DEAR ABBY: I have a friend, "Dick," who wears veteran hats -- "Vietnam Vet," "Proud to Be a Marine," etc. -- that imply he was in the service. The problem is, Dick was never in any branch of the military at any time.

Dick claims he's "honoring" them by wearing the hats. But when he goes into a restaurant or other place that offers military discounts, he always inquires about them. And he has never refused the offer of one or admitted he wears the slogans only to honor others and was never actually in the service himself.

I come in contact with real military service people who deserve to wear these hats. I asked a couple of them about what to do with Dick, but you can't print their responses. Abby, what's your take? -- VALUES HONESTY IN OHIO

DEAR VALUES HONESTY: The fact that I can't print the reaction of legitimate veterans to what Dick is doing indicates how offensive and wrong it is. It appears your friend is a small-time, chiseling con man who takes advantage of people's patriotism. Why you would call someone like this a "friend" is puzzling, because you seem to have a well-developed sense of right and wrong.

A word of advice: Sooner or later, people like Dick are discovered. When that happens, it would be better if you weren't around, because people are judged by the company they keep.

DEAR ABBY: I am dating a wonderful man, "Andrew," who has two sons, ages 10 and 12. Both of them have horrible table manners. Eating with them is like watching pigs at a trough. I have discussed this with Andrew, who agrees but has done nothing to correct them.

I don't know how to instill proper eating manners in the boys without coming across as though I'm better than they are. Do you have any suggestions? -- THE NAPKIN GOES ON THE LAP

DEAR NAPKIN: You can't blame the boys for not knowing something they were never taught. However, lecturing them at this point would be counterproductive and could cause a rift between you and your boyfriend.

Enlist Andrew's help and discuss with his sons the difference between "casual" table manners and those that are expected when people dine in public or at a friend's house. You and Andrew should also "mention" how good the food is at some of the local restaurants. This will give the boys an incentive when you both offer to take them if they learn what's expected in public.

Tell them you're willing to teach them, explain the rules, model the behavior and help them practice. Then reward them by taking them to the restaurants and praising them if they do well.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 56-year-old man who made some bad decisions when I was 16. I stole items from a close family member to pay for a drug habit. After 30 years of sobriety, what I did continues to cause me grief and torment.

I am torn over confessing to this family member because I know that when I do, any relationship between us will end. Do I confess to clear my conscience, or do I remain silent and tormented by what I did? -- DISTRAUGHT IN TEXAS

DEAR DISTRAUGHT: I think, deep down, you already know the answer to that question, so I'll give you the final push you're asking for to do the right thing. One of the 12 steps in AA is to make amends to the people you have hurt. You are no longer the person you were at 16, so apologize and show you are willing to take responsibility for what you did. It will end your torment -- and you may find that the revelation is nowhere near as shocking as you think it will be.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 14 and my dad is in the military, so he's away from home most of the time. I try to help Mom out as best I can, knowing she's stressed with Dad gone.

Whenever she gets mad at me, she calls me a "brat," "selfish" or a "jerk." She even told me once or twice that if she was my age, she wouldn't want to be my friend because of the way I act.

Abby, please help me. I have always tried my hardest to do what's right. How do I handle this without crying myself to sleep? -- FEELS LIKE A FAILURE

DEAR FEELS LIKE A FAILURE: Sometimes when people are under stress, as your mother is right now, they say things they don't mean. And sometimes when teens are under stress, they can act out in other ways.

A way to handle this would be to wait until your mother has calmed down and talk to her about the effect that her name-calling is having on you. Explain that you're trying the hardest you can in a difficult situation, and then both of you should apologize to each other. The bruises that unkind words can leave sometimes outlast those that are physical.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend, "Kathie," has betrayed me. This may sound silly, but my husband and I have a sort of "coat of arms." Ever since we started writing letters and notes back and forth, he has always drawn a character on them, and it turned into "our" symbol.

Kathie is in the armed forces and I made her my maid of honor. But when she showed up, she had that same character tattooed on her back! My husband was upset she chose something so intimate of ours as a tattoo, and a few people have noticed it as well. I don't know how to handle this. It feels like a slap in the face. -- ROBBED IN FLORIDA

DEAR ROBBED: It isn't a slap in the face -- it's actually the ultimate compliment to your husband's artistry and creativity. And while it would have been nice if Kathie had first asked permission, unless the symbol was trademarked she was free to use it, as is anyone else who sees it on her and admires it. Because her tattoo is offensive to you, ask her to keep it covered when she's with you. What's done is done.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 38-year-old wife and mother who has been happily married for 16 years. My young son recently had a medical emergency in his class at school, and his teacher, "Tom," stepped in and saved him.

Since then I can't stop thinking about Tom. I love my husband and I don't plan on seeing or contacting Tom in any way other than as my son's teacher. How do I stop thinking about him? Please help. -- GOING CRAZY IN TENNESSEE

DEAR GOING CRAZY: First of all, you're not going crazy. You are grateful to the "hero" who saved your son. The more you try to smother your thoughts about Tom, the more they will happen.

The most effective way I know of to deal with this would be to talk out your thoughts with someone. If this would be too uncomfortable to discuss with your husband, then do it with a trusted female friend. Over time it should subside.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 38-year-old wife and mother who has been happily married for 16 years. My young son recently had a medical emergency in his class at school, and his teacher, "Tom," stepped in and saved him.

Since then I can't stop thinking about Tom. I love my husband and I don't plan on seeing or contacting Tom in any way other than as my son's teacher. How do I stop thinking about him? Please help. -- GOING CRAZY IN TENNESSEE

DEAR GOING CRAZY: First of all, you're not going crazy. You are grateful to the "hero" who saved your son. The more you try to smother your thoughts about Tom, the more they will happen.

The most effective way I know of to deal with this would be to talk out your thoughts with someone. If this would be too uncomfortable to discuss with your husband, then do it with a trusted female friend. Over time it should subside.

DEAR ABBY: We recently learned that our son-in-law, "Mike," was fired from his job as a community service officer with the county. He committed second-degree criminal sexual assault on two women inmates he was supervising and is now in the process of going to court. We hope he'll be convicted and sent away so our daughter can put her life together.

This has torn our family apart. We don't know how to get through to her that she deserves so much better than this. She refuses to divorce him even though this was happening during their marriage and her pregnancy, She claims she's not being abused, but we have seen how controlling Mike has been throughout their courtship and marriage.

How can we help her realize that life without him would be so much better and that sex offenders are never really "cured"? They tell us they are "constantly praying" and that "God has already forgiven" him for what he has done. Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated. -- WORRIED PARENTS

DEAR WORRIED PARENTS: Your son-in-law's abuse of his authority is appalling. But as long as he's still around and "constantly praying" (probably more for a sympathetic jury than forgiveness for what he did to those women), you won't get through to your daughter.

Fortunately, the justice system has sentencing guidelines for men who abuse their power the way Mike has, and he may be going away for a long, long time. Once he's gone, start talking to your daughter about counseling to deal with the trauma she has been through, and let a mental health professional shed some light on this. If the message comes from a person with no bias, it stands a better chance of getting through.

P.S. I wholeheartedly agree she would be better off without him.

DEAR ABBY: I live in Arizona where the temperature can hit 100 degrees and we get 300-plus days of sunshine every year. I always have my 5-month-old son wear his sunglasses when he goes outside, and I get the most asinine comments from total strangers! Everything from "Can I have his autograph?" to "Does he think he's cool?" How can they be so dumb? People, tiny eyes need protection too! -- A NEW MOMMY

DEAR NEW MOMMY: The individuals you describe aren't "dumb"; they are making a failed attempt at humor. However, I showed your letter to Beverly Hills ophthalmologist Peter Cornell, M.D., who told me:

"It's ideal for everyone -- regardless of age -- to protect their eyes from ultraviolet light. And it's advisable for babies to be protected when they're outside. But it is not as 'crucial' with children as it is for older individuals, because their bodies are better able to repair oxidative damage. That said, ultraviolet light is not the friend of anyone's eyes."

DEAR ABBY: I was married recently but kept my maiden name. As wedding gifts, we received two sets of towels monogrammed with my husband's last initial, and a plaque for the front of the house -- "House of (his last name), Established 2012."

While we appreciate this generosity, I'm sure we will not put the items to use. (The plaque was from a close family member on my husband's side who knew I would be keeping my name.) How do we handle this? -- PERPLEXED NEWLYWED IN CLEVELAND

DEAR PERPLEXED: Here's how: Consign the plaque to your husband's man-cave (or toss it), use the towels for something other than display, and write a gracious thank-you to the family members who gave them to you for their thoughtfulness.