DEAR ABBY: I have a son with two good friends. They are at my house often and are really good boys. I enjoy them, and I'm glad my son is friendly with them.

The problem is their mothers. Both these women are receptive to playdate invites, but when I see them in social situations, they say very little to me and almost act as if they don't know me. Even when they pick up their kids, talking to them is awkward, and they give the impression they're always in a hurry.

I think if your kids spend five hours at my house and I have fed them, I deserve a little face time at the very least. I find their behavior rude and would love to say something. I'm just not sure how. What do you suggest? -- PLAYDATE ETIQUETTE

DEAR PLAYDATE ETIQUETTE: I think you are expecting too much of these women. Because your son is friendly with theirs does not guarantee that the friendship must extend to the parents. If the only thing you have in common with them is the fact that their boys spend time with your son, then it may not be so much a matter of what you "deserve" but what they are comfortable with. If you want to be compensated for the snacks, then say so, but don't expect them to be paid for with friendship ... 'cause it ain't gonna happen.

DEAR ABBY: I have been widowed for four years and have had the good fortune to meet someone special. I'll call him Jerry. My mother-in-law, whom I am very close to, is still grieving the loss of her son. She says it is hard for her to see Jerry and me together.

Does this mean I can't invite him to any family events? We are at the point in our relationship where I think it would be unkind to make him feel like he is not welcome. Jerry has been patient, loving and considerate of me and my kids. What do you think I should do? -- DOESN'T WANT TO HURT HER

DEAR DOESN'T: Your mother-in-law will always grieve the loss of her son. The question is, is she willing to risk becoming distanced from you and the grandchildren? Talk to her about your relationship with Jerry and explain that you still would like to be a part of her life, but that it will require her to accept the new man in yours.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Joanne," is 42 and lives at home with me. She's attractive, friendly, well-liked and has a good job. She pays all her own bills.

The problem is, she seems stuck in her life. She hasn't dated in years and appears content to just go to work and come home.

Whenever I try to encourage her to get out more, she says, "It is what it is." She's not shy. She's outgoing, so I don't understand. I'd love for her to be independent and have her own apartment. Sometimes she'll turn it around and ask, "Do you want me to leave?"

Joanne doesn't seem to understand that I'm concerned only for her future. She has no siblings, and I worry that when I'm gone she'll be alone. I want her to get out more, meet someone and eventually fall in love. How do I get through to her without nagging? -- ONLY WANTS THE BEST FOR HER

DEAR ONLY WANTS THE BEST: Your daughter has many positive attributes. Has it occurred to you that she may be perfectly happy with her life as it is and not looking for the kind of life you would like her to have? Worrying about her won't do either of you any good. Let the future work itself out. There's an old proverb with much truth in it: "Man plans; God laughs."

DEAR ABBY: I am planning a trip to Thailand next year and would like to find a traveling partner. I don't care whether the person is male or female. My plan is to visit the country and rent a cabin for a month. My interest is solely to share expenses and have a platonic relationship with my travelmate because going alone is very expensive. Thanks for whatever input you can give me. -- TRAVELER FROM KANSAS CITY

DEAR TRAVELER: You're welcome. My "input" is to urge you to rethink this. I do not recommend that you go to a foreign country and rent a cabin in the middle of nowhere with someone you don't know because it could be dangerous. What if there is a medical emergency or your companion has misrepresented him- or herself?

Traveling, even with someone you do know, can present problems unless you have a high degree of compatibility and similar habits. Low-budget tours are available, and I urge you to research them.

DEAR ABBY: A few weeks ago my husband and I were having an argument. He stormed out of the house and was killed in a wreck while talking to his brother on his cellphone.

His family blames me for arguing with him. While I feel sad that the last thing we did was argue, I feel his brother should shoulder some of the blame because he was on the cellphone with him, which is illegal in our state.

Luckily, no one else was hurt in the crash, but I am very hurt that "John's" family is so angry at me. Please remind folks not to drive while on a cellphone. -- IDAHO WIDOW

DEAR WIDOW: Please accept my sympathy for the tragic loss of your husband. It is important you understand that your former in-laws are angry at the fact that he is dead, and are looking for someone other than him to blame for their pain. If your brother-in-law knew John was on his cellphone while driving, then I'm sure he carries some guilt about it. But the fault lies with your husband, rest his angry soul.

P.S. If your letter serves as a reminder to readers not to use a cellphone -- or text -- while driving, his death will not have been in vain.

DEAR ABBY: I am dating a recently divorced man who was married to a very controlling woman for 31 years. I love him very much and see myself with him in the future. However, at the age of 53, he is interested in pursuing a singing career.

I dated a musician for 16 years and I do not want a relationship with another one. I'm pretending to be supportive because I don't want to be another woman telling him what to do or stifling his dreams. Inside I am dreading it. I become physically ill when I think of losing another man to music.

On the other hand, I can't imagine my life without him. Should I continue to pretend to support him and hope he fails, or let him know that I don't want to be with a musician? -- OUT OF TUNE IN DAYTON, OHIO

DEAR OUT OF TUNE: It is in neither of your best interests for you to continue lying to him because the truth will come to light eventually. He is not the person you dated for 16 years, so let him pursue his dream. The odds of a 53-year-old man becoming an overnight national sensation are long, but after 31 years of misery with his ex, if he can enjoy some success on the local level, please don't begrudge him.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 12-year-old girl and I hope you will print this because it's about something important. I have an iPod Touch. My friends and I wanted to text, so I asked my mom if I could download a program to talk to my friends. She said it was OK.

I really like "The Hunger Games," so I went into a "Hunger Games" chat room and started talking with some boys there. The next thing I knew there were three men texting me, asking me questions about sex and asking for pictures. (It started with them asking if I was fat, and when I said no, I was asked to send a picture of me in a bathing suit to prove it.) Then they wanted me to send some without the top. I felt really pressured.

I got so scared I couldn't sleep, so I had to tell my mom. She helped me delete my account and told me it was dangerous, but she always loves me. It was hard for me to tell her because I was scared she was going to be mad.

I want your readers to know this can happen and there are chat room apps for iPods. I'm smart. I get good grades in school, but these guys almost tricked me into doing something I didn't want to do. I still have trouble sleeping because I'm afraid one of them will see me on the street and do something to me. What should I do? -- TERRIFIED FROM TEXTING

DEAR TERRIFIED: I'm glad you took the time to write. You are a very lucky girl. You are fortunate to have a good relationship with your mother and that you could go to her right away when you realized you were in over your head.

Remember, once something is on the Web it's there for good. You are intelligent enough that things didn't progress any further.

Thank you for wanting to warn other young people about your experience. Adults can lecture about the dangers of communicating with strangers on the Internet, but it's easy to tune them out. It's also easy to forget that the same rules apply in the virtual world as apply in the real world. If something makes you uncomfortable, listen to your gut and leave the area.

I hope other young women will learn from what happened to you and recognize how careful they must be in chat rooms because as your experience illustrates, not everyone is who they pretend to be.

Bottom line: If anyone wants to text or chat and things progress in a way that makes you uncomfortable, it's time to carefully consider whether to proceed or not. Immediately show the text or chat to someone (a parent or an older, more knowledgeable friend) and ask for an opinion, Remember, you have the ability to block the person at any time. Do not let anyone -- whether you know him or her or not -- force you to do anything.

DEAR ABBY: I am a healthy, active older man who is in love with a woman my age. Coincidentally, we are in-laws. Her husband and my wife are both deceased. Having known each other for many years, we are very close and have found renewed happiness with each other. We are in love.

Our adult children tell us we are not being rational. Our peers see nothing wrong with it. Do we ignore our children's advice and seek happiness together for the next few years? Please tell me something that makes sense. -- CONFUSED RETIRED ENGINEER

DEAR CONFUSED: You have raised your kids and buried your wife. You deserve to be happy. What makes sense is you and this lady you have known for years being happily together. Your children's attitude is what's irrational.