DEAR ABBY: I am in a happy and healthy long-term relationship. Since neither of us wants kids, we don't feel the need to marry. Because I don't want children, my grandmother has decided I don't deserve any inheritance. She has rewritten her will, leaving everything to my younger cousin who is the only grandchild likely to have children.

It makes me feel awful, as though I am not worthy in her eyes because of my choice. It isn't about the money, Abby. My feelings are hurt because my grandmother can't accept me without a child.

Is there a way to broach the subject without sounding like I'm just after her money? -- DISINHERITED GRANDCHILD IN COLORADO

DEAR DISINHERITED: How do you know you have been written out of your grandmother's will? Did she tell you or did you hear it from someone else?

It would not be confrontational to tell your grandmother you were hurt when you heard the news because it made you feel "less than." The decision whether or not to have a child is a personal one, and couples who don't want to be parents are likely to make less than wonderful ones.

Your grandmother may or may not have changed her will because of your choice, but it's also possible that she would like her assets to be passed down to grandchildren and beyond. You'll never know unless you ask.

DEAR ABBY: What does someone who is an older adult do when she needs to be held and listened to, and when she has no one to do this with her?

I'm sure I'm not the only woman who has found herself in this situation. What do others do when this is needed? Sometimes I just need to be held, listened to and reassured. -- IOWA READER

DEAR READER: The need for human contact is part of the human condition, and I can tell you what I did before I met my husband: When I was feeling down, I'd ask a friend for a hug, a willing ear and some reassurance. I can't imagine anyone refusing. At some point everyone needs what you're asking for.

Other ways to combat the blues include staying occupied with hobbies that interest you, socializing with friends and getting regular exercise. If readers would like to chime in and share what they do, I'll be glad to pass along their suggestions.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I stopped at a rest stop to use the facilities. I noticed a man with a little girl who appeared to be about 3 years old go into the men's bathroom. I wanted to ask if he would like me to take the child into the women's bathroom while he waited outside the door for me to return her to him, however I hesitated and didn't do it.

When my husband came back to the car I asked him what the child encountered in the men's bathroom. He said she had to pass by the urinals with the men urinating. I felt terrible for not speaking up.

Would it have been wrong to volunteer to take the little girl into the women's bathroom? Perhaps I'm too sensitive to matters like this, but I haven't seen it addressed anywhere. -- CONCERNED IN FLORIDA

DEAR CONCERNED: What the child encountered when her father took her into the men's bathroom was probably a line of men with their backs to her, and I assume he took her into the stall toilet. However, it would have been kind of you to volunteer, and probably very much appreciated.

DEAR ABBY: My son invited two friends to our home for the weekend. We had never met them before, but they seemed nice.

At bedtime, the young man was on the couch and the girl was in our spare bedroom. In the middle of the night, I was awakened to loud lovemaking noises. They grew louder and louder, and the headboard was banging against our bedroom wall. My husband and I were mortified. Finally, I banged on the wall and it stopped. We couldn't believe these kids would act that way in someone's home.

They left before breakfast, so we didn't have to face them in the morning. What was proper here? Would it have been appropriate to knock on the bedroom door and ask the guy -- or both of them -- to leave?

I told my son about it the next day. He was embarrassed and apologized for his friends. What should we do if this ever happens again? -- RED-FACED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR RED-FACED: Unless you first required your son's friends to sign an abstinence pledge before bedding down at your place, you were right not to have evicted them before morning. Next time, keep this from happening by having your son tip them off at bedtime that you're light sleepers and prefer not to be awakened by "nocturnal whoopee."

DEAR ABBY: When I'm reading a book, my husband chooses that moment to begin a conversation. If I don't immediately put it down and give him my full attention, he gets upset and says I'm being rude to continue reading and not talk to him.

I think it's rude of him to interrupt me when I'm reading. These aren't important conversations or even questions he needs immediate answers to. They are conversations we could easily share over dinner, or later when I'm not reading.

I love to read, but as a busy mom I rarely have the time. Being interrupted during those rare moments drives me crazy and makes me feel even crazier when I'm accused of being rude if I don't want to chat right then. Who's right and who's rude? -- TRYING TO FINISH MY BOOK

DEAR TRYING TO FINISH: Frankly, I think your husband is right. He may not need the answer to his question as much as he needs your companionship at the time he's reaching out. If finishing a chapter is so important that you can't take a few minutes and talk with him, then suggest that in 15 to 20 minutes you can give him the rest of the evening to talk. If my husband is involved in a project, or I am, that's what we do, and it works for us.

DEAR ABBY: How do you handle a relative who seems to think your house is her own personal garage sale site? She rifles through my closets, brings out clothing, and then asks, "What can I pay you for this?" She also looks around our garage for items that are being stored and asks the same question.

She would never act this way at a friend's home, but somehow it's different with me. By the way, she's my sister. -- NO SALE IN AUSTIN

DEAR NO SALE: Because it's your sister and not some nervy acquaintance, be light-handed in your response. Smile and say, "I'm not ready to let it go, but when I am, you'll be the first to know." Then get her out of your closet or garage and direct the conversation elsewhere.

DEAR ABBY: "Pregnant with Apprehension" (Sept. 9) said she's dreading the birth of her second baby because her fiance's mother wants to witness the birth. Apparently, "PWA" wants only her mother and her fiance, "Cliff," in the delivery room. You said her wishes should be paramount. I agree.

I am a labor and delivery RN in a major medical center in California. More and more people today view birth as a sporting event. It's worse when the mother-in-law wants to be there because "it's her right."

"PWA" should let Cliff know if he can't stand up to his mom, her labor nurse will! I will be the one who informs visitors that it's hospital policy that there be only two people at the bedside, and there is no bending the rule. That way, the mother-in-law can hate the nurse, but not her daughter-in-law or her son. I'll willingly take the heat for my patient if it means a better labor outcome for her and the family. -- "BECAUSE I SAID SO"

DEAR "BECAUSE": Thank you for agreeing with me. However, those who disagreed shared experiences that are worth noting. My newspaper readers comment:

DEAR ABBY: For "PWA" to say she doesn't want Cliff's parents to see their grandchild for two weeks is selfish, and I don't think she should demand that her fiance back her up on this. Her mother is going to be there from the moment of birth. While it's understandable she doesn't want anyone else in the delivery room, she shouldn't be surprised that his mother is hurt. His parents have a lot to offer and can be a big help to her.

Cliff needs to tell "PWA" she's being unreasonable. I wish my son had spoken up on my behalf. Being shut out of this blessed event is hurtful and causes tension. She has the right to dictate who is in the delivery room with her, but she shouldn't deny his parents their right to be a part of their grandchildren's lives. -- BLESSED TO BE A NANA

DEAR ABBY: I didn't want my in-laws in the delivery room either, but I was sensitive to the fact that they are just as much family as my parents. My solution was to have just my husband present for the birth. Blending families together used to hold a greater importance, and I feel for parents who are feeling left out of their children's lives. -- MAGGIE IN AIKEN, S.C.

DEAR ABBY: As a young mom, I almost always went to my parents for support, baby-sitting, etc. However, now that one of my sons has a baby of his own, I see the other side of the coin. It hurts not to enjoy the kind of relationship with the baby that my daughter-in-law's parents have. There must be middle ground.

While I would never invite myself into her delivery room (although it would have been nice to have been asked), or assume I could stay in their home immediately after the birth, some effort to include me should have been shown. I agree Cliff needs to explain to his parents the logistics of the situation, but in a way that still assures them they will have their special time, too. -- THE OTHER GRANDMA

DEAR ABBY: If "PWA's" mother is staying with her, she should make sure the paternal grandmother helps with new baby duties for a few days as well. The bridges that are built now will go a long way later in life. She needs to think about the long-term relationship being built for the children. Cliff needs to be a dad, not a frat boy. But both of them need to grow up. -- KAREN IN FORT COLLINS, COLO.