DEAR ABBY: My brother left his wife of nine years and his children for another woman. They now have a baby together. His wife nearly had a nervous breakdown because of it, and his children are understandably upset with the situation.
My question has to do with his new baby. I would like to send my brother a congratulatory card, even though his divorce isn't final. Our mother is furious and refuses to speak to him, let alone congratulate him. Still, I would like to send a card and a gift for the baby. How should I handle this? -- UNDECIDED
DEAR UNDECIDED: Send a card and a gift to the baby. The child should not be punished because of the behavior of the parents. However, considering the circumstances, forgo the congratulatory card to your brother.