DEAR ABBY: I'm a 25-year-old woman with no future. I am the youngest of three daughters. My parents are divorced and my sisters are both married. Mom has no income of her own, so it's mainly me.

I have come to realize that I'll never be able to have an apartment of my own or fully live my life because of her. She's controlling and always finds a way to make me feel guilty about going out or enjoying myself. I have never had a relationship because she has always found a way of sabotaging any relationship I'm in.

I think she's bipolar, but she doesn't believe in medication or that it's even real. I feel as if I'm being forced to take care of her, and when I finally have a chance to have a real life, it will be too late.

I have discussed this with my sisters, but they haven't helped. I'm very depressed and don't know what to do. If I bring this up with Mom, she gets angry and won't talk to me for days. Please help me find a way out. -- TRAPPED IN CHICAGO

DEAR TRAPPED: Your umbilical cord was supposed to have been severed 25 years ago, at birth. You are an adult individual who deserves happiness and freedom from this attachment to your mother.

She may not believe in doctors and therapists -- and that's her privilege as long as she's not a danger to herself and others. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't talk with a mental health professional about this unhealthy situation.

Your sisters haven't helped you because they have their freedom and don't want to share the responsibility you have been carrying alone. And your mother doesn't want to let go of you because if she does, she'll have to assume responsibility for herself.

Please act now. Your escape hatch is the door to a therapist's office. You deserve a life, so go there and get one.

DEAR ABBY: I recently found out that my boyfriend of three years -- the only man I have ever been with -- cheated on me with a woman I thought was a good friend. I love him and have decided to take him back and fight for what we had. He assured me that he wants to be only with me, that what he did was "stupid" and he has learned his lesson.

Abby, although I have forgiven him, I can't bring myself to forgive her. I have never been someone who holds a grudge, but I have so much hate for her that it scares me. I did get professional help, but it didn't work.

I don't want to be like this. This is not who I am. I'm worried about how I might react when I see her. I can't avoid her since we work in the same industry. Why can I forgive him but not her? -- MOVING FORWARD IN TEXAS

DEAR MOVING FORWARD: Probably because having invested three years in the "only man you have ever been with," you don't want it to have been for nothing -- so you're directing the anger you still feel toward him at the woman you would like to imagine seduced him. (Remember, it takes two to tango.) Also, you may still regard her as a threat.

While you may have forgiven your boyfriend, do not forget what happened. A man who cheats and blames it on "stupidity" may do it again with someone else. You need to understand why he did what he did. Is he someone who lives only in the moment? Did he not consider how it would affect you? Is he capable of fidelity in the long run? From my perspective, you need answers to these questions because you may only now be getting to know who he really is.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 19-year-old woman, hardworking and married to my best friend. Life is amazing!

So what's my problem? I burn out of jobs quickly. I'll start a job and absolutely love it, but within six months the things that I once loved about the job start to drive me crazy. Within a year, I hate my job and put in my two-week notice. It's not that I have problems finding jobs -- I'm well-groomed, speak well and I'm enthusiastic.

I have recently considered enlisting in the Air Force. (My husband is on active duty.) I am absolutely thrilled about it, but I'm afraid I'll eventually start hating my job and it's something I'll be stuck with. How do I overcome this? -- WANTS TO ENLIST

DEAR WANTS TO ENLIST: Please stop and re-read your letter. Are you aware that you're talking about work the way a schoolgirl talks about romance -- blind, grand passion until reality sets in, then on to the next one?

A job isn't like that. While it can be rewarding on many levels, when the novelty fades it is still work. There are good days and ones that are less so, co-workers who are a pleasure and some who are a challenge. Sometimes it's stimulating and sometimes it's an effort.

Years ago there was a letter in this column that read: "Dear Abby: I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out?" I don't want a letter like that from you.

Military life is rewarding, but it can also be demanding, frustrating and dangerous. It requires making a commitment and sticking with it even after the going gets tough. With your short attention span and low tolerance for frustration, I don't recommend you take any job that requires a signed contract guaranteeing you won't leave.

DEAR ABBY: My friend and I have a massage therapist, "Shelby," whom we hire on a regular basis because she does an excellent job. However, it's hard to get a completely relaxing massage because she likes to talk the whole time.

What's the nicest and most polite way to inform Shelby that we prefer peace and quiet so we can enjoy the massage? -- RUBBED THE WRONG WAY IN COLORADO

DEAR RUBBED THE WRONG WAY: Shelby is not your buddy; she's a professional who has been hired to perform a service. When you make your next appointment and she starts talking, say, "Shelby, when you talk during the massage, it makes it difficult for me to relax. Right now, I need to completely relax, and conversation is distracting." If that doesn't clearly -- and politely -- convey your message, then you need to find a massage therapist who is less verbal.

DEAR ABBY: I hired a pet sitter to stay in my home for two days to care for my dog. (I have used him in the past.) After 24 hours of no response to my texts or phone calls, I asked a neighbor to check on my dog. The sitter never showed up. My dog had been left alone with no food or walks.

Should I alert his other clients about what happened? I have this person's client email list. It's possible that other pets were also neglected. -- ANGRY PET OWNER IN HOUSTON

DEAR ANGRY: Pet sitting is a sacred obligation, and if the sitter is for some reason unable to fulfill that responsibility, there should be a backup plan in place in case of emergency. Unless your sitter had a life-threatening emergency, by all means warn the other clients.

DEAR ABBY: My marriage has been on the rocks since 2008, when I caught my husband talking to other girls online. He swore he would never do it again and I trusted him, only for it to happen again and again. We have a 2-year-old and I'm pregnant with our second child.

He has now placed another ad online stating that he's a single dad. I am torn. He keeps telling me he loves me and wants only me, and he doesn't know what's wrong with him. He is bipolar and not taking meds for it. He promised this time he will get help and try to get better.

This is the fifth time he has placed an ad or chatted with other girls online. I don't know if I should call it quits or keep trying. I love him and want us to be a family, but I don't know how much more I can take. -- TORN IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR TORN: Because you still love your husband, make his taking his medication a condition of your continuing the marriage. He needs to be willing to prove to you that he wants you to stay. If he won't do that, then you will have to decide if this is the way you want to spend the rest of your life. And please, for your sake and that of your kids, don't have more children with him until you're sure your marriage is on solid ground.

DEAR ABBY: I'm an independent, never-married woman who has been holding out for the right man. I finally found him in "Wayne," a 49-year-old widower with two adult daughters.

Wayne and I have been together for a year -- living together for six months -- but his daughters still refuse to meet me. Wayne says they need time because they lost their mother only two years ago and aren't ready to accept anyone else in his life. The rest of his family has been welcoming and sweet. I'm invited to some family functions, but allowed to attend only those that Wayne's daughters won't be at.

I feel like I am able to share only part of his life and nothing will move forward until his children accept me. I love Wayne. I have searched my whole life for someone like him. How long is long enough to wait? What if they never do? -- ON THE SIDELINES

DEAR ON THE SIDELINES: You have assessed your situation correctly. You are sharing only part of Wayne's life, and won't be moving forward until his adult daughters accept you or Wayne asserts himself. Wayne should be ashamed of himself. He should have introduced you to his daughters when you started living together. As his partner, you should not have been excluded from any family functions. As long as Wayne does nothing, nothing will change.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have worked hard and spent our money carefully. We are almost ready to pay off our home. I would love to have a "mortgage-burning" party, but I'm worried about showing off in this uncertain economy. Can we have this party, or should we just make our last payment and be quiet? -- THRILLED IN SAN JOSE

DEAR THRILLED: Taking into consideration that many people have not been as fortunate as you in spite of the fact that they too worked hard, lived frugally and followed all the rules, my advice is to have a quiet celebration with your husband and forgo the party.