to meet a guy closer to my age.

The more Jack and I are together, the more I realize how much I love him. I want to introduce the man I love to my family. How do I proceed with this? I am scared that my parents won't accept Jack. How can I get them to accept my choice? -- DETERMINED IN THE SOUTHWEST

DEAR DETERMINED: Your relationship with Jack appears to be progressing at warp speed. If you want your parents to accept him, you must give them an opportunity to get to know him -- and the same applies to you because this romance is fresh.

As you communicate with your parents, start mentioning Jack. Tell them he is a member of the military and how you met. Meeting someone on the Internet these days is very common and nothing to be ashamed of.

The longer you continue keeping his existence a secret, the more concerned and disappointed your parents will be when you spring him on them. They will want to meet him and you should introduce him. After that, the selling job will be his. Keep your cool. You are your parents' little girl and always will be. But the decision of who you'll wind up with is your own to make, not theirs.

DEAR ABBY: Most people recognize chest pain as a symptom of heart attack, as well as pain or numbness in the arm or shortness of breath. But did you know that a feeling of "doom" or back pain could also be signs of a heart attack?

An article in our local paper reported that most people do not recognize other warning signs of a heart attack. They include: a sense of doom, back pain, sweating, nausea or vomiting, dizziness or lightheadedness, weakness, fatigue or malaise, and jaw or neck pain.

My mother, age 87, who had never had back trouble and hadn't strained her back muscles in any way, suddenly developed back pain that the usual over-the-counter pain pills couldn't stop. Two days later, the pain moved to her chest, and that's when we took her to the emergency room. We would have gotten her there two days sooner if anyone had told us that heart attack pain could begin in the back. Please, Abby, let your readers know these other symptoms. -- THANKFUL READER IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR THANKFUL: Forewarned is forearmed. I'm printing your helpful letter for all to see. Thank you for wanting to alert others to the sometimes subtle warning signs of a heart attack. Your warning may have saved some lives today.

DEAR ABBY: A great man once said, "A life without love is no life at all." So many people find love in so many ways, either through arranged marriages or at social events, school or college.

I have always been a hopeless romantic, but since the end of my eight-year relationship, my heart no longer feels the same. I feel as though love will never find me.

I know people say when it happens you will know, but my question is: How do you really know? And when that time does ever come, how do you prepare your heart for love after a tragic loss? -- TRYING TO GO ON

DEAR TRYING: I'm sorry for your loss and heartache. But unless your lover was wrenched from you by death, you should do what people of both sexes must when a romance ends -- ask yourself why and what you have learned from it.

The failure of a romance doesn't mean that love will never happen again. You will know you have found love when you meet someone who makes you feel strong instead of dependent, who appreciates you for the person you are and isn't threatened by your successes, who supports you when you're down, takes pride in your accomplishments, and will hug you even after a difficult day. And it shouldn't take "preparation," just a willingness to risk putting yourself out there and a little good luck.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I live more than 1,000 miles away from our family. When our relatives fly out to visit us, should we feel obligated to let them use one of our cars to travel/tour while they are here? (Money is not an issue.) In most cases, they may be on the other side of the state for several days, leaving my husband and me to share a car. It is an inconvenience because my husband and I leave for work at different times.

However, this isn't my only concern. Will insurance cover our car if they have an accident in it?

When we visit them, we drive their car within city limits only, and when it's convenient for them. Please reply ASAP because they're coming here soon. -- STRESSED OUT IN COLORADO

DEAR STRESSED OUT: Because money is not an issue, I assume that your relatives can afford to rent a car during their visit. The same rules should apply to them that apply to you in a similar situation. Your car should be for your own convenience, since you and your husband need transportation to work.

As to the insurance liability should someone have an accident while driving your vehicle, the person to ask is your insurance broker.

DEAR ABBY: I have a dear friend who recently remarried. He has always said that what he and his late wife worked for should go to their children. However, I have just learned that his prenup wasn't signed until after their marriage. Also, it was drawn up by an accountant, not a lawyer.

I always thought that a prenup was an agreement to specific conditions before a marriage. Am I right, and is a prenup valid if it is signed after the wedding? -- CURIOUS IN KANSAS CITY

DEAR CURIOUS: A document like the one you have described is called a postnuptial agreement. It should have been drafted by your friend's attorney, then reviewed by an attorney representing the wife to be sure she fully understood what she was signing. If she did not, then it may not be legal and enforceable.