DEAR ABBY: I am a woman in my early 20s and in my first serious relationship. I adore "Paul." We have a wonderful, respectful relationship. One day I hope we'll be married.
I feel strongly that we should not live together before we are married. He disagrees. He feels couples need to know each other's habits fully before they make a lifelong commitment.
I understand the financial and emotional convenience of sharing a home with your loved one. However, I believe that marriage changes a living dynamic whether you have lived together or not. Conflicts that arise post-marriage can be faced with a greater sense of resolve, knowing that a formal commitment has been made.
Abby, what's your take on this? Should couples live together before marriage? I don't want to be stubborn and say I'll never live with anyone before getting married, because I know it's a very common thing to do. What can I say to Paul and friends who disagree with me to defend my "old-fashioned" logic? -- TRADITIONALIST IN CHICAGO
DEAR TRADITIONALIST: I don't think you should argue with them on the subject at all. Just say that although many couples live together today without marriage, you aren't comfortable with it. You are not the only person who feels this way. Many people with strong religious convictions feel the way you do about it. In my opinion, this is something that couples should work out between themselves.