DEAR ABBY: I am a 19-year-old student taking courses at a community college. One of my classes is taught by a great professor who also works at a state college teaching other teachers.

After an evening class with him one night, I returned to the classroom because I forgot something and ended up walking with him back to the parking lot. While putting stuff into my car I saw him get into another student's car. I waited a while without them realizing I was there and ended up seeing my professor and this student smoking weed and fooling around.

I feel angry and betrayed knowing he would put his career in danger. They are both consenting adults, but I don't know whether I should report it or not. What do you think? -- BETRAYED STUDENT ON THE WEST COAST

DEAR STUDENT: Unless you have absolute proof that your professor was smoking something other than tobacco, I think you should keep your mouth shut. As you said, he was with another consenting adult. Are you sure your feelings of anger and betrayal aren't jealousy? Because you asked what I think, I'll tell you: Mind your own business.

DEAR ABBY: A year ago my husband and I met a nice couple on a cruise. We had so much fun with them we invited them to our home for a visit.

While they were here I showed them the photo album I had made with our cruise pictures. They were in most of them. It has been three months since their visit and we can't find the album. A few weeks ago, while talking to the wife on the phone I mentioned it. She said we didn't show the album to them but she wished we had. Abby, we know we did!

Should I mention it again or just make a new one and never invite them back? -- MISSING MORE THAN THE PICTURES?

DEAR MISSING: You appear to be seeing the picture clearly now. While the couple may have been charming, they're not nearly as "nice" as you assumed. If you want a record of your cruise, by all means create a second album. (Surely you don't need me to advise you to never invite them back.)

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for 19 years. We have three children and from the outside looking in, you would think we have a wonderful life. But my boyfriend has been unfaithful numerous times, which has caused me to have trust issues and insecurities. I took him back because I wanted our children to be raised in a two-parent home, which is hard to find these days.

The problem is, two years ago I cheated on him. He found out by tracking my phone, bugging the house and monitoring my calls and emails. He "reminds" me of it every day and we argue constantly. I'm sorry it happened, but I still have trust issues because I can't see what he has been up to. I guess my question is -- is this a relationship worth saving? -- GOOD FOR THE GANDER -- GOOD FOR THE GOOSE

DEAR GOOSE: Let's review your letter. Nineteen years as a couple, three kids and he's a serial cheater. You cheated too, and your complaint is that you can't monitor your boyfriend's activities the way he is scrutinizing yours?

Although you say you're staying together for the children, a household filled with anger and suspicion isn't healthy for them or for you. This is not a relationship worth saving in my book.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend has proposed. I love him very much, but I'm worried about my kids. I look at his children -- his son is 23 and barely made it out of high school. He got a girl pregnant at 17, has been in jail a few times and is an alcoholic. His 15-year-old daughter is immature for her age and constantly getting into trouble at school. Their mother is an alcoholic and a drug user. Are my concerns for my children valid? -- WORRIED IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR WORRIED: Yes, they are, because your children will be exposed to all of the negative influences that his children will bring with them into your blended family. Be smart and hold off marrying your boyfriend until your children are old enough not to be influenced by his children. Your first concern must be for your children's well-being.

DEAR ABBY: I read your answer to "Thrilled in San Jose" (Dec. 28), the couple who want to celebrate paying off their mortgage, on the same day I read an article about how middle-class Americans have sabotaged themselves by abandoning thrifty habits like saving and ... paying off their mortgages!

I disagree with your answer that the couple should celebrate privately. A generation of Americans now has no idea that paying off a mortgage is even possible. So I say to that couple: Celebrate tastefully and publicly in the same thrifty way that enabled you to pay off that mortgage. And while you're at it, be prepared to share the tips and habits that enabled you to achieve this wonderful success. Who knows? Your party might educate and inspire. -- I'D LIKE AN INVITATION

DEAR I'D LIKE: I was surprised at the number of readers who were fired up over my answer to "Thrilled" about burning the mortgage. Most said that this is a milestone that should be celebrated. My readers comment:

DEAR ABBY: I think it's great to throw a mortgage-burning party to celebrate paying off a home mortgage. Today we go overboard not to offend. True friends would be happy when something good happens and not jealous. How self-centered is that attitude? People need to start feeling happy for the success of others. -- LORI IN GIG HARBOR, WASH.

DEAR ABBY: I believe "Thrilled" and her husband should have their mortgage-burning party. Achievements like this should be celebrated. Too often in our country people have piled on debt they couldn't afford and made decisions purely to keep up with "the Joneses." By sharing their success story, including any struggles they may have overcome, they can be an inspiration for the loved ones in their lives to follow. -- DEBBIE IN THE SOUTHWEST

DEAR ABBY: Please advise "Thrilled" not to actually burn the mortgage. In California the lender has to provide a release document in the form of a Deed of Reconveyance or Satisfaction of Mortgage that must be recorded with the county recorder's office in order to remove the lien of the loan from the chain of title for the house. If the lender doesn't record it, then the borrower must do so -- copies don't count; originals do. If "Thrilled" decided to sell the house and the release has not been recorded, or if she doesn't have the original, it could delay the sale by months. -- LINDA IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR ABBY: I'm a longtime reader with a question I have never seen in your column: Why don't they put something in pet food to keep dogs and cats from getting pregnant? Then people could control the pet population and it would stop the killing. -- HARRISONBURG, VA., READER

DEAR READER: Your idea is intriguing. However, the reason that contraceptive pet food doesn't exist may have something to do with the cost. Also, the effective dose might vary according to the size and weight of the animals. If a Great Dane wasn't feeling particularly hungry one day, it could wind up a "little" bit pregnant. (Conversely, a Chihuahua with a large appetite could end up sterile for life.)

Seriously, I took your question to Dr. John Winters, a respected veterinarian in Beverly Hills, Calif., who told me there are research trials going on involving oral contraceptives to control the wild animal population, such as coyotes. If one day it is made available for domestic pets, it would have to be by prescription only and dispensed by a veterinarian to ensure the dosage is correct.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Les," enjoys cooking and inviting friends to join us for dinner. I respect people's likes and dislikes when it comes to certain foods, but Les does not. We have discussed it on many occasions and he feels people should be "open-minded, not picky or finicky." We are having two guests over for dinner soon. One does not like onions and the other doesn't care for mushrooms. I reminded Les of this, but he's determined to prepare his spaghetti sauce with lots of onions and mushrooms. This upsets me. As the hostess, I'm embarrassed. Am I wrong to feel this way? -- JUST THE SOUS-CHEF, DES MOINES, IOWA

DEAR JUST THE SOUS-CHEF: That your husband would deliberately serve guests something he knows they dislike shows him to be self-centered and unwilling to extend true hospitality. I don't blame you for feeling embarrassed.

Don't be surprised if your guests eat very little of Les' spaghetti, and prepare for it in advance by having a large salad and garlic bread on hand so they won't go away hungry. In time, your problem may resolve itself, because a person would have to be a glutton for punishment to accept a second dinner invitation at your home.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married 35 years. The children are grown and on their own now. I am healthy, but find I have absolutely no interest in my spouse -- sexual or otherwise. Habits of his that I overlooked in earlier years really turn me off now.

Don't say "get counseling." I don't want to become close or intimate with him again. I'm not the type to cheat, so I guess I'll just be thankful for the good years I had with my young children.

I have chosen to stay in this marriage so my children and grandchildren won't have to split time visiting. After so many years, staying is just easier. Has anyone ever written to you with a similar situation? -- UNFULFILLED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR UNFULFILLED: Yes, usually after the crisis that happened because the woman's husband felt abandoned and looked elsewhere for the caring and affection he wasn't receiving at home.

The relationship you have described isn't a marriage; it's an "arrangement." If this is what you and your husband are willing to settle for in order to spare your children and grandchildren the inconvenience of visiting you separately, then you both have my sympathy.