DEAR ABBY: My friends and I are women in our late 40s and early 50s. Some of us are married, some are single. Individually or as a group we have taken classes, volunteered, gone on cruises, gone to clubs and bars -- you name it.
We have noticed that nearly everyone at these activities is either female or with a female as part of a couple. There are loads of single middle-aged women out there joining things and having fun, but there seem to be almost no single middle-aged men. Friends in various parts of the country report the same thing.
Where do the single men go? They rarely go out alone or with a male buddy. Our running joke is they're all home watching bad cable TV. Middle-aged guys must be there somewhere, but where? You'd think that if they wanted to meet women, they'd go where women are, but we rarely see them. Can you solve this mystery for us? -- WHERE THE BOYS AREN'T, NORTHERN WYOMING
DEAR WHERE THE BOYS AREN'T: Part of your problem may be that most of the males in your age group are already married. I don't recommend looking for eligible men in clubs and bars because the ones who go there are usually looking for younger women.
I do suggest volunteering because it offers an opportunity to expand one's circle of acquaintances, and even if you don't meet a man there, you might meet a woman who knows someone who is eligible. I caution women who are looking for companionship not to "hunt in packs" because some men find the idea of approaching a group of women to be daunting.
The pool you're fishing in appears to be small. Have you considered looking online for men in other communities in your state? You will increase your odds of success by putting yourselves "out there" because most relationships begin as the result of luck and timing.