DEAR ABBY: I am writing hoping to avert another tragedy like we experienced last week. Our German shepherd, Leah, was playing with a hard rubber ball the size of a tennis ball. Somehow, the ball slid down her throat. I tried to dislodge it by grabbing and pulling it out, then I tried the Heimlich maneuver. Neither worked. By the time we got Leah to the veterinarian, she was dead. They tried for 25 minutes to revive her.

Leah was a friendly, funny, loving dog, not yet 2 years old. We miss her terribly. Abby, please tell your readers to never, ever let their dog play with any object that fits into its mouth. If it fits, it can lodge in the throat. I don't want anyone else to experience the pain of losing their dog like we lost ours. -- KAREN IN CENTER VALLEY, PA.

DEAR KAREN: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your beloved pet. However, because you wrote to other dog owners, take comfort in the knowledge that you have very likely saved another four-footed family member's life.

DEAR ABBY: My well-meaning mother continues to give me "classics" from her wardrobe that she no longer wears. I'm a size 6 to 8 in my 50s. Mom is in her 80s and wears 12 to 14. Our sense of style is also not the same.

My problem is, after insisting I take these items, she'll often ask for them back several years later. It becomes awkward when I must explain I gave her clothes away. How can I politely stop her from gifting me these items? -- NO LONGER HAS THEM

DEAR NO LONGER HAS THEM: Say, "Mom, these things won't fit me. But I'll be glad to drop them off at a charity thrift shop for you." It's honest, it's practical, and someone can enjoy them.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married three years, and we are both lucky to have families that are kind and supportive. However, there is one recurring issue with his family that I find annoying.

Nobody in my husband's family has a driver's license or owns a car. This includes his two aunts and mother, who all live in the same town we do. As the only driver in the family, I am regularly asked to shuttle relatives to the doctor, the pet groomer, the grocery store, etc.

Abby, none of them have any physical or mental disability that prevents them from driving. We live in a city with a number of cab companies that serve the area. I work hard so I can pay my car insurance bills, my car payments and buy gas to get to where I need to. I'm starting to resent being asked to drive three able-bodied adults who are perfectly capable of driving themselves or taking a taxi.

Am I being inconsiderate? Is there a way to politely convey that I do not wish to play chauffeur? -- DRIVEN CRAZY IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR DRIVEN CRAZY: Yes, there is -- and because these are his relatives, your husband should be the one to tell them that you have been generous enough and it's time for them to arrange other transportation.

DEAR ABBY: My father died eight years ago. Mother couldn't afford to bury him at the time, so he was cremated. Mom asked me to keep his ashes until her time was up so they could be buried together.

I have had them ever since. It makes me feel like he is still with me, that I have not totally lost him. However, over the last year, my brothers and sisters have led my mother to believe that I won't respect her wishes to have them buried together when the time comes. She is pressuring me to bury him now. It hurts me that my family could even think I would take that away from my mother.

To this day, my siblings say mean things about Dad, claiming he was a "terrible" father and husband. I'm a lot younger than the rest of them, so it's possible I never saw the bad side of him. The father I knew was a caring, loving man, and it drives me crazy to hear my siblings speak ill of him. They don't remember his birthday, the date of his death or even how long ago it was.

Abby, I don't know what to do. If I go ahead and bury my dad's ashes now, I feel I will be losing him completely. Please help me. I feel so lost. -- SAD AND MISUNDERSTOOD DAUGHTER

DEAR DAUGHTER: Perhaps there is a way to satisfy everybody. Before returning your father's ashes to your mother and siblings for burial, take a small portion to keep for yourself. Your feelings are not all that unusual -- and contrary to popular belief, not all ashes are scattered or buried. Sometimes they are retained for decades by family members who are not yet ready to part with them.

DEAR ABBY: About a year ago, I began a part-time job for extra cash. My manager and I developed an attraction for each other that soon led to a sexual relationship. The problem is that he's married with two children, and he is significantly older than me.

I know now that this has to end. I have no emotional ties to him, but I think he is starting to care for me. I can't quit the job because a family member got it for me, and it would seem suspicious if I quit.

Please respond soon because I am trying desperately to avoid being alone with him, and it's becoming more and more difficult. How do I end the affair and remain on decent terms with this man? -- NEEDS A QUICK OUT

DEAR NEEDS: It's difficult to remain on decent terms after there has been indecent exposure, but tell your manager your conscience demands that the hanky-panky stop. Then, if he tries to get you alone, tell him, "Nothing doing -- I've turned over a new leaf."

I'm sure he'll find a way to handle the rejection. If it breaks his heart, he can seek comfort from his wife, from whom he shouldn't have strayed in the first place.

DEAR ABBY: I'm going into junior high. I'm a straight-A student and get my homework and projects done. But I'm not that organized. I always put my assignments away, but when I need them, they're never there!

My mom complains to me about it and calls me a troll. My room isn't so hot, either. What can I do? -- THE TROLL IN ST. PETE

DEAR TROLL: The time to get organized is now. Begin by cleaning your room and making sure you have a study area that is not messy. After that, you should always put your projects and completed assignments in one spot, and they won't be lost. You'll be able to find them easily once you have only one place to look.

DEAR ABBY: I am 20 years younger than my husband. I am also attractive and sexually available to him. We have a great relationship except for one thing. I can't trust him! I have caught him emailing women he met at work, inviting our neighbor to go with him on a motorcycle ride and heard many stories about him asking women on dates.

But the worst was when I found out he was calling a woman every day and going to her house when I was at work. When I confronted him he said nothing sexual happened, but he moved out for a month.

Why does he feel he has to have other women? I really believe some men are cheaters no matter what. Oh, yeah -- I'm his fourth wife. He cheated on the others, too. How can I make him want only me? -- CHEATED ON IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR CHEATED ON: You can't. It may give you some comfort to know that the behavior you have described has nothing to do with you or your level of desirability. It is compulsive. You were naive to think if you married a serial cheater that he would be a faithful husband to you. The only person who can "make" him think differently is him, and before that can happen, he will have to realize he needs to change.

DEAR ABBY: I have been a single mother for seven years raising a wonderful 16-year-old daughter. She is an honor student, works part-time and is very mature. I am dating an older man, "Gary," who has grown children.

Gary feels my daughter is old enough to spend a couple of nights a week alone in our house, while I spend the night with him. His house is 14 miles away. I live in a safe neighborhood, but the idea of leaving her alone makes me very uncomfortable. This is causing a rift between Gary and me. He feels I am having a hard time "cutting the apron strings." Is he right? -- SINGLE MOM IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR SINGLE MOM: Inform Gary you are not ready to "cut the apron strings" because you don't want your relationship with your daughter to turn to shreds. Although you say your daughter is mature, you are responsible for her safety and welfare until she turns 18. And that includes setting a good example for her.

DEAR ABBY: I'm expecting my first child in three months and I am definitely showing. I work in a retirement community, and every day one or more of the residents makes it his or her business to tell me I'm "just getting sooo big!" and then asks if I'm sure "there aren't twins in there." I find their comments rude.

What's the appropriate response to people who make unwelcome comments about my size? I want to tell them that stating the obvious is unnecessary. They wouldn't comment about someone's size who wasn't pregnant, so why is it acceptable in my case? -- EXPECTING IN MARYLAND

DEAR EXPECTING: Although you find the comments unwelcome, I'm sure the residents are only trying to be friendly and join in the excitement of another life coming into the world. They are not meant to be insulting and you shouldn't regard them in that light. All you should do is smile, pat your tummy and say, "Not according to the sonogram!" and move on.