DEAR ABBY: I'm 15 and I really like this boy, but I can't find the courage to ask him out. I'm pretty sure he likes me, too, because whenever we're together he holds my hand or puts his arms around me.

He has a great smile and personality. We have many things in common, such as we both play an instrument, we make each other laugh and we're both close with our families. What I don't understand is why he hasn't made a move yet to ask me out. -- NEEDS LOVE HELP

DEAR NEEDS LOVE HELP: I can think of a few reasons, and none of them have anything to do with how much he likes you. He may not be able to afford to ask you out, he may feel shy, he may not feel ready to date, or his parents may prefer that he concentrate on something other than romance. Some teens get around this by socializing in groups, so instead of asking him "out," consider asking if he'd like to join you and a group of your friends sometime.

DEAR ABBY: I'm an 18-year-old woman who lives at home with my parents. I have been seeing an amazing person for a while now. There is just one problem. My mother has decided to put "rules" on our relationship.

By rules, I mean: a curfew, how often I see him, where I am to be with him and various other things. Also, she randomly blurts out that I am "never to move in with him until I am married." I don't plan on moving in with him until we both have our college degrees.

I am technically an adult, which means to me that I can make my own decisions and suffer the consequences if there are any. I know I live in my parents' home. I follow their rules and respect their wishes -- but this is a bit extreme, don't you think?

Abby, please advise me on how to explain to my mom that I'm an adult and not a newborn baby as she regards me? -- NOT A CHILD ANYMORE IN OHIO

DEAR NOT A CHILD: Although you may be an adult in the eyes of the law in Ohio, you are not independent. As long as you are dependent upon your parents for shelter, food or anything else there is a price you will have to pay. In this case, the price you are paying is your mother's loving but hawklike supervision. And if you think you or I can talk her out of it, you're dreaming.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 31-year-old wife and mother. My husband, "Jake," works 40-plus hours a week, while I am a stay-at-home mom. My daughter, who is almost 3, keeps me on my toes.

In the evenings and on weekends, Jake does yard work or works in the garden. I hate it because I'm with our daughter all day, every day, and he expects me to watch her while he's outside working.

I dislike yard and garden work and don't like being outside unless I am completely comfortable. I also have health/physical issues that keep me from being as active as I would like. Every weekend I feel my resentment and anger growing over this issue.

Jake says it is necessary for us to have a garden, and I agree. But why must I have all the responsibility of caring for our daughter even on weekends? I'd like it if Jake would stay in with us and give up on some of the outside activities. This is something we argue about at least once a week. What do you suggest? -- SECOND TO A SHRUB IN OREGON

DEAR SECOND TO A SHRUB: While tending to the yard and the garden may be necessary, it is also very important for your husband to devote some time to nurturing his relationship with his daughter. Mention that fact to him, and while you're at it, tell him she should be at least as important to him as the tomato plants and the zinnias. You should not be saddled with all the child care responsibilities 24/7. Marriages are like gardens. If they're not given care and feeding, they will wither as yours appears to be doing.

DEAR ABBY: I'm engaged and being married soon. I have always had very close non-romantic relationships with males. I was raised around guys, so it's natural for me.

People told me that when I fell in love with someone it would be easier to let my male friendships fall by the wayside. This hasn't been the case.

These friendships are the ones I prefer now more than ever. The conversations are better. I find men more emotionally stable than women. They also let me talk without interrupting to give their opinions as women do.

I love my fiance dearly and he has been incredibly understanding about this, but I can tell it upsets him. I have been known to talk all night with friends, especially when I'm overwhelmed. My fiance is hurt that I don't come to him with these issues, but he's in medical school and has his own stress.

Do I need to eliminate these friendships that come so naturally to me for the sake of my husband-to-be? Is it inappropriate for me to have close male friends after I'm married? -- PREFERS MEN

DEAR PREFERS MEN: Why are you presenting the issue as all or nothing? It's not. Nor is it inappropriate for you to keep close male friendships after you marry -- because that has been your lifelong practice.

However, I do think some behavior modification is in order. The first thing you should do is cut out the all-night dump sessions with these men.

For one thing, the man you marry should be your best friend and the person you go to first to express your concerns when you're overwhelmed. This is part of intimacy, and he may be feeling hurt and shut out because you are denying that to him.

For another, he may have concerns of his own that he'd like to discuss with you. Being on the phone all night talking to someone else is really neglectful of the man you love.

DEAR ABBY: I have to respond to your reply to "Tammi's Mom in N.J." (June 21), whose daughter won't answer her texts at college. Our daughter, "Jill," attended college 12 hours from home. She would text me almost every day -- short, sweet messages always ending with "Luv U, XOXO." I looked forward to those texts because they were a lifeline to my daughter.

Tammi's Mom is coping with empty nest syndrome, which no child can understand until she experiences it one day herself. Thankfully, Jill knew how much her texts meant to me. They got me through four long years without her. I hope Tammi sees this and appreciates that she has a mom who isn't smothering her, but who loves and cares about her. -- REMEMBERING IN JOHNSTOWN, PA.

DEAR REMEMBERING: Thank you for sharing. I stressed to Tammi's Mom that her daughter is growing up and trying to establish independence. However, readers were quick to point out that Tammi still owes her mother the courtesy of keeping in touch:

DEAR ABBY: When I was away at college, many students expected their parents to pay their tuition and living expenses, but stay out of their lives. Tammi's Mom said she'd be happy with a call or text every two or three days. I don't think that is unreasonable.

I have lived several hundred miles away from my family for 10 years now. I enjoy a great deal of independence, but I know it worries my parents to have me so far away. I call them every day or two. These quick phone calls (usually only five minutes) help them see that I'm safe and happy, and also allow me to remain emotionally close to my family, even though I'm not geographically close.

Abby, asking for a quick text, which takes only a few moments, is not "helicopter parenting." -- INDEPENDENT GIRL IN ARIZONA

DEAR ABBY: To Tammi's Mom, I say -- it's time to get a life! Do things now that you've always wanted to do. If you're married, find things in common again. Sometimes when we raise our kids, we can become consumed with their wants and needs, and our marriages suffer.

Take up a new hobby and let your baby bird spread her wings. She'll thank you for it and will want to call you when you stop calling or texting every day. If you get yourself busy, you'll spend less time sitting by the phone. -- KNOWS FROM EXPERIENCE

DEAR ABBY: Until recently, I had two children in college -- one close to home, the other several hours away. Unfortunately, there is so much violence everywhere today and kids are vulnerable to it, especially around many colleges and universities.

Kids send hundreds of text messages a day to their friends. I don't think it's too much to ask for an occasional text from your child to make sure he or she is indeed safe. -- BILL IN BLOOMSBURY, N.J.

DEAR ABBY: When my daughter left for college, I told her I was not going to call her because I didn't want to intrude on her new life, but that I would be happy to talk to her anytime she called me. Doing this empowered my somewhat rebellious girl by putting her in charge. As a result, she would call me several times a week and our relationship was strengthened. -- WISE PARENT IN COLORADO

DEAR ABBY: While I was away at college, my dad was like Tammi's Mom, and it drove me nuts. So we compromised. Every Sunday morning at 9, Dad and I would talk on the phone. That way he could catch up on my week and know I was OK. Mom needs to give her daughter space. -- COLLEGE GRAD IN ILLINOIS

DEAR ABBY: If Tammi's Mom is paying for her daughter's phone, the girl should answer when Mom calls. I told my daughter if she ever ignored my calls or texts again, I would have her phone turned off. We chat a lot now. -- DAD WHO PAYS IN GEORGIA