DEAR ABBY: My boss, "Ms. M.," knows her stuff. She's supportive, flexible and communicates well about what's happening within the organization. However, she spends most of her time in my cubicle. She'll start out in her office and, 15 minutes later, slide into my cubicle to show me her kids' latest photos or insist my colleagues and I watch YouTube videos of her favorite entertainers.

This happens continually throughout the day. I have to work from home in the evenings to get anything done. I have actually used vacation time so I could finish a project without Ms. M.'s constant interruptions. I thought it was just me until I got sick last year and was out for several days. I got "hate" email from my colleagues because the boss was spending all her time in their cubicles!

Meanwhile, contracts don't get finalized, deadlines are missed, phone calls go unanswered and complaints pile up. When she gets heat from higher-ups, she'll work on the weekend to make things right. Then on Monday morning she'll call a staff meeting that lasts over an hour, and we must listen to her sour complaints and more YouTube videos from the weekend. It's maddening.

Ms. M. is like a female Nero fiddling while the department burns. I want to do my job during working hours. Any suggestions? -- TREADING WATER IN OHIO

DEAR TREADING WATER: I do have one. Because there is safety in numbers, everyone in the department who is affected by this problem should discuss it as a group with Ms. M's supervisor or boss. It appears Ms. M. is confusing her working relationships with those that are personal.

DEAR ABBY: Five years ago, while substitute teaching, I met a man who was also a substitute teacher. We would often have lunch together in the school cafeteria. "Lou" told me he had been living with a woman, "Meg," for 12 years, but that she had begun developing Alzheimer's disease. Her sons planned on moving them into an assisted living facility.

Several months ago, Lou called and asked to take me to lunch. At lunch he said he is still living with Meg, but plans to move into a place of his own soon. He said he'd like to start seeing me on a regular basis. He gave me his home phone number, but said that if Meg answers, I should tell her it's the school calling him about a job.

I told him I'm not interested in seeing him until he is actually living on his own, but he keeps calling to get me to change my mind. My children and my friends tell me it would not be wrong to start seeing Lou because he's no longer actively involved with the woman. What's the right thing to do? -- LOOKING FOR ANSWERS IN FLORIDA

DEAR LOOKING FOR ANSWERS: That you would have second thoughts about becoming involved with a man who asks you to lie to the woman he's been living with for 17 years shows a lot about your character. That he would ask you to do otherwise speaks not very flatteringly about his.

You appear to be someone with high standards and dignity. If you prefer to wait until Meg and Lou are no longer living together, I respect that. And if his interest in you is serious, he will respect it, too.

DEAR ABBY: I am 11. My mom is engaged to a man who I think is a wonderful person, but she always questions whether he's cheating on her. She's 37. Personally, I think she won't get another chance like this. Their wedding has been postponed three times because she thinks he's lying to her.

I don't think she realizes what she's got. When I ask her if everything is OK between them, she says, "Everything is fine, and if it wasn't, it would be too complicated for you to understand." I just want them to live happily together. What should I do? -- OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW IN ALABAMA

DEAR OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW: You may be old enough to know, but if your mom doesn't feel comfortable sharing certain personal information with you, that should be her privilege. Her suspicions may be the result of having been hurt in past relationships, or she may have caught her fiance being less than truthful at some point.

Your mother should not marry anyone -- regardless of how great a catch he may seem to you -- unless she is certain she can trust him. The fact that their wedding has been postponed three times sends me a message that she thinks she has reason for concern in that department.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 16 and want to have my ear pierced a second time. Despite my mother's reluctance, she took me to get my ears pierced when I was 9. My friends have all gotten multiple ear piercings. All I want is to get the cartilage on my right ear pierced, but Mom and Dad refuse.

Mom says that any piercing other than one in each ear looks "trashy" and people will think unfavorably of me. I don't see the big deal. It's not like I want my nose or navel pierced. I just want one little stud, and I'd pay for it myself.

I'm a respectful and honest girl. I have always brought home good grades. Mom says I'll have to wait until I'm 18 and out of her house. I don't understand why she won't let me get this done. My best friend's mother, who is stricter than mine, let her get her cartilage pierced. What do you think? -- NOT ASKING FOR MUCH IN ILLINOIS

DEAR NOT ASKING FOR MUCH: I think that as a minor living in your parents' house, you should obey their rules. If you want to get multiple piercings in your ears when you're 18 and on your own, the choice will be yours. But until then, respect your mother's wishes. "Because everyone else is doing it" is not a valid reason for doing anything.

DEAR ABBY: I enjoy theater very much, but can't afford to attend all the performances I would like, so I work at my local theater every week. In exchange, I am "paid" in tickets. The ticket prices are generally $60 and up, so it's a win/win for both the theater and for me.

My question is, when I invite a friend to use the extra ticket, is it unreasonable to expect him or her to drive and pay for the treat at intermission? The ticket was not "free" to me -- I worked for it. Or, because I issued the invitation, am I responsible for the entire evening? -- THEATER LOVER IN ATLANTA

DEAR THEATER LOVER: If you're treating someone to an evening at the theater, it would certainly be gracious of your guest to offer to reciprocate in some way. However, because your friends don't have ESP, this is a subject you should raise at the time you issue the invitation.

DEAR ABBY: There is an ongoing issue between my husband and me. It's his disregard for my personal safety. Our large city is known for its heavy, fast traffic and impatient drivers. "Jon" is a good driver. He likes to drive in the left (passing) lane on the highway or tollway, usually about five miles above the posted speed limit.

This is considered too slow for many drivers, who become impatient and aggressive having to be behind us in the fast lane. They flash their headlights and tailgate us, trying to get him to move over into the right lane so they can pass, but Jon refuses to yield. If they start to pass us on the right, he will speed up and race them so they can't get ahead of him. He says he's "teaching them a lesson."

I have told my husband repeatedly that these games are dangerous and they scare me. Not only could we get into an accident, but we could get into an ugly confrontation or worse. I am terrified in these situations and he knows it, but he continues. I try to drive as often as possible, but I can't see as well at night as I used to, so Jon drives at night or when we're going long distances. With the price of gas and considering the inconvenience and inefficiency, it doesn't make sense to go in separate cars. Do you have any suggestions? -- ON A COLLISION COURSE IN HOUSTON

DEAR ON A COLLISION COURSE: Jon should be told that impeding the flow of traffic is a very dangerous practice. His childish behavior could incite road rage, and it is everyone's responsibility to minimize instances in which road rage can occur.

Contact the Department of Public Safety to get a copy of the Texas Drivers Handbook. That way you can show Jon in black and white that his behavior is not only wrong but dangerous. While some husbands are not receptive to a wife's comments about their driving, most will listen to what a state trooper has to say about good driving practices versus bad ones. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

And one more word of advice: Continue being the driver as often as possible. Your lives could depend on it.

DEAR ABBY: I was discussing with my 26-year-old daughter how parents punish their kids, when suddenly she told me that she hated that I would make her write "lines" when she was growing up. She mentioned that one day I made her do it when her friend was there to play with her. I felt really bad about this and wonder why she is bringing this up now. -- WONDERING DOWN SOUTH

DEAR WONDERING: It came up now because punishment was the topic of conversation, and she flashed back on how humiliating it was to have been punished in front of a friend. Clearly it made an impact -- and it would be interesting to know if the infraction was repeated after that.