DEAR ABBY: Over the past month I have accidentally dialed a couple of wrong numbers. Because no one answered, I didn't think it was necessary to leave a message.

Abby, both times the recipient of the wrong number called me to find out why I had called. The first time it was an irate mother demanding to know why I was calling her kid's cellphone. She threatened to call the police if I ever called again. The second individual also angrily demanded to know why I was calling. These folks could not accept the fact that I had simply misdialed.

I feel their reactions were unwarranted. Would you agree? What is the best way to respond if it happens again? -- HONESTLY MISTAKEN IN PLANO, TEXAS

DEAR HONESTLY MISTAKEN: People call wrong numbers every day. A misdial can occur if the caller is in a hurry or has poor vision, and it should not be a cause for panic or rudeness. If it happens again, the best way to respond is, "I misdialed. I'm sorry I bothered you." Then end the call.

DEAR ABBY: My mother's Alzheimer's became apparent after she was in a car accident. I should have noticed the signs earlier, but I didn't. Her body recovered, her mind did not.

I built a new house with a separate suite for her. My wife and I tried to care for her for a year, but I'm disabled and Mom was afraid of my wife. There was never a moment's peace. Fearing for our collective health, I finally placed Mom into an assisted living facility. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life.

My children criticized me but offered no alternatives. I visited her as often as possible. Because I could no longer drive, I sent someone with gifts and treats for her. Mom died in 2007 after 10 years in the facility. The last few years she didn't know me from a doorknob. Her disease left my wife and me drained emotionally and financially. I still feel guilty for not doing more. The look of fear on her face haunts me still. Is this normal for someone in my circumstances? -- ONLY CHILD IN FLORIDA

DEAR ONLY CHILD: Yes, it's very common. I'm sorry for your mother's passing and the difficult years you and your family experienced because of her illness.

Given the progressive nature of Alzheimer's, it can be extremely taxing and affect the physical, mental and financial health not only of the person with the disease, but also his or her caregivers. When caregivers attempt to shoulder these responsibilities alone, they put their own health at risk. Moving your mother into a residential facility was a way to ensure she got the care she needed and take care of yourself at the same time.

Alzheimer's disease is often referred to as a "marathon, not a sprint." That's why it's important for caregivers to get help -- whether it's a residential facility, professional in-home help or family and friends. If they don't, the results can be disastrous.

It's common for caregivers to feel guilty and wish they could have done more, but it's important that you let these feelings go. You did everything you could to ensure your mother received the best care possible. If you need to talk to someone about your feelings, call the Alzheimer's Association toll-free 24/7 helpline at 800-272-3900, or visit alz.org online to find a local chapter or support group.

DEAR ABBY: Some friends of ours entertain often, and ask certain guests to bring dishes for as many as 15 to 18 people. This has evolved to the point that I am often left a message telling me to come up with a specific dish. Because I am a good cook, the dishes they request can be quite elaborate.

Last week, two of the eight couples invited were asked to bring a dish for dinner. As I was unwrapping mine, the hostess told me to mix it together with the other one, which had been bought at the supermarket! She seemed put out with me when I replied that I had spent many hours preparing my dish and would rather not combine them.

Abby, four years of this is enough for me. In the future when I'm invited, I'll accept and say that I'll contribute some wine. Period.

Please don't advise that we refuse invitations from this family -- they are my husband's oldest friends, and our husbands do business together. By the way, this couple is very wealthy. They could afford to cater all of these gatherings. -- NOT THE HIRED HELP

DEAR NOT THE HIRED HELP: Take wine and offer no apologies. If it was good enough for the Last Supper, it should be good enough for your friends.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend, "Connie," and I have been together for 13 months. I have been divorced a year and a half. Connie's divorce became final six months ago, but she and her husband were separated for more than a year.

Connie's daughter, "Libby," is being married later this year. She's a wonderful girl, and I wish she were my daughter. I wish her the best. My problem is, I will not be attending the rehearsal dinner, the wedding or the reception. Connie says that if I were to show up, her ex would make a scene and ruin the day for Libby. He hasn't gotten on with his life, and Connie wants Libby's day to be special.

I understand that, but I have mixed emotions. I love Libby very much and would never do anything to hurt her, but I truly want to be a part of Connie's and Libby's lives.

It's going to be hard for me to sit home while everyone else is enjoying the celebration. Please give me your view. -- LEFT OUT IN LITTLE ROCK

DEAR LEFT OUT: The last thing you should do is sit home and brood. Make plans with friends for those two days and keep yourself occupied. You are neither "Cinderfella" nor an outcast, and I'm sure Connie feels as bad as you that you'll be absent from the festivities.

Connie is sacrificing her personal preference to ensure that her daughter's wedding goes as smoothly as possible. She knows what kind of a scene her ex-husband is capable of. Please support her and do not take this personally.

DEAR ABBY: Please settle a long-standing family dispute. Is the spider that climbed up the waterspout itsy-bitsy or eensy-weensy? -- WEBBED IN COLUMBIA, MD.

DEAR WEBBED: If the dispute is long-standing, then it is not eensy-weensy. However, the spider that climbed up the waterspout was itsy-bitsy, at least that's the way I learned it.

DEAR ABBY: My brother left his wife of nine years and his children for another woman. They now have a baby together. His wife nearly had a nervous breakdown because of it, and his children are understandably upset with the situation.

My question has to do with his new baby. I would like to send my brother a congratulatory card, even though his divorce isn't final. Our mother is furious and refuses to speak to him, let alone congratulate him. Still, I would like to send a card and a gift for the baby. How should I handle this? -- UNDECIDED

DEAR UNDECIDED: Send a card and a gift to the baby. The child should not be punished because of the behavior of the parents. However, considering the circumstances, forgo the congratulatory card to your brother.

DEAR ABBY: My two friends and I will be 12 soon. We would like to try to make our own money so we can get off our parents' backs. There are things like lip gloss and magazines we'd like to buy.

We have considered baby-sitting. But are we old enough? We'd appreciate your input. -- KAYLA IN MISSOURI

DEAR KAYLA: In baby-sitting, it isn't how old a person is but how mature and responsible the prospective sitter is. Some 12- and 13-year-olds are mature enough to handle it; others are not.

However, before deciding how your earnings will be spent, talk to your parents to determine how much they would like you to begin saving. It's never too early to start.

DEAR ABBY: In the 17 years I have been married, my husband has never called me by my name. Nor has he ever used a term of endearment such as "Honey" or "Sweetheart." It's just "Hey ..." or "Ummm ..."

Am I crazy? I was raised to believe you address a person by name, say "thank you" if someone does something nice, and compliment a person if he or she has done well. Can you help me understand why he behaves this way? -- I HAVE A NAME

DEAR I HAVE A NAME: Did your husband treat you this way before you married him? If so, you married an undemonstrative lump of a man who apparently never learned basic manners while growing up. If it started after your wedding -- and after you told him how his behavior makes you feel, he has persisted -- then understand that he is trying to punish you for something.

Now I have a question for you: Why have you tolerated this kind of passive-aggressive behavior for 17 years?

DEAR ABBY: When someone at the office lends you a lint remover, should you return it with the used lint paper still on it -- or tear it off and return it with a fresh one? Please let me know which is appropriate. -- ANGELICA IN SAN JOSE, CALIF.

DEAR ANGELICA: If the roller was clean when it was given to you, then it should not be returned with lint on it. In other words, when an item is borrowed, it should be returned in the same condition in which it was loaned.