DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 35 years. We have one daughter. My husband has this "thing" about grabbing other women's behinds. He hugs them and then goes in for a grab. It bothers me so much. It hurts my feelings and I have told him so, but he still does it.

Men have told me they don't want him touching their wives this way. Others have said it's disrespectful to me. He says he will try to stop doing it. Try? That doesn't set well with me.

What do you think about this? Am I overreacting? After all these years, I just don't know what to think. -- HANDS OFF IN ROCHESTER, N.Y.

DEAR HANDS OFF: I agree that pinching other women's bottoms is disrespectful (unless you're in Italy, where it's the norm). It appears you have spent 35 years married to an unrepentant lecher. I'd think that by now he would have trouble hugging any woman twice if she saw him with arms outstretched.

Because you can't convince your husband to change his ways, try this: When a man complains about your husband's misbehavior, tell him he should deliver that message directly to your spouse. Perhaps that will get the point across.

DEAR ABBY: I recently married a wonderful man, and I like my in-laws very much. They're nice, welcoming people and we get along well. There's just one problem: They are the biggest enablers I have ever met!

With my husband it isn't a big deal because he's very self-sufficient. On the other hand, his 30-year-old brother has lived with them for three years. He is jobless and has a drinking problem. His parents don't encourage him to look for work. They give him an allowance, pay all his court costs and drive him around because he got a DUI. They even pay his cellphone bill.

What is my place in all of this? Should I say anything? My fear is that when my husband's parents die, his brother will become our problem. -- LOOKING AHEAD IN COLORADO

DEAR LOOKING AHEAD: Don't say anything to your husband's parents. The pattern they are following is one that was set long ago, and nothing you can say will change it. It may, however, cause serious hard feelings.

The person you should talk to is your husband, so that well in advance of his parents' demise, you will be in agreement about his brother finally taking responsibility for himself or suffering the consequences of his actions.

DEAR ABBY: I love my co-workers, but several of them have an aggravating habit of walking into my office, uninvited, while I'm eating lunch at my desk. They then proceed to tell me their latest news, joke or war story.

Abby, those of us who eat at our desks do it so we can keep working and be ready to respond to work-related contacts as they come in, not to socialize. Besides, isn't it just as rude to interrupt someone while they're eating as it is while they're talking? I wish my beloved co-workers would save it for the water cooler. -- "SANDWICHED" IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR SANDWICHED: I don't think it's rude. But because you do, it's up to you to tell your well-meaning co-workers that when you're working at your desk, you'd prefer not to be interrupted because it breaks your concentration. If you speak up nicely, I'm sure they won't love you any less, and then you will love them even more.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I just got some shocking news. His father -- age 81 -- is leaving his wife of 60 years! Mom is not entirely self-sufficient and seems dependent on him.

Dad found himself a younger woman -- a "chick" of 70. He has announced that he still has sexual needs and wants to enjoy the rest of his life. My husband thinks it will be a short-term fling and he'll return to Mom, but she says she won't be taking him back. (Who knows how she'll feel later?)

My problem is, no matter what happens between them, I'm having a hard time even considering forgiving him for his selfishness. I know it's not my place as his daughter-in-law, but I don't know how I can bring myself to face him feeling as I do. Any words of wisdom? -- JUDGMENTAL JUDY IN ARIZONA

DEAR JUDGMENTAL JUDY: I do have a few. If your mother-in-law hasn't already done so, make sure she gets the best legal advice possible. After 60 years of marriage, there should be plenty of assets to split. They will make her financially independent, and from that, emotional independence will follow. Do not count her out as a weak sister just yet because she appears to be stronger than you think.

While it's possible your father-in-law may want to reunite after the fling, it is equally possible that when the "chick" sees his nest egg is cracked in half, he will be less appealing to her. Only time will tell. In the meantime, keep the peace, bide your time, and as tempting as it may be to voice everything that's on your mind, keep your lip zipped. This isn't your marriage, so don't stir the pot.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to "Tom," the love of my life, for four years. We have been together more than 10 years and have a 2-year-old daughter.

Tom was diagnosed with a terminal illness early last year and is close to the end now. He's very angry, which I understand, but he takes it out on me since I am his caregiver. I'm also a full-time student about to graduate with my degree in registered nursing, so I'm busy all the time.

Between school, my daughter and giving full care to my husband, I'm stressed out. He yells a lot about everything, from money woes to the wrong bread on his sandwich. To top it off, we haven't been intimate since our daughter was born.

I'm not considering straying from our marriage, but at times I feel I'll be ready to date as soon as he's gone. It makes me feel guilty. Is it wrong to feel this way? Do you have any advice to help me through this tragic time in our lives? -- DEPRESSED AND LONELY IN MICHIGAN

DEAR DEPRESSED: Yes. Stop beating yourself up for experiencing human emotions at a time when you're hauling a load that would crush an ox. Of course your husband is angry. He has good reason to be -- but he's misdirecting it on you.

Guilt is the last thing you need to add to what you're dealing with. It's normal to crave the closeness you haven't experienced in two years.

If there are counseling services offered at your nursing school, please avail yourself of them. Venting your feelings in a supportive environment will lighten your load and help you cope with your husband. There are also online support groups for caregivers. If you reach out in either direction, you'll feel better. It could also be helpful to ask your husband's doctor for a referral to someone who does end-of-life counseling for him.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 10 years. Early in our marriage my husband talked about wanting to try swinging. We did, and had many enjoyable experiences.

Two years ago he decided he no longer wanted to be in the lifestyle, so we stopped. The problem is, I miss it very much. I want to get back into it and have talked with him about it, but he insists we stay out of it. I am torn between going to parties behind his back, suffering my displeasure in silence because I'm not able to do something I really enjoyed, or divorcing. Can you help me figure this out? -- FOXY IN PHOENIX

DEAR FOXY: Let's review your options as a process of elimination. I don't recommend that you do anything behind your husband's back because, at some point, what you're doing is sure to come out. I also do not recommend suffering in silence because sooner or later your unhappiness will become apparent.

That leaves the option of divorce. Because you and your husband no longer see eye to eye on the issue of marital fidelity and he wants a wife who will "cleave" unto him only, it makes sense to go your separate ways so both of your needs can be met.

DEAR ABBY: The other day when I went jogging, I met a guy just as I stopped to take a water break. He started flirting and I was too tired to tell him to leave, so I decided to humor him until I cooled down enough to resume my jog.

He asked me basic questions trying to get to know me, and when I told him I was a college student, he asked for my GPA. When I told him it was none of his business, he laughed and asked what my problem was. He said no one else had complained when he asked, and he didn't mean to pry. I still felt he was being rude, so I said goodbye and jogged off before he could say anything.

Abby, I wasn't trying to hide a low GPA, but I don't think it's something to tell people in a first meeting. Is it normal for people to ask others what their GPA is -- especially if they just met? -- CO-ED IN BOSTON

DEAR CO-ED: When someone says he or she is a student, the question that usually follows is, "Where are you studying?" or "What's your major?" It's not, "What's your GPA?" which seems like a not-so-subtle way of asking whether you're a good student or not. His attempt to make conversation was clumsy -- and because he said the question is one he asks routinely, let's hope he learns from his encounter with you and scratches it off his list of pickup lines.

DEAR ABBY: I have an issue I'd like your opinion on. What should the Tooth Fairy do with baby teeth after collecting them? She stopped coming to our house years ago, but the baby teeth have been dutifully saved -- every one of them -- in a jar where the Tooth Fairy left them.

I thought I was unique in this predicament, but found out that a sister-in-law had the same dilemma. Our kids are adults now, but I don't know what I should or could do with these little keepsakes of a beautiful boy who stole my heart the minute I looked into his eyes. -- ALWAYS HIS MOM

DEAR MOM: Let's see ... You could have them mounted and display them on a charm bracelet. You could offer to sell them back to your son. Or, you could place them in an envelope and put them in a box with the curl from his first haircut and a pair of his baby shoes. One day I'm sure he'll be touched.