DEAR ABBY: I'm a 20-year-old college student with a great job, life ambitions and parents who love me. They raised me to think for myself and follow my dreams.

I didn't date much in high school, but a few months ago I met a wonderful young man who is in the Army. Two things about this relationship are different: First, we met on the Internet, communicated online for several weeks, then took the next step to meet in person. The second is, "Jack" is 10 years older than I am and has a son from a previous marriage.

Jack is stationed not far from me. When I met him, I realized he was everything a woman could want. I did a background check and everything he told me is true. He supports me fully in pursuing my degree and my future career. But I'm afraid to introduce him to my parents because they're old-fashioned. They are leery about people meeting on the Internet. They also want me to meet a guy closer to my age.

The more Jack and I are together, the more I realize how much I love him. I want to introduce the man I love to my family. How do I proceed with this? I am scared that my parents won't accept Jack. How can I get them to accept my choice? -- DETERMINED IN THE SOUTHWEST

DEAR DETERMINED: Your relationship with Jack appears to be progressing at warp speed. If you want your parents to accept him, you must give them an opportunity to get to know him -- and the same applies to you because this romance is fresh.

As you communicate with your parents, start mentioning Jack. Tell them he is a member of the military and how you met. Meeting someone on the Internet these days is very common and nothing to be ashamed of.

The longer you continue keeping his existence a secret, the more concerned and disappointed your parents will be when you spring him on them. They will want to meet him and you should introduce him. After that, the selling job will be his. Keep your cool. You are your parents' little girl and always will be. But the decision of who you'll wind up with is your own to make, not theirs.

DEAR ABBY: Most people recognize chest pain as a symptom of heart attack, as well as pain or numbness in the arm or shortness of breath. But did you know that a feeling of "doom" or back pain could also be signs of a heart attack?

An article in our local paper reported that most people do not recognize other warning signs of a heart attack. They include: a sense of doom, back pain, sweating, nausea or vomiting, dizziness or lightheadedness, weakness, fatigue or malaise, and jaw or neck pain.

My mother, age 87, who had never had back trouble and hadn't strained her back muscles in any way, suddenly developed back pain that the usual over-the-counter pain pills couldn't stop. Two days later, the pain moved to her chest, and that's when we took her to the emergency room. We would have gotten her there two days sooner if anyone had told us that heart attack pain could begin in the back. Please, Abby, let your readers know these other symptoms. -- THANKFUL READER IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR THANKFUL: Forewarned is forearmed. I'm printing your helpful letter for all to see. Thank you for wanting to alert others to the sometimes subtle warning signs of a heart attack. Your warning may have saved some lives today.

DEAR ABBY: A great man once said, "A life without love is no life at all." So many people find love in so many ways, either through arranged marriages or at social events, school or college.

I have always been a hopeless romantic, but since the end of my eight-year relationship, my heart no longer feels the same. I feel as though love will never find me.

I know people say when it happens you will know, but my question is: How do you really know? And when that time does ever come, how do you prepare your heart for love after a tragic loss? -- TRYING TO GO ON

DEAR TRYING: I'm sorry for your loss and heartache. But unless your lover was wrenched from you by death, you should do what people of both sexes must when a romance ends -- ask yourself why and what you have learned from it.

The failure of a romance doesn't mean that love will never happen again. You will know you have found love when you meet someone who makes you feel strong instead of dependent, who appreciates you for the person you are and isn't threatened by your successes, who supports you when you're down, takes pride in your accomplishments, and will hug you even after a difficult day. And it shouldn't take "preparation," just a willingness to risk putting yourself out there and a little good luck.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I live more than 1,000 miles away from our family. When our relatives fly out to visit us, should we feel obligated to let them use one of our cars to travel/tour while they are here? (Money is not an issue.) In most cases, they may be on the other side of the state for several days, leaving my husband and me to share a car. It is an inconvenience because my husband and I leave for work at different times.

However, this isn't my only concern. Will insurance cover our car if they have an accident in it?

When we visit them, we drive their car within city limits only, and when it's convenient for them. Please reply ASAP because they're coming here soon. -- STRESSED OUT IN COLORADO

DEAR STRESSED OUT: Because money is not an issue, I assume that your relatives can afford to rent a car during their visit. The same rules should apply to them that apply to you in a similar situation. Your car should be for your own convenience, since you and your husband need transportation to work.

As to the insurance liability should someone have an accident while driving your vehicle, the person to ask is your insurance broker.

DEAR ABBY: I have a dear friend who recently remarried. He has always said that what he and his late wife worked for should go to their children. However, I have just learned that his prenup wasn't signed until after their marriage. Also, it was drawn up by an accountant, not a lawyer.

I always thought that a prenup was an agreement to specific conditions before a marriage. Am I right, and is a prenup valid if it is signed after the wedding? -- CURIOUS IN KANSAS CITY

DEAR CURIOUS: A document like the one you have described is called a postnuptial agreement. It should have been drafted by your friend's attorney, then reviewed by an attorney representing the wife to be sure she fully understood what she was signing. If she did not, then it may not be legal and enforceable.

DEAR ABBY: I am an adjunct teacher in a small college in the Midwest. For the most part, my students are great, but one breaks my heart. I admire him because he has overcome some incredible obstacles. Last year, he lost a good job and had to drop out for a time. He's back now, and when I asked about his new job, he said he runs a strip club.

At first, I thought he was kidding, but he assured me he manages more than 50 ladies who, at the end of their shift, leave with their lives and their dignity. He doesn't strike me as a common street pimp and I realize he took this job to survive. I'd like to approach him outside the classroom and offer to help not just him, but his employees. I don't want to come across as a do-gooder, but I don't think this is a great career.

I know this letter may make for some funny water cooler conversations, but the truth is people who get sucked into the vice trade have a hard time getting out and often come to a bad end. Do I care about my students too much, or am I being judgmental? -- WANTS TO HELP IN ILLINOIS

DEAR WANTS: I think it's a little of both. You are well-meaning, but may have jumped to some incorrect conclusions. Managers of adult entertainment clubs are not "pimps"; they are club managers. Further, just as not all prostitutes are exotic dancers, not all exotic dancers are prostitutes. Many are single women working to support themselves and their children; others may be students trying to pay for their educations.

Before trying to "rescue" any of them, visit the club and see firsthand what is -- and is not -- going on there. If there are underage girls being forced to work there, report it to the police. If not, recognize that they are adults and able to make their own career choices. While I admire your good heart, the individuals you're worried about may not need your assistance.

DEAR ABBY: I want to ask your opinion about something. I work at a donut shop inside a college campus. I have a tip jar, and many customers are generous and share their change with me.

My problem is other people who feel entitled to the money in my tip jar. There have been instances when some of them realized they were a few cents short, so they stuck their hands in my tip jar and fished out the coins they wanted. It is not out of ignorance! The jar is clearly labeled "Tips -- Thank you." If I tell them they can't take the money, they get angry. One lady screamed at me, saying I was "selfish," and the money in the jar shouldn't be just for me!

What do you think, Abby? Am I too upset over a few cents? Or am I right to feel robbed and stand up for myself when people do this? -- DOING MY JOB ON CAMPUS

DEAR DOING MY JOB: I don't blame you for feeling robbed. Your tips are meant just for you, and you have earned every penny your customers left in recognition of your good service. What these people are doing is petty theft. Some establishments avoid this problem by leaving a small container of pennies on the counter. Please suggest it to your boss.