DEAR ABBY: I am a gay woman. My partner, "Jenny," and I have been friends with another couple for 15 years. Over the last year I have come to realize that I no longer want to be friends with them. One of them has been particularly unkind to me, and frankly, we don't have a lot in common.

Jenny is uncomfortable with my decision and wants me to talk to them to discuss my feelings. They have already asked her if there's a problem. If I talk to them, I'm sure they will be offended by what I have to say because I didn't say anything when the issues first arose. I'm not good at confrontation, and it's hard for me to tell someone my feelings are hurt.

The bottom line is, I want out of this couple's friendship. But I need to do it in a way that's OK with Jen. I met the couple through her, and she wants to continue her friendship with them. Please help. -- MOVING ON IN GEORGIA

DEAR MOVING ON: It would not be confrontational to tell them that while you have known each other for a long time, you feel you have grown apart. You should also mention that your feelings were hurt when one of them said "( )." At least that way they will understand why you have disappeared, and Jenny won't be left with the responsibility of explaining it to them.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I recently received a wedding invitation from a friend of his from high school. Our wedding is not far away, and I have an etiquette question.

Although it wasn't stated on the invitation where the bride and groom were registered, a Facebook message was sent after our invitation arrived in the mail. It said, "In lieu of gifts, people can donate monetarily to the couple" -- by check or cash the day of the wedding, or via a Paypal account they have set up.

I'm confused. I grew up (and still live in) the South, and this doesn't seem like a traditional approach to gift-giving. Isn't it considered inappropriate to ask for money? -- MYSTIFIED BRIDE IN ALABAMA

DEAR MYSTIFIED: Yes, it is. To solicit money the way that couple did is crude. An acceptable way to get the word out about the type of gifts couples prefer is by word of mouth. Guests usually ask if a couple is registered and where, and when the question is raised, it's all right to tell them. If you have created a wedding website, the information can be included on it; however, it shouldn't be so blatant that it appears gifts are uppermost in your mind.

When couples prefer a gift of money, the proper way the information should be conveyed is verbally by your family or friends, but not by you.

DEAR ABBY: I love the holiday season, but I often feel the blues and get a little depressed. I lost my father on Christmas Day several years ago and have since lost a brother to cancer. I'm tired of feeling this way when this is the season to be merry. What can I do? -- ANOTHER BLUE CHRISTMAS IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR BLUE: I am sorry for your losses. Because of your father's death on Christmas Day, it may always bring some sense of loss. However, an effective way to distract yourself would be to spend time in the company of friends who understand your feelings. Another would be to volunteer at a senior center, shelter or food distribution program. Helping someone else through a difficult time is the surest cure for the blues. Please give it a try.

DEAR ABBY: Why do camera-happy people think it's OK to snap someone's picture and then post it on social networking sites without permission?

I recently attended a party for an old friend. Of course, everyone wanted a photo of the guest of honor. Don't get me wrong, I love pictures. But I think that if the photographer is intending to post it online, he or she should ask, "Is it all right if I post your photo on my Facebook page?"

One considerate person asked if he could photograph our table and we agreed. Another person didn't ask and just kept snapping away. I tried to duck out of the way when I knew it was going to be an unflattering shot, but it was posted anyway and I looked awful.

I have some health issues that have caused weight gain and hair loss, and I'm very self-conscious and do not want my image plastered all over the Internet looking this way. I am usually a good sport, but wonder if others feel this is a breach of etiquette and possibly security. What do you think? -- CAMERA-SHY IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR CAMERA-SHY: You are definitely not the only person who feels this way. Most people prefer to be seen when they know they look their best. Feeling as you do, contact the person who took and posted the picture and ask that it be taken down from the Facebook page. Your reason for asking is valid -- and if the person has any manners at, all your wishes will be respected.

DEAR ABBY: My college roommate "Jillian" has become my closest friend. When we started discussing room assignments for next year, she informed me that she won't be rooming with me because she wants to transfer to a different school to be with her boyfriend. She will be transferring from one of the best schools in the state to one that's much less prestigious.

If Jillian's boyfriend loved her, he wouldn't pressure her into changing schools. How can I convince her that she's giving up an opportunity to receive the best education here? -- WANTS THE BEST FOR HER IN GEORGIA

DEAR WANTS THE BEST FOR HER: It would be interesting to know how Jillian's parents feel about her making the move. Has she told them her plans yet? If they are aware and have voiced no objection, you could debate this with Jillian forever and not convince her because she's thinking with her heart, not her head.

This may not be what you're hoping to hear, but my advice is to start looking for another roommate.

DEAR ABBY: When my sister's husband comes to our house for a family dinner or other event, he immediately asks where he can take a nap. He then goes upstairs and sleeps for a couple of hours. This has been going on for more than five years and is not related to any medical condition. Should I mention this to my sister? I think he is being rude. -- "SLEEPY'S" B.-I.-L.

DEAR B.-I.-L.: You should definitely talk to your sister about her husband's behavior -- although she may wonder why it has taken you so long to do so. "Sleepy" may be uncomfortable interacting with people, which is why he retreats upstairs to sleep. Please withhold judgment until you have more information.

DEAR ABBY: I am 28 and have dated my boyfriend "Dan" for two years. We have lived together for the past year. I fell for him the moment I laid eyes on him and have always imagined we would spend the rest of our lives together.

My problem is Dan shows me almost no affection. He doesn't tell me he loves me unless I say it first; he never wants to cuddle next to me or hug me when he gets home from work. He insists that he loves me, and says his lack of demonstrativeness is because he didn't grow up in an affectionate household and it makes him uncomfortable.

I feel Dan is an adult and can choose to make his household -- our household -- one filled with love and affection. It's starting to make me question whether we really have a future together. Am I overreacting? -- NO HUGS, NO CUDDLES IN PHILLY

DEAR NO HUGS, NO CUDDLES: No. You're an intelligent woman, and you're asking intelligent questions. Before making up your mind about Dan, make clear to him what your needs are. Demonstrate the kind of affection you need from him, and see if he's willing to make the effort. If he's not up to it, then -- face it -- he's not the man for you. To marry someone who can't show love would be for you to live on an emotional starvation diet.

DEAR ABBY: I am a caring, loving husband. I enjoy my time with my wife. I think about our future a lot and want our marriage to last for as long as possible.

I make exercise a priority in my life, but I can't get her to understand that she should, too. I love her for who she is, but I want her to be in great health.

I am a very straightforward person and have told her in ways she didn't respond well to. She becomes defensive. How do you tell a woman she should exercise without offending her? -- FIT IN AKRON, OHIO

DEAR FIT: Talk to her about the couples you encounter who exercise together. Tell her how much it would mean to you if you could share the activity together. If your form of exercise isn't one that works for her, then find something you can agree on to do together.

If that doesn't help, then you'll have to accept her for who she is -- a confirmed couch potato.

DEAR ABBY: I live in Japan and love your column. It is informative and helps me stay in touch with America. But I need to get something off my chest.

I am beyond tired of the number of women I read about in your column who refer to their wedding day as "my special day." News flash, ladies: You should be using the term "our special day"! If you're so focused on your dress and hair and any faux pas -- real or imagined -- your guests may commit that you lose focus on the life you and your husband are beginning, perhaps you should buy a pet rather than get married.

Any person who has stayed married for more than a few years knows the marriage ceremony is the easy part. The self-absorption that permeates today's wedding scene ranges from embarrassing to sickening. -- ROB IN TOMAKOMAI

DEAR ROB: Weddings (and funerals) can bring out the worst in people because they are times when emotion sometimes trumps common sense. The majority of American brides are gracious, polite, loving and hardworking. They are also prepared for the realities that come after the fairy tale wedding. (And if they're not, I hear from them!) Please don't judge all American brides by the ones you read about in my column. The weddings that go smoothly I don't hear about.