DEAR ABBY: I recently attended a baby shower for a dear high school friend and his wife. The day after the shower, she posted a slideshow on Facebook titled "Thanks for All Our Gifts" with a picture of each gift and who gave it. She has had numerous miscarriages and held this shower at five months, knowing the baby is not yet at a viable stage.

While I feel sympathy for her fertility issues, and especially for her husband who desperately wants to be a father, I think this is a bid for attention. I am disgusted at how she seems to be bragging about her haul, yet prepping everyone to give her an outpouring of support if there is another tragic loss.

Who does this? I am ... SPEECHLESS IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR SPEECHLESS: Most baby showers are given four to six weeks before the mother's due date. However, it's possible that your friend's wife had hers at five months because, with her history of miscarriages, she's excited that her pregnancy seems to be progressing well and she's thinking positively about the outcome. I hope it works out well and so should you.

As to her method of thanking everyone for the gifts, she may never have been taught that individual thank-you notes should have been sent to each guest. Because it is clear that you are closer to the husband than the wife, perhaps you should tip him off that it's still not too late for them to do the right thing and suggest he help her with them.

DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced from my wife for almost a year, with another year of separation preceding that. We divorced because of arguments, not because of abuse, adultery or substance abuse issues. The divorce actually seemed to take on a life of its own.

Because I have a small son with her, I desperately want to attempt a reconciliation. She is reticent about it, however, mainly because I believe she's getting pressure from her family. How can I persuade her to go out with me so we can rekindle the spark we once shared? -- MISSING MY OLD LIFE

DEAR MISSING: Before a couple can successfully reconcile, they must first resolve the problems that caused the separation in the first place. That would be the way to begin. However, are you aware that not once in your letter did you say that you still love your ex-wife? If the reason you want to "rekindle the spark" is that you miss being with your child and the comforts of being married -- but not her -- then I don't think you have much chance of success.

DEAR ABBY: "Modern Dad in Roswell, Ga." (Feb. 26) was put off that invitations to his young daughters are sent to his ex-wife's home rather than to both his and the ex-wife's. He assumes the sender is "sexist" and suggests the solution for children with two households is to be sent two invitations.

As a parent who invites children to my home or to a party, I don't feel I should be responsible for their parents' communication difficulty. Often I am not even aware that a child has two households. The invitation simply goes home with the child to wherever he or she is that day.

Personally, I think "Modern Dad" is overly sensitive. He needs to realize that no one is deliberately snubbing him or making assumptions about parental roles. They are just inviting his kids to things, for which he should be grateful. Did he share his address with the inviter? Does he make his preference clear to parents when meeting them?

I believe it's presumptuous to expect someone to send two invitations to the same child. And I agree with you, Abby, that "Dad" needs to improve communication with his ex-wife so he no longer feels he is being prevented from being an "active parent." -- REGULAR MOM IN TENNESSEE

DEAR REGULAR MOM: A majority of readers agreed that more sharing of information between the girls' mother and "Dad" will solve his problem. Other parents' comments:

DEAR ABBY: Friends, acquaintances and professionals should not have to go out of their way to cover all the bases. Given the number of divorced, remarried and otherwise situated families, more than a single contact point becomes burdensome for those trying to complete business or issue simple invitations.

My guess is, even though the girls stay with Dad, he doesn't have relationships with most of their friends' parents. Unless he cultivates these connections (with the mothers, most likely), it is improbable that he will be added to the contact list. -- CHALLENGED, TOO, IN SEVERNA PARK, MD.

DEAR ABBY: I know from organizing school activities that often only one parent supplies an email address to the school, and it's usually the mom. If "Modern Dad's" ex-wife would cooperate by sending him a list of email addresses of those most likely to issue invites, he could send out a polite message sharing his contact information with those other parents. Also, if he reaches out to help arrange carpools or organize social outings -- which is usually a "mom" job -- he'll become an added member of "the group." -- NON-SEXIST MOM IN ILLINOIS

DEAR ABBY: Our solution to this problem was to use an online computer calendar for the kids' events. That way, regardless of which parent gets the invite, it can be posted on the calendar with the appropriate details. (Privacy settings can be set so the calendar is not viewable to the general public.) -- FLORIDA FATHER

DEAR ABBY: My son's school sends out a parent directory that includes both my and my ex-husband's email addresses. I receive a lot of information, including invitations by email, and always see my ex's address included on everything as well. Not having to remind him about parties and school events has taken a huge load off my shoulders. Maybe "Dad" can suggest his daughters' school start a parental email list and make sure his information stays updated. -- INVOLVED TEXAS MAMA

DEAR ABBY: My father is turning 60 this year, and I want to make him a photo album with pictures from throughout his life. However, Dad is widowed and remarried, so I'm having a hard time deciding what to do with respect to my mother. They were married 25 years before she died, and they loved each other very much. They raised two children together, and she was an important part of his life.

At the same time, I have a feeling that including pictures of Mom may upset my stepmother. While I am not close with her, I don't want to intentionally hurt her feelings. What should I do? -- LAURA IN ST. LOUIS

DEAR LAURA: You're asking an intelligent question and I commend you for your sensitivity. If the photo album is intended to be a surprise for your father, consider talking to your stepmother about the idea. It will give you an indication of how such a gift would be perceived by her.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 24 and love my parents. Mom confided to me that she has been seeing a high school flame behind my father's back. She claims she loves this man and said she has slept with him, but she doesn't want to leave the security my father provides for her. She swore me to secrecy about her affair.

Meanwhile, my father has started talking to me about their marital problems. He doesn't understand why Mother isn't happy. I feel like I should tell him, but that would betray my mother. At the same time, not telling him what I know is betraying him. What should I do? -- CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE

DEAR CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE: Your parents should not be confiding their marital difficulties to you. They should attempt to resolve them by communicating with each other -- preferably with the help of a licensed marriage counselor. That your mother would turn you into a co-conspirator in her affair is despicable. Give her a deadline to level with your father or tell her that you will. He deserves to know the truth.

DEAR ABBY: I have fallen in love with a very special woman. She happens to be my daughter-in-law's mother. We are very happy together, but our children are extremely upset about this. My son and her daughter no longer speak to us at this point.

I feel it's my life and I shouldn't live it for the kids, nor would I want them to live their lives for me. Is it wrong for me to be with her, or are the kids overreacting? -- IN LOVE IN KENTUCKY

DEAR IN LOVE: The "kids" are overreacting, and they shouldn't be trying to blackmail the two of you into doing what they prefer. It is your life, and just as you wish your son and daughter-in-law every happiness, they should be doing the same for you. This situation is not as unusual as they think, and they should not be judging or punishing you, because you are doing nothing wrong.

DEAR ABBY: I married "Darrel" six months ago. It bothers me that he wears a silver bracelet from a relationship that ended five years ago. He claims that if I were to wear a piece of jewelry from my first marriage, it wouldn't bother him as it is "just jewelry." How do you feel about this? -- BOTHERED IN DAYTONA BEACH

DEAR BOTHERED: What I feel about this is not important; it's how you feel. If your husband's wearing the bracelet is a constant, irritating reminder that he was involved with someone else, he should remove it because it isn't "just jewelry" to you. And your feelings should be more important to him than the bracelet, don't cha think?