DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 16 years and have two teenagers. "Mom" died two years ago, and my husband is an only child. How can we tell my widowed father-in-law that we need a weekend to ourselves?

"Pop," who's 87, lives an hour away and drives to see us every weekend, staying until Monday afternoon. We don't doubt that he's lonely, although he does play bridge twice a week and has dinner with friends occasionally. We love him dearly and would never want to hurt his feelings, but we long for a weekend for "just us."

How do we ask Pop not to visit? We believe he's still in mourning over the loss of his wife of 60 years. We don't want to add to his heartache. -- TORN IN TEXAS

DEAR TORN: You do need to talk to your father-in-law and set some boundaries. Accomplish it by setting a predetermined visitation schedule that allows you time alone with your husband and nuclear family without him being present. A way to get that message across would be to say: "Pop, we love you, but we need some time to ourselves, so let's schedule your visits for twice a month. You pick the weekends."

DEAR ABBY: The neighbor above my apartment has a snoring problem. My bedroom is directly below his. Around 10 every night he starts snoring to the point that it sounds like an elephant lives above me. I have to sleep with my TV on and sometimes the radio.

Please tell me what to do. Should I confront this neighbor? Should I complain to management? Or should I just live with it? -- FED UP IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR FED UP: Write your neighbor a letter and explain to him there is a problem. He may not know that he snores. If he's snoring steadily, but stops for 20 or 30 seconds before starting again, it could indicate that he has a serious medical condition that should be discussed with his doctor.

If the apartment above you has poor insulation, a carpet under his bed could muffle some of the sound. Playing a tape of "white noise" could block it out more restfully than your television or radio. Or, because adequate sleep is so important, you could ask a real estate attorney about the possibility of breaking your lease and leaving without penalty.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 23-year-old woman who will graduate from college soon. I am looking to undergo a post-college makeover. I want to find some clothes that will work in the professional world, but also mix for more casual environments. Taking a recent college grad's budget for this into account, what signature pieces should a young female have in her wardrobe? And what tips do you have for building a great collection over time? -- YOUNG, BROKE, BUT FABULOUS

DEAR Y.B.F.: Start with two suits -- one with a jacket and matching skirt, the other with jacket and slacks. Make both suits interchangeable and in a neutral color -- black, navy or beige -- whatever looks best on you. Add a couple of blouses and sweater sets, several pairs of shoes and a good handbag. Make sure to look for "classic" styles rather than trendy, and you will have the basis for a business wardrobe and the beginning of a great collection.

DEAR ABBY: I'd like to respond to the letter from "Hurting in Virginia Beach, Va." (Feb. 6), who complained that the smell of mint chewing gum triggers her migraines. Many gum chewers, like me, have good reasons for doing it. I chew gum on planes because it helps reduce sinus pressure, thus preventing my own headaches. I am also a former smoker, and gum-chewing is a healthier alternative to tobacco.

If "Hurting" explained her situation to me, I would certainly abide by her request to not chew, although I would find it uncomfortable to go without for long. I recommend she carry several packs of non-mint gum in her purse. When forced into close proximity with a gum-chewer, she could then offer him or her an acceptable alternative. I believe she will almost certainly find people more receptive to her needs that way. -- DAVE IN SPRING HILL, FLA.

DEAR DAVE: Your commonsense suggestion was the one most often repeated by my readers. I advised "Hurting" that whether at a concert or on a plane, she could ask to be moved away from an "offender." My readers comment:

DEAR ABBY: I propose a different solution. She should purchase one (or several) of those surgical masks that cover the mouth and nose. They come in a variety of styles, and she could surely find one that would block her sense of smell. This way she won't have to risk a confrontation or depend on a third party to get involved. Once she detects the offensive smell, she can just put on her mask, no one gets bothered and everyone's happy. -- TIM IN SALEM, ORE.

DEAR ABBY: I sympathize with "Hurting." I am a migraine sufferer myself. The smell of many perfumes, lotions, cleaning agents, tobacco smoke -- even some foods -- can trigger a migraine. Because it is nearly impossible to control what other people wear, clean with or eat, I have found it much easier over the years to make sure I always carry some medication with me whenever I go out. Being able to take my medication the minute I sense a migraine coming on has prevented many events from ending badly for me. -- FEELING HER PAIN IN NEW YORK

DEAR ABBY: I have a deadly allergy to oranges. The smell alone can bring me very close to anaphylactic shock, but more often just causes a migraine like "Hurting's." I have a small bottle of eucalyptus oil I take with me and place a drop or two under my nose. This will stop the reaction. Hope this information helps. -- VERNELLE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ABBY: Your advice was spot on as far as asking the gum chewer to discard the gum, or to be reseated in a theater. But often the house is full, or the plane has no empty seats and no one will switch. As I suffer from similar issues, my father found me a device called a personal air purifier. It hangs around your neck (or sits in your lap) and literally cleans the air you breathe. It is battery-operated and goes everywhere. It has saved me tons of embarrassment when dealing with other people in small spaces. -- RACHEL IN CHERRY HILL, N.J.

DEAR ABBY: "Hurting" needs to take preventive action when she makes her concert reservation. Simply ask for an aisle seat (for her) and the one beside it (where her husband will sit). Of course, it will be slightly more difficult on a plane because of closer quarters, but she can still make sure her husband is sitting between her and the offender as a buffer, which might help a little. -- LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION

DEAR ABBY: What's the best thing to do when someone insults me for being myself? My hair has been bright blue for the last two semesters of college. I like it. I'm young, and my family is letting me express my "wild" side while I'm in school.

Six months ago I went to meet my ex-boyfriend's mother, and the first thing she said to me was, "You're one of my son's phases, right? Boys don't actually bring girls with blue hair home to Mama." Abby, it was with my ex's encouragement that I dyed my hair this bright color.

My family, my church and most of my teachers think it's OK. Is there a social stigma attached to exotically dyed hair? And what's the best way to react when someone insults me for just being myself? -- NICE PERSON IN WALLAND, TENN.

DEAR NICE PERSON: Whether there's a stigma attached to looking different depends on who is doing the looking. Some people -- your ex-boyfriend's mother, for instance -- find it off-putting. Did you tell her that it was with her son's encouragement that you dyed your hair blue? It would have been interesting to see her reaction. It would also be interesting to know what shade his current girlfriend's hair is.

When others comment about the unusual color of your hair, instead of treating it as an insult, smile and say, "Don't judge a book by its cover." Then change the subject.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 26 years. I love him, but he's a terrible listener. He's not that way with everyone. When we're out socializing, he's a good conversationalist and a polite listener. It's when we are home that he never lets me finish a sentence. When we're alone, I can't express a complete opinion or thought without being interrupted halfway through a word or sentence. He just cuts me off and starts talking on the subject.

I'm an intelligent woman with valid opinions, but he would rather hear the sound of his own voice than mine. How do I get him to let me speak and not interrupt? -- SILENCED IN ILLINOIS

DEAR SILENCED: Is your husband controlling in other aspects of your relationship? If not, the problem may be that you have been together so long he thinks he knows where your sentences are going, so he responds before you complete your entire thought. One way to handle this would be to tell your husband how patronized it makes you feel when he does it. Another would be to interrupt him by saying, "Excuse me! I wasn't finished talking." Or, "You finished my sentence, but that wasn't what I was going to say. What I meant was ..."

DEAR ABBY: My sister, "Beth," and I are very close, but a constant source of contention is her boyfriend, "Brody." Beth and Brody have broken up several times, and each time it happens, she fills me in on every horrible thing he has ever done.

They always seem to get back together, and then Beth expects me to like him despite everything I know. Does the fact that she forgives and forgets mean that I have to do the same? -- TOO MUCH INFO IN OHIO

DEAR TOO MUCH INFO: No, it doesn't. But you should be civil, even if you're not warm and friendly. Then cross your fingers and hope your sister recognizes less drama is healthier and the relationship ends soon.