DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 11 years. We went through eight years of fertility treatments before having our twins. When they were a year old, we discovered I was pregnant with our third child. The twins are now 2 1/2 and the baby is almost a year old.
For the first time in our marriage, my husband and I are at an impasse. We have two embryos left and need to decide what to do. We either use them or destroy them. I think we need to give the embryos the chance they were meant to have. However, my husband is concerned only with the financial side of it as we have been living on one salary and things are tight.
My heart aches over this. Do I do what I believe is right and stand by my religious and moral beliefs, and take the chance my husband will resent me for the rest of our marriage? I'm afraid I'll resent him if I have to destroy them. I'd appreciate some words of wisdom. -- DEADLOCKED IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR DEADLOCKED: This isn't an either/or question. I discussed it with Diane Goodman, the past president of the Academy of California Family Formation Lawyers, who suggests a third option. Your embryos could be donated for embryo adoption by a couple who have been unable to conceive, and who would love to raise them. For more information, you should contact an attorney who specializes in family formation, or contact the Snowflakes Frozen Embryo Adoption and Donation Program. Its phone number is 714-693-5437 and its website is www.nightlight.org.