DEAR ABBY: My life has always been scary. My parents divorced when I was 3. Dad always seemed to cause trouble for Mom, who struggled to provide for me and my older sister. She always struggled with alcohol and drugs.

I have spent a portion of my life incarcerated, starting when I was a teenager. I'm now 22 and doing time for selling drugs. I have never been able to find a decent job, although I have my GED and tried to attend a school for nursing, but I screwed it up. Selling drugs seemed to be the only way to make enough to support myself.

I'd like to find a decent job with opportunity, and be able to pay my bills and save a little. I'm tired of my crazy lifestyle and want to settle down. How can I go about finding a job? Keep in mind, I don't have a resume and although I have had many jobs, I never stayed very long, and I have a criminal record. -- SERVING TIME IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR SERVING TIME: I admire that you have decided to change your life and walk the "straight and narrow" from now on. A place to start would be to talk to the prison chaplain. Some religious denominations have programs in place to help inmates and former inmates successfully transition back into society.

The oldest prison/re-entry group in the country is the Pennsylvania Prison Society. Their website is at prisonsociety.org. If they don't serve the community into which you will be released, they will know an organization that does. Their re-entry program helps former prisoners attain self-sufficiency through a four-day job readiness workshop, which teaches the skills necessary to find and keep a job. Pre-registration is recommended, and their phone number is 215-564-6005, ext. 117. Call Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.

DEAR ABBY: I had my first boyfriend when I was 16. The relationship lasted 13 years and we had a child together. Now that it's over I don't know what to do.

It has been nine months and it seems like my heartache is getting worse. I can't breathe. It feels like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and stepped on. It hurts even more because he started dating immediately after the breakup. I can't even talk to another man. I feel lost and have never been on a date with anyone but my ex.

I feel like I deprived myself of my youth. I cry every day. I can barely watch or see couples without getting depressed and breaking down. I need to see some type of light. Do you have any advice? -- DEPRIVED OF MY YOUTH

DEAR DEPRIVED: Nine months is a long time to cry every day. You have been hit with what I call a "double-whammy." You are grieving for your lost relationship, and because this was your first and only one, you never learned how to handle a broken romance.

A counselor can help you through your grieving process and, in addition, help you to build the social skills you will need to move forward. Please don't put it off. Do this not only for yourself but also for your child so you can be the most effective parent you can be.

DEAR ABBY: I am the single dad of two teenage boys (17 and 18) who are both in high school. I am wondering about something they do with their friends. The boys take showers in large groups. When they come in from running or sports, or if a group is spending the night, they shower in groups of two, three or four. It's not like we have a huge shower -- it's normal size.

I know there's nothing sexual going on because I can hear them talking and joking around. When I asked the boys about this, they looked at me like I had two heads. They said it was just a social thing and the same as showering together after football in the school gym.

They also "air dry" after showers by walking around in towels, sometimes watching TV or goofing off for hours while in their towels. When going out, they get naked in the bathroom, fixing their hair, shaving, brushing their teeth, etc. It's like a big "nude fest" with them and their friends.

While I'm glad they are comfortable with their bodies and who they are, it still bothers me somewhat. Am I being a prude in thinking this is unusual or inappropriate? -- STUMPED IN KENTUCKY

DEAR STUMPED: I see nothing inappropriate about what your sons and their friends are doing. Nor do I want to label you a prude. You are just not as comfortable in your skin as your sons and their "jock" friends are. Is it possible that they take after their mother?

DEAR ABBY: My best friend and I do everything together and I love her, so when she showed up at the gym in "booty shorts," I didn't say a word, even though they don't flatter her one bit. Heck, there's a mirror on every wall, so she must have liked what she saw, and it's none of my business.

When she wore them to a school sporting event, my husband accused me of being a "bad friend" for not telling her that her rear view was getting the wrong kind of attention. Some of the other parents in the bleachers were snickering.

I guess if the situation were reversed, I'd want my best friend to give me a hint, but I'm not exactly sure how to do it. Am I wrong to just keep my mouth shut and mind my own business? -- ANONYMOUS IN A SMALL TOWN

DEAR ANONYMOUS: Allow me to provide a couple of hints. First, tell your friend when you are alone and can't be overheard, which will spare her unnecessary embarrassment. Second, ask, "When you bought those shorts, did you get a look at yourself from the back?" If she says no, provide her with a mirror so she can look over her shoulder at herself. Then explain that at the school event, some of the other parents were staring, and not too kindly.

You will be doing her a favor to speak up. That is what friendship is all about. And if she's smart, she'll thank you.

DEAR ABBY: I met this beautiful and awesome lady last Saturday and slept with her that night. Sunday, we spent most of the day texting back and forth. I asked her to dinner on Monday and she accepted. We did more texting on Tuesday night, which I initiated.

So, my question is, how much texting and pursuing is too much in trying to hang out with this woman? I'm really interested in her. -- PRETTY COOL DUDE IN MINNESOTA

DEAR PRETTY COOL DUDE: How about giving her 24 hours to catch her breath? Because she keeps saying yes, the signs are good so far. Just be careful that in your enthusiasm your ardor doesn't come across as overwhelming. If you do all the chasing, you'll deprive her of the pleasure of chasing you back.

DEAR ABBY: Many women like surprises. Most men don't. My wife can't understand that. She recently "surprised" me by informing me she had made non-refundable arrangements for us to visit a foreign country. She said I had once mentioned that I'd like to see it. I have no recollection of saying so, but I suppose it's possible.

Abby, I am physically barely able to endure such travel. My balance is bad and walking is extremely painful for my legs and hips. I wish she would have discussed her plan with me in advance. It's possible she wanted very much to go and suspected I'd tell her it would be unwise for me to do it.

Now that we're locked in, I'll go. But if it becomes too arduous, I'll tell her that we're going to have to leave the group and return home immediately. Perhaps that would help her understand that she should talk to me about a plan that includes me before implementing it. Abby, can you comment? -- GOT AN UNWELCOME SURPRISE

DEAR SURPRISE: What your wife did was wrong; she's well aware of your physical limitations. Foreign travel isn't cheap. Before laying out sizable chunks of money, most couples discuss the expense. I think your method of handling the situation is a good one, particularly if no accommodations can be made for your disability by the company arranging the trip.

P.S. I'm advising you to get travel insurance well in advance.

DEAR ABBY: Our son and daughter-in-law have invited us for Thanksgiving in another state. We'll fly there with my husband's mother.

Recently my daughter-in-law mentioned that we may all (11 of us) be going to some sort of buffet instead of making the dinner at their home. We would also end up paying for the meal.

I would much rather cook for them than eat and pay for a Thanksgiving meal at a buffet or restaurant. How can we get this across to our son and daughter-in-law without hurting their feelings? -- NO BUFFET FOR US IN LEAVENWORTH, KAN.

DEAR NO BUFFET: How about saying it in plain English? Tell them you would be glad to prepare the dinner, and if your daughter-in-law would help you, the task wouldn't be onerous for either of you.

P.S. Unless the men are "all thumbs" in the kitchen, they could pitch in, too. Multigenerational rituals are the glue that keep a family together.

DEAR ABBY: Our son and daughter-in-law have invited us for Thanksgiving in another state. We'll fly there with my husband's mother.

Recently my daughter-in-law mentioned that we may all (11 of us) be going to some sort of buffet instead of making the dinner at their home. We would also end up paying for the meal.

I would much rather cook for them than eat and pay for a Thanksgiving meal at a buffet or restaurant. How can we get this across to our son and daughter-in-law without hurting their feelings? -- NO BUFFET FOR US IN LEAVENWORTH, KAN.

DEAR NO BUFFET: How about saying it in plain English? Tell them you would be glad to prepare the dinner, and if your daughter-in-law would help you, the task wouldn't be onerous for either of you.

P.S. Unless the men are "all thumbs" in the kitchen, they could pitch in, too. Multigenerational rituals are the glue that keep a family together.