DEAR ABBY: I'm 17 and hopelessly confused. I'm currently in a long-distance relationship with someone I haven't seen in person for several months. At first, I wasn't "into" him, but after we began talking over Skype and emailing, he told me he liked me, so I said I liked him, too -- even though I'm not physically attracted to him. I figured that since he lives so far away and there's no one at my school I could see myself liking, why make him feel bad by telling the truth?

Now he's coming to visit for a few days, and I'm worried that I won't like him. I'm his first girlfriend, and I think his parents are excited to see that he finally found someone. My mom tells me that he's a very nice boy and won't leave me like the rest of my egocentric exes. He's just very immature and socially awkward.

I thought I might eventually fall for him because he's smart, motivated and sweet -- three things I value in a guy. What do I do about this? Is there something wrong with me? -- HOPELESSLY CONFUSED IN SALT LAKE CITY

DEAR CONFUSED: There is nothing "wrong" with you -- you are 17 and not experienced. When the young man said he liked you, you should have told him that you like him for all the qualities you mentioned, but as a friend.

When he comes to visit, if he tries to make the encounter romantic, level with him. If you're not attracted to him, it would be cruel to lead him on. You're both still young and have many dating experiences ahead of you. In the future, please remember that honesty is the best policy.

DEAR ABBY: My recently divorced, beautiful, intelligent daughter, "Glynnis," is an executive with a global firm and has a high net worth. During her divorce she reconnected with a high school friend who moved in with her.

This "friend" is a jobless, obese, coarse man who has been divorced three times. Glynnis uses him as an errand/houseboy, chauffeur, bodyguard, handyman and general flunky. He will do anything she asks of him at any time. One can only assume he thinks he has won the lottery.

This man is an embarrassment of monumental proportions. We live in another state and go to visit them. I am extremely uncomfortable with the bizarre image of a couple they present. At lunch, dinner or out shopping with them, people actually gasp when they realize the two are together.

I cannot relate to him. Conversing with him is hopeless. Of course, it's my daughter's business who she wants in her life. But I'm disgusted with the entire scenario. I don't want to damage my relationship with my daughter. Any suggestions? -- GLYNNIS' DAD

DEAR DAD: Yes. Try harder to find something you have in common with your daughter's companion, and you may start to understand what she sees in him. Right now he's serving a purpose. Having been through a divorce, she may want a man around who can perform all the jobs you listed. Or, she may just want someone she can control. If you're serious about his function as a bodyguard, suggest that if she feels threatened, she should talk to the police, who are trained to handle such matters.

As you said, your daughter is intelligent. It's unlikely she'll remarry anytime soon. So calm down and try to be less judgmental, because unless you manage it, you will drive a wedge between yourself and Glynnis. Or stay home.

DEAR ABBY: My son is 24 and was honorably discharged as a corporal after a four-year enlistment in the U.S. Marine Corps. He was deployed twice to Iraq. Since his return he has been attending community college, but he lacks the focus and is bored. He has recently announced that he would like to return to the military.

When he approached the Marine recruiter to re-enlist, he was told he's ineligible due to tattoos on his arms. After four years of honorable and devoted service, this rejection is insulting. He has announced to family that he will pursue enlistment in the French Foreign Legion next year.

This is very distressing to me, and I'm sick with worry about his well-being. I do not want him to go off to fight in a foreign military. Can you offer any words of wisdom? -- WORRIED MOM IN GAINESVILLE, FLA.

DEAR WORRIED MOM: Encourage your son to explore enlistment opportunities with other branches of the U.S. military regarding their tattoo policies. However, while you and I might consider his desire to join the French Foreign Legion to be an extreme overreaction to his rejection by the Marines, as an adult he has a right to make that choice. If he goes through with his plan, he may see less action than he would as a member of the U.S. military.

While I can't make this easier for you as a parent, I do have this advice to offer. Tell your son it would be in his best interest to learn some basic French before he goes.

DEAR ABBY: My twin sister and I have lived across the country from each other for many years, but have remained close through phone calls. Two years ago she began talking politics, and we realized we differ on the topic. I asked her if we could not talk so much about the subject and just "agree to disagree."

Things were fine until she planned a visit to see me and also a friend who agrees politically with her. I told her she was welcome to use my car to see her friend, but I didn't want to go because I knew politics would be brought up. It made her very angry, and she ended up canceling her trip.

We have continued our phone chats, and I stayed with her several days last year to celebrate our brother's birthday. But the bond we had is no longer there. I can feel her and my brother pulling away from me. I'm sure it's because of our political differences.

I don't know how to turn things around. I have never argued with them, but feel they are making me an outsider. How can I get them back without compromising my own views?

Twenty years ago, my sister and I differed on some religious points, and she wanted nothing to do with me for the next two years. It took our mother's death to get us back together. Help! -- LOVES MY TWIN

DEAR LOVES: While you and your twin were womb-mates, nowhere is it written that because of your twinship you must think in unison. For the time being, my advice is to calm down. This being an election year, feelings are running high. Keep the lines of communication open as far as your sister and brother will allow. After the election is over, your relationship may normalize.

However, if it doesn't, then it's important you remember that the experiences we have as we travel life's path can turn even twins into very different people. Accept that, and your heart will be less fragile.

DEAR ABBY: "Wants to Do the Right Thing" (April 18) asked about using email to thank those who donated to a fundraiser for her son, who has bone cancer. What is wrong with that?

I have been there. One of my twin boys was diagnosed with cancer at age 2. I was grateful for all the help my family and friends gave me, but I did not always have the time or energy to devote to writing thank-you cards.

You really have to have experienced this kind of long-term stress and trauma to understand. It takes all the strength you have to just get through each day without breaking down. For larger donations, I would write a card when I could or print some out on my computer. Sometimes I recruited a friend or family member to handle thank-you notes. People always ask, "What can I do?" Well, assign them this task!

Another way of thanking people was through a blog, like CaringBridge. These free websites were a great way to keep in touch with people and let them know what was going on. I often posted general notes of thanks there, then emailed everyone who contributed with a link to the site. The truth is, it was difficult to accept charity and help from others, and I often found myself overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support. -- TRULY THANKFUL IN NEW YORK

DEAR TRULY THANKFUL: Thank you for your heartfelt letter and helpful suggestions. I reminded "Wants" that writing personal thank-you notes was the proper thing to do, but not all readers agreed. Their comments:

DEAR ABBY: Any spare time that mom has needs to be spent with her family or taking care of herself. They are going through a very difficult time.

I believe that in this day and age, the majority of people would understand and not expect a thank-you note for their donation. So a quick email of thanks would be more than appreciated. Email is more acceptable now, especially among younger people. If this is all she has time for, it's better than no thank-you at all. -- KELLY IN WINCHESTER, VA.

DEAR ABBY: To that mother of the child with cancer: Instead of writing thank-you notes to all the people who help you in the community, please spend that time with your son. Someday, return the favor with some other family's child. Many families in our town cope with childhood cancer. We help each other. It is important that you spend every precious moment with him, not writing cards. We all understand. -- PAYING IT FORWARD IN CLYDE, OHIO

DEAR ABBY: You correctly advised "Wants" that a handwritten, personal note was in order. However, having found myself in this position, I sometimes first send out a quick "blanket" email to all the donors:

"Dear Friends and Family, you are great to contribute to our cause. Please forgive this email reply, but we want you to know right away how much your support means to us. You'll be hearing from us personally as soon as possible."

This acknowledges the generosity immediately, while relieving some stress for the writer at a busy time. -- WISE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR ABBY: Please tell "Wants" that her son should write some of the letters if he's old enough. The notes should be to people he knows. Folks won't expect a thank-you right away. -- CANCER SURVIVOR IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR ABBY: Handwrite those notes. Make them brief. Following my wife's death two years ago, I handwrote about 400 thank-yous to those who had sent cards and flowers or made donations. It was cathartic for me, and it recognized the efforts of those who contributed. -- DOING THE RIGHT THING IN MICHIGAN