DEAR READERS: Welcome to 2012! While the last year has been tumultuous for many of us, a new one is here, bringing with it our chance for a fresh start.

Today is the day we discard destructive old habits for healthy new ones, and with that in mind, I will share Dear Abby's often-requested list of New Year's Resolutions, which were adapted by my mother, Pauline Phillips, from the original credo of Al-Anon:

JUST FOR TODAY: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once.

I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking.

Just for today, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. If I am overweight, I will eat healthfully -- if only for today. And not only that, I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take the responsibility for my own actions.

And now, Dear Readers, I would like to share an item that was sent to me by I.J. Bhatia, a reader who lives in New Delhi, India:

DEAR ABBY: This year, no resolutions, only some guidelines. The Holy Vedas say: "Man has subjected himself to thousands of self-inflicted bandages. Wisdom comes to a man who lives according to the true eternal laws of nature."

The prayer of St. Francis (of which there are several versions) contains a powerful message:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

To be understood, as to understand;

To be loved, as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive,

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

And it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

And so, Dear Readers, may this new year bring with it good health, peace and joy to all of you. -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: My friend "Kayla" and I are 12 and in seventh grade. Recently, Kayla informed me that she has acquired a new boyfriend. I didn't mind when she showed me all his lovey-dovey texts. I thought they were adorable.

When I asked Kayla why her boyfriend didn't sit with us at lunch, she laughed and said, "Oh, he doesn't go to school here. He's a junior in high school." That's why I'm writing.

Kayla is telling me that she and "Jacob" are making out, and their texts are getting progressively worse. Plus, Kayla has said her parents are taking her and Jacob to a concert. The concert is out of town and they will be renting a hotel room. I'm worried for my friend.

Am I incorrect for thinking this is wrong? -- WORRIED FRIEND IN WASHINGTON STATE

DEAR WORRIED FRIEND: I agree with you that at 12, Kayla is too young to have a 16-year-old boyfriend. That her parents give her enough unsupervised time with him that they're involved in makeout sessions is also troubling. If this continues, Kayla could become pregnant and Jacob could be accused of statutory rape -- even if Kayla was a willing participant.

Talk to your mother about what's going on. She may want to chat with Kayla's parents about this and mention the texts Jacob is sending their daughter.

DEAR ABBY: I have a question that may seem odd, but I hope you can give me an answer.

I know children can tell when a parent favors one sibling over another. What about cats? I adopted two cats -- not littermates -- from a shelter. While I love them both, one drives me crazy and the other is a sweet lovebug. Naturally, I prefer the sweet, cuddly one.

Can the kitty that drives me nuts tell that I prefer his "sister" over him? -- LOVE 'EM BOTH, REALLY, ALBANY, N.Y.

DEAR LOVE 'EM BOTH: While I'm more of a people expert than an animal behaviorist, let me share this. Cats and dogs, after thousands of years of living so closely with us humans, are indeed sensitive to human emotions. They can tell when we're happy, when we are nervous and when we're depressed. If you lavish affection and/or treats on one and not the other, it can create jealousy.

You don't know the history of the cats you adopted. It's possible the one that makes you "crazy" had less human contact than "Lovebug" or was mistreated in some way. With patience and positive reinforcement he may come around, so please don't give up on him.

DEAR ABBY: One of my brothers, "Carl," walked away from our family 18 years ago. My parents are elderly and in poor health. When they pass, how do we refer to this sibling in the obituary? -- DRAWING A BLANK IN OHIO

DEAR DRAWING A BLANK: The entire family history does not have to be revealed in the obituary. All it should say is, "Survivors include: daughter Wendy, (husband, if there is one) of Ohio; son George, (wife); and son Carl." If you know where Carl is, include the information. If not, his name should be enough.

DEAR READERS: The year is almost over. Am I the only one who can't believe how fast it has gone? Incredible! From the bottom of my heart, I wish all of you a happy, healthy and prosperous 2012. If you plan on driving tonight, please don't drink. And if you'll be drinking tonight, please don't drive. Stay safe, everyone! -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 25-year-old woman with no future. I am the youngest of three daughters. My parents are divorced and my sisters are both married. Mom has no income of her own, so it's mainly me.

I have come to realize that I'll never be able to have an apartment of my own or fully live my life because of her. She's controlling and always finds a way to make me feel guilty about going out or enjoying myself. I have never had a relationship because she has always found a way of sabotaging any relationship I'm in.

I think she's bipolar, but she doesn't believe in medication or that it's even real. I feel as if I'm being forced to take care of her, and when I finally have a chance to have a real life, it will be too late.

I have discussed this with my sisters, but they haven't helped. I'm very depressed and don't know what to do. If I bring this up with Mom, she gets angry and won't talk to me for days. Please help me find a way out. -- TRAPPED IN CHICAGO

DEAR TRAPPED: Your umbilical cord was supposed to have been severed 25 years ago, at birth. You are an adult individual who deserves happiness and freedom from this attachment to your mother.

She may not believe in doctors and therapists -- and that's her privilege as long as she's not a danger to herself and others. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't talk with a mental health professional about this unhealthy situation.

Your sisters haven't helped you because they have their freedom and don't want to share the responsibility you have been carrying alone. And your mother doesn't want to let go of you because if she does, she'll have to assume responsibility for herself.

Please act now. Your escape hatch is the door to a therapist's office. You deserve a life, so go there and get one.

DEAR ABBY: I recently found out that my boyfriend of three years -- the only man I have ever been with -- cheated on me with a woman I thought was a good friend. I love him and have decided to take him back and fight for what we had. He assured me that he wants to be only with me, that what he did was "stupid" and he has learned his lesson.

Abby, although I have forgiven him, I can't bring myself to forgive her. I have never been someone who holds a grudge, but I have so much hate for her that it scares me. I did get professional help, but it didn't work.

I don't want to be like this. This is not who I am. I'm worried about how I might react when I see her. I can't avoid her since we work in the same industry. Why can I forgive him but not her? -- MOVING FORWARD IN TEXAS

DEAR MOVING FORWARD: Probably because having invested three years in the "only man you have ever been with," you don't want it to have been for nothing -- so you're directing the anger you still feel toward him at the woman you would like to imagine seduced him. (Remember, it takes two to tango.) Also, you may still regard her as a threat.

While you may have forgiven your boyfriend, do not forget what happened. A man who cheats and blames it on "stupidity" may do it again with someone else. You need to understand why he did what he did. Is he someone who lives only in the moment? Did he not consider how it would affect you? Is he capable of fidelity in the long run? From my perspective, you need answers to these questions because you may only now be getting to know who he really is.