DEAR ABBY: Recently my 80-year-old mother was admitted to the hospital, gravely ill. She had been undergoing chemotherapy and caught double pneumonia. My 36-year-old niece went to visit Mama, took pictures of her lying in her hospital bed and emailed the photos to everyone.

It was shocking and upsetting seeing my mother this way. Many of the people who received the photos had not been able to visit her. Abby, what's your opinion on this, and how should it have been handled? -- SINCERELY UPSET IN FLORIDA

DEAR SINCERELY UPSET: I don't blame you for being upset. What your niece did was a gross invasion of privacy. Is this how your mother would have wanted people to see her? If the answer is no, your niece owes your mother an apology.

If your mother is still hospitalized, talk to the nurse in charge of the unit she's in and give her a list of visitors who should have access to her. Explain why you want visitation restricted, and in the future your mother's privacy will be assured.

DEAR ABBY: My sister's husband died suddenly three years ago. "Pamela" now says she's in love with a 60-year-old man I'll call "Mickey," whose company is doing construction work on her home. She has put on a new roof, siding and added a deck, and the jobs are not ending. Next on the schedule is a shed and a new coat of paint for the inside of the house.

Friends and family are concerned that Pamela is scheduling more jobs as a way to see Mickey. When I pointed out that he hasn't even invited her out for coffee, she claimed they have a "relationship" because he hugged her, kissed her on the cheek and told her, "You're my girlfriend."

Pamela has invited Mickey to family dinners and events, but he turns her down because "he's visiting relatives out of town." He has never invited her to go anywhere.

My sister should be ready to date now, but no one lives up to this man. None of us have met him, and we're worried she is just imagining there's a relationship. What can we do before Pamela goes broke or crashes emotionally? -- SOMETHING'S MISSING IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR SOMETHING'S MISSING: Do you know the name of Mickey's company? Start checking him out. Does he have a contractor's license? A Facebook page? Does anybody in the lumber or paint business know him? Something does seem fishy. Mickey may be married and your sister may be grasping at straws. But when all is said and done, it is her money.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 12-year-old girl who needs your advice. My friend and I went shopping a while back and she lent me money to buy a few things. However, later that day she lost the bag that had my stuff in it at the mall. One day she brought up that I have not paid her back, but I said I don't think I should have to pay her back since she lost the stuff she bought for me. Who do you think is right? -- NEEDS ADVICE IN OAKLAND, CALIF.

DEAR NEEDS ADVICE: You are. She's out the money; you're out the "goods." You're even. However, from now on when you buy something, take responsibility for it and keep it in your possession. That way, if something is lost, you will have no one to blame but yourself.

DEAR ABBY: My wife, "Kate," and her sister, "Judy," do not get along, to the point that my wife refuses to be in the same room with her. I have a class reunion coming up, and Judy is in my class.

Because we're not sure Judy will show up, Kate has said she will attend -- but she'll leave if Judy arrives. We had planned on going in separate cars so Kate could escape if necessary. But now she says if Judy puts in an appearance, she'll be upset with me if I don't leave with her.

I don't get along with Judy either, but I'd like the chance to catch up with other classmates. Kate feels my not leaving with her would demonstrate a lack of support. I don't want my wife's antipathy toward her sister to cause me to be penalized. What to do? -- IN THE MIDDLE

DEAR IN: Remind your wife that it's your reunion, not hers. Tell her you plan to go and catch up with your former classmates, and if she'd like to accompany you, you would love to have her at your side. If Judy shows up, it will be two against one. But if seeing Judy would be too upsetting for her, you'll understand if she decides to stay home. It's her choice.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a mature woman who has been seeing a gentleman for five months. We have dinner together, go dancing, watch movies, have game nights with friends, etc. We are together at least four nights a week, and each night it ends the same way. We sit close, hold hands for almost an hour, kiss for several minutes, hug, and then go our separate ways. I'm ready for more.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not looking for marriage. But along with really enjoying his company, I'm very physically attracted to him. We're both kind of shy.

Can you suggest any non-threatening way to bring up the subject of becoming more intimate? Or should I continue to just wait for him to make a move? -- STUCK AT FIRST BASE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR STUCK AT FIRST BASE: I assume that the gentleman you're seeing is also "mature." Has it occurred to you that he may no longer be able to perform in that department? And if not, how will that affect you?

The time is right to broach the subject of what's missing. A way to go about it would be to tell him you care about him and ask him if you are attractive to him -- and if the answer is yes, follow up by asking why he has been hesitant to take your relationship any further. Then listen.

DEAR ABBY: How do you curb a sweet tooth? I sometimes wake up with the urge to eat sweets at night. This is a big weakness of mine. -- NEEDS TO CURB THE CRAVING

DEAR NEEDS: I'm glad you asked, because it gives me a chance to share a technique that works for me. When you have a sweets craving, get up and go brush your teeth! When you're done, the craving will be less.

DEAR ABBY: I'm fortunate to be married to an amazing woman. There's just one problem. She's convinced that I'm going to burn down the house. She constantly nags me when I'm cooking, even when I'm literally standing over the pots. I find her tone -- and the idea that I don't know how to use a stove -- insulting.

She insists I have the burner on too high when I'm making spaghetti, and it will somehow result in a catastrophe far worse than a ruined meal. I find it extremely annoying because I am 30, served my country honorably in Iraq, have been making spaghetti since I was 12 and have never caused any sort of kitchen fire.

My wife hasn't cooked for me in more than a year. That doesn't upset me because I know she works hard to earn money for our family. But if she doesn't cook for me and I'm not allowed to cook for me, then how am I supposed to eat?

Is there anything I can do to make my wife understand that I can be trusted to make a simple meal on a simple stove? -- PASTA GUY IN PHILLY

DEAR PASTA GUY: Probably not, if you haven't been able to convey that message in more than a year. So insist that she stay out of the kitchen while you're cooking, or prepare your meals after she has left for work. Or expand your repertoire beyond spaghetti and make a salad instead.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old high school student with a wonderful life, but I'm not happy. I get good grades, have many great friends, a weekend job and an amazing boyfriend. (He's 17.)

The problem is I'm bored. I have had only one technical boyfriend besides the one I have now. I had two "flings" where I got involved with guys without an official or physical relationship. I know most teenagers would kill for a boyfriend like mine who buys them things and tells them they're beautiful. But I want a relationship with ups and downs -- drama and fighting. Am I crazy to want to date other people, or is this normal? -- LOST IN LOVE

DEAR LOST IN LOVE: You're not crazy. It is normal for some teenage girls to want variety. However, please don't equate the kind of drama you see on TV and in films with what real life is supposed to be about. Relationships filled with drama and fighting do not have happy outcomes. They can lead to bruised hearts and sometimes violence.

If you want to end the relationship with your boyfriend, by all means do so. But before you become involved in the kind of relationship you think would be exciting, please discuss it with your mother or another trusted adult, because a mature person with insight should share some of it with you.

DEAR ABBY: My mother gives gifts -- sometimes very generous ones -- but always with strings attached. She also keeps a record of which recipients have responded with appropriate gratitude (cards, phone calls) and those who have not. Those individuals on the "not" list are ridiculed behind their backs and slighted in other ways.

My mother considers herself a "good Christian," but I believe her actions are selfish, and I have conflicting emotions when I receive gifts from her. What do you think? -- CONFLICTED IN WISCONSIN

DEAR CONFLICTED: I think you should always thank your mother graciously and appropriately for her generosity when she gives you a gift, if only because it is considered good manners.