DEAR ABBY: I started dating my boyfriend a month ago. On our third date he informed me that he was previously married. It lasted two years and he has been divorced for almost a year. It didn't bother me, so I let it go.

He introduced me to his two roommates -- one of them is female. After spending a day with them, I noticed he had an odd relationship with her. When I asked him about it later, he said she's his ex-wife. They live together and share basically everything, including groceries and a laptop. He can't seem to understand why I'm disturbed by this.

He says the decision to divorce was mutual and that they have both been seeing other people for a while. I adore him and hate to end a fantastic relationship because I'm jealous. I have no life experience to prepare me to handle this sort of situation, so I don't know what to do. Help! -- TAKEN ABACK IN PITTSBURGH

DEAR TAKEN ABACK: Sometimes when a person doesn't know what to do, the best thing to do is -- nothing. Your relationship is very new. Stay calm and see how it develops. If you both decide to take it to the next level, the living arrangements may change to something you're more comfortable with.

DEAR ABBY: My 70-something-year-old mother is being remarried soon. I'm happy she has found love again after my father's passing. Several of her friends are throwing her a lingerie shower to celebrate. Abby, I am uncomfortable attending this party.

I asked that she exclude me from the list, but yesterday I received an invitation. Hooray! She has a new life which involves new love. I just don't want to think of my mother in that role. Am I wrong to not want to attend? -- THEY GROW UP SO FAST

DEAR T.G.U.S.F.: You're not wrong. While most of us are aware that we did not arrive via immaculate conception, few of us want to dwell on the reality of our parents as sexual beings. Because you have already told your mother how you feel, simply respond to the invitation by saying you are unable to attend.

DEAR ABBY: I often read letters in your column you refer to as "Pennies From Heaven." I have something I'd like to share with you.

I believe that I have received such gifts from my older brother, Shane, who passed away as an infant. I found one the other day that can't be explained away as anything but a penny from heaven.

As I was about to leave for my morning commute to work, I went out to the garage where I keep my bike, helmet and biking gloves. As I pulled my glove on, I found -- you guessed it! -- a penny was lodged in the little finger. I never keep money where these gloves are, so I can only guess that Shane put it there for me. -- LOVED LITTLE SISTER IN INDIANA

DEAR LOVED LITTLE SISTER: The penny may indeed have been a token of your angel brother's affection. Keep it for luck while you're on the road, and pedal on with confidence knowing you're being lovingly watched over from above.

DEAR ABBY: My friend was at a local event, a child's graduation. There was a woman whose rear end was exposed sitting in the row ahead. Several people took pictures and posted them on Facebook.

My concern is for the woman's family. My friend couldn't think of an easy way to tell her. My question is, how do you tactfully tell someone about her (or his) exposed buttocks without offending the person? -- JUST ASKING IN ILLINOIS

DEAR JUST ASKING: The person who designed low-rise pants for women, frankly, should be taken to the stocks for public punishment. They flatter no one, particularly when the wearer bends or sits. If it's not the flesh dropping over the waistband, it's the Great Rift Valley visible from the rear.

Robert Burns, a Scottish poet, wrote in 1786 (I am paraphrasing) that if some power would give us the gift to see ourselves as others see us, it would free us from "many a blunder"! How right he was.

Had your friend informed the woman in the row ahead that her pants had slipped so low that people were photographing the view, she probably would have been less offended than embarrassed. The message should have been conveyed quietly by another woman if one felt enough compassion to do it.

DEAR ABBY: I was married for 22 years. My husband was verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive to me. I took it for my kids' sake.

My daughter recently had a son, and my ex wants nothing to do with him. He says if we don't name the baby after him, the baby doesn't need him in his life. My heart hurts for my grandson. My daughter is not with the baby's daddy. All the baby has is my daughter, my son and me. I don't know how a grandparent can't want to be a part of an innocent baby's life.

My ex is 45 and living with a 23-year-old. I just want him to at least give the baby a chance to know who his grandfather is. If there is no love there when they meet, we won't pursue a relationship. He is upset with me. I don't know why, because he's the one who asked for the divorce. What do you think about this? -- CONFUSED IN PHOENIX

DEAR CONFUSED: Your ex-husband may be upset with you because he feels some guilt about the divorce, and rather than accept it, he is blaming you for it.

If you think this baby might somehow smooth over the years of abuse you experienced from him, please forget it. It is perfectly logical that your daughter wouldn't want to name her child for him after witnessing what he put you through for so many years -- so please don't let her be coerced into it.

Because your ex is the kind of person he is, it would be better for all of you if the little boy doesn't get to know him. You married a self-centered, selfish, controlling individual. Consider yourself lucky that he's not pushing for involvement, because if that happens he will continue to treat all of you exactly the way he used to.

DEAR ABBY: I'd like to respond to "Where the Boys Aren't" (May 26). We're right here every day, lady, working in the same building, going to the same functions, eating at the same diners and attending the same churches. But we don't measure up to the standards you have set.

You can find us after work at sports bars with friends having a beer, early morning weekends on the lake or stream fishing, kicking back watching a game on TV or working on a hot rod or motorcycle like the one we had -- or wanted -- in high school. We are not on a cruise, at the mall, upscale bar or wine tasting. In short, we're not doing what you like to do. Think about the guy you were married to who had to be dragged or nagged to the outings you enjoy.

You want to find a guy in your age range? That's easy. Step back, be honest and really look at yourself. How do you act, dress, talk? Would you date you? Do you measure up to the standards you have set for the right guy? If there's something you would change, then change it. Take the time to see who he is, what he enjoys and remember, he's not going to change, and if he did, he wouldn't be what you wanted anyway. -- CONTENT, SECURE, SINGLE 58-YEAR-OLD MAN

DEAR SINGLE MAN: Thank you for taking the time to write. Apparently, these ladies need to find new hunting grounds. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I had to chuckle at "Where the Boys Aren't." Most guys would pay handsomely for the addresses of the clubs where women go to meet men. What is "Where" doing that prevents her from meeting all the men she wants? My guess is she doesn't walk up and introduce herself. She doesn't grasp that dating rules get reversed at some point. She's hoping to be swept off her feet like a schoolgirl.

My advice to older women is to stop hanging out in escape literature and move over to the magazine rack. After a certain age, even sex won't sell itself like it used to. Drive your own car and, if you plan to stay after the introductions, buy your own drinks. Arrive in pairs only with an agreement to split up if opportunity knocks. And remember, going to expensive bars will only net you a higher class of bum.

"Where" has repeatedly failed Dating 101. There's hardly a middle-aged guy in America who would turn down a woman who offered him a pizza, a cold beer and a quiet Friday night at home. I'd even help with the dishes. But everything about her spells hidden agenda! -- NAMELESS IN FLORIDA

DEAR ABBY: We're all at the gym burning off that 40-year-old fat. -- LAWRENCE IN MAINE

DEAR ABBY: I can speak only for myself. Yes, I am at home watching bad cable TV -- not because I want to, but because some of us choose to be here for our elderly parents. We're not out and about except to take our mothers on errands, our dads for haircuts and both for medical appointments, on top of managing their finances and looking after their home.

Guess what? Society looks down on us because we have put their needs ahead of ours. We might not be at the typical social events, but we're out there. The next time you see a middle-aged man with a little old lady in the grocery store, bump into his cart and you might find a nice, lonely guy like me. -- TONY IN CONNECTICUT