DEAR ABBY: I'm the youngest of three children and I'll be graduating from high school in the spring. My parents always seemed happy with each other. They were obviously in love, and they told my brothers and me they would never get divorced. Although they had arguments, they always made up, and it never seemed to be serious.

For the last few months, my dad has been acting weird. He spends a lot of time talking to and texting "a friend" on the phone. The problem is, although the friend has a male name ("George") in his contacts, the person has a female voice. I didn't think anything about it until recently, when I turned on Dad's phone to play a game and it was open to a series of text messages between him and this "friend." What I saw made it clear that something is up. Mom knows nothing about it.

I love my father, but I don't think I can handle this. I can't believe he'd do this to our family, especially since all of us are going through a really hard time lately.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to tell anyone because I don't want our family to fall apart. But I can't stay quiet. What should I do? -- BLINDSIDED IN JERSEY

DEAR BLINDSIDED: I agree that you can't keep quiet about this. What you saw was, of course, shocking -- and the person you should talk to about it is your father. Sometimes when people are going through a really tough time, they do things they wouldn't ordinarily do. Your mother may -- or may not -- have an inkling that something is going on.

Ask your father if the text means he plans to leave the family. Then give him a deadline to come clean with your mother, and let him know that if he doesn't, you will. You have my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: My husband was sober for 14 years. He started drinking again two years ago. He's on probation and drinking is a clear violation of his probation. His liver enzymes are elevated, and I can't seem to find the right words to get his attention. I have thought about contacting his probation officer, but then he will be incarcerated.

Abby, I am watching the man I love drink himself to death and I'm afraid for him. Should I tell his probation officer or just watch him self-destruct? -- SCARED AND CONFUSED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR SCARED: The reason you can't get your husband's attention is because of the alcohol. He isn't thinking straight. As I am sure you realize, one of the hallmarks of addiction is denial. No one helps an alcoholic by enabling the person to continue drinking, and your husband definitely needs help.

While it may not be easy, talk to the probation officer so your husband can be incarcerated, dry out and become rational again. I know it is a painful choice, but watching him die of liver disease would be worse.

DEAR ABBY: Can you answer something for me? If the abbreviation for "mister" is "Mr.," then why is there an R in "Mrs." when there's no R in the word it's short for? -- INQUISITIVE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR INQUISITIVE: According to my America Heritage Dictionary (4th Edition), "'Mrs.' is the abbreviation of the word 'mistress'" -- an antiquated term for a married or widowed woman.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I run a restaurant in a small town. Recently, my wife came home on my day off and told me that during the lunch hour, one of our servers had come into the kitchen and announced that they'd need extra sanitizer on table 29 because a mother was changing her baby on it!

What has happened in our society that people don't understand that this is unsanitary and rude? Had I been there, I don't know that I could have kept a civil tongue, and I feel like people today regard my disgust as unreasonable. Is there something I'm missing here? -- CAFE CRAZY

DEAR "CRAZY": I don't know who you have been talking to, but your disgust is not "unreasonable." What that mother was missing was common sense and courtesy for those around her. I agree that changing a baby on a restaurant table was out of the ballpark -- particularly if a changing table was available in the women's restroom of your cafe. (I'm assuming there is one, but if there isn't, the situation should be immediately rectified.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Gene," and I were married for five years until our divorce six months ago. We still live together and are dating each other. We had so many issues, I felt there needed to be a fresh start, including filing for divorce and living apart.

Now that we have started over, moved away from our hometown and gotten rid of several "friends," our issues are gone and we're financially stable. In fact, our relationship is better than ever.

Since things are now worked out, I'd like us to get remarried. I told him before our divorce that I hoped we could resolve things and marry again. Now he's not sure, because he says if we got divorced again, he couldn't bear the hurt. He says he still doesn't understand why our "fresh start" included a divorce.

Abby, we love each other. We want to be together forever and have children. I don't want to be dating my ex-husband indefinitely. Do you have advice for us? -- GOING NOWHERE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR GOING NOWHERE: I sure do. In the interest of solidifying your fresh start, you and Gene should sign up for some premarital counseling. If you do, you may be able to help him understand why you felt the way you did. With counseling, you can sure that your problems are fully resolved, and it may reassure him that this time there won't be another divorce. If you are thinking about a religious ceremony, the officiant may even require it.

DEAR ABBY: My sister and mother went to a movie recently. My sister became concerned that her husband and kids were locked out of the house, so she quickly took out her phone and texted her husband. It took less than 30 seconds.

A minute later a large man came down the stairs of the theater, got right in her face and began berating her -- telling her she was rude for pulling out her phone. It was so upsetting that she and Mom got up and left.

I understand that she should have stepped out of the theater to text. However, the man caused more of a scene than her texting did. What makes people think it is OK to treat people badly? -- HOLLY IN KOKOMO

DEAR HOLLY: The same thing that made your sister think it was OK to use her cellphone in a darkened theater. She's lucky that all she got was a lecture because these days many people have short fuses.

DEAR ABBY: I cut my father out of my life years ago, after he declared he could not support my decision to adopt three children from a Russian orphanage with my longtime companion. The adoption announcement coincided with my "coming out" to Dad, who is now married to his third wife.

It must have been a lot for him to take in at one time. He told me plainly that he could not support my decision because he could not "understand" it. He has never met our children, and does not acknowledge them as his grandchildren.

This year on Father's Day, I sent him a card and he replied by email that he was glad to hear from me and he hoped for a reconciliation, but was not sure how to go about it. I responded by email that I was cautiously optimistic that we could reignite a respectful relationship.

I haven't heard back from him and I suspect it's because he saw that I had changed my last name from his to my husband's, a decision I made after our marriage. My father was not aware that I had gotten married. I think I have overwhelmed him again, which has rendered him speechless. Please advise me on how to proceed. -- PRODIGAL SON IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SON: Call your father, tell him you love him and that you would like to schedule a visit with him -- but would like to send him some reading material before you do. Then contact PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). The phone number is 202-467-8180 and you'll find them on the Internet at www.pflag.org. They will be happy to provide you with literature for your dad to help him "understand." Frankly, he has my sympathy because before you hit him with the "double whammy," he didn't have a clue about who you really are.

Whether your name change overwhelmed him or not is irrelevant. The ball is now in your court, so if you want to have a hope of a relationship with your father, you will have to make the next move.

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, I proposed to the woman who changed me for the better. I love her with all my heart, but after we had been engaged for only four days everything came to a stop. Her mother was against the marriage, and my fiancee wasn't strong enough to follow her heart. We had been in a relationship for more than nine years, most of it long distance except for the last two years.

I couldn't understand her change of heart, and I tried with all my might to find some middle ground. "Claudette" has three children from her first marriage, and I had become a part of their lives and an important family friend.

After getting no reason for calling off the wedding, I began texting her for an answer only to be arrested for cyber-stalking. I know in my heart from letters sent back and forth that this wasn't Claudette's idea, but I can't let go. I know she's the one for me. We made a great couple, but her mother couldn't stand the fact that we were so close. How do I let her go? -- GRIEVING IN FLORIDA

DEAR GRIEVING: You may not believe this, but you're a lucky man. It may take the help of a psychologist for you to disengage emotionally and move on. Given that you wound up in trouble with the law, this would be a wise decision.

It might also help to envision what it would have been like being married not only to Claudette, but also to her mother -- because they appear to be joined at the hip, and the part that's doing the thinking isn't your former fiancee. This may be the reason that her first marriage failed.