DEAR ABBY: "Tracy" and I have been best friends since junior high. (We're both 31.) A couple of months ago she and her two sons (my "nephews," ages 9 and 5) moved out of her parents' home and into their own apartment.

Tracy has never lived on her own before. As a result, she's constantly asking me to come over, spend the night, keep her company, etc. I'm happy to visit for a couple of hours once a week or so, but feel uncomfortable and pressured doing it to the extent she's asking. She didn't act this way when she lived with her parents.

I am single, childless, have my own place and a full-time job. My home is my sanctuary and I value my peace and quiet. The last thing I want at the end of a hectic workday is to go to her apartment and hang out for hours on end with her and her sweet (but loud and rambunctious) boys.

Tracy is also single. She works full-time and is a devoted mom, but there's an obvious deficiency in her life. I try to encourage her that she'll grow accustomed to her new life, but it doesn't stick. How can I make her understand that while I love her dearly, I can't be her lifelong security blanket? -- SMOTHERED IN THE EAST

DEAR SMOTHERED: Do it by explaining to your friend what you can give her, rather than what you can't. If it's one afternoon or evening a week, arrange your get-together for when you're available.

Let her know you need time to yourself to unwind after a hectic day at work, that you also need to run errands and do housework. You can be her good friend without coming running every time she snaps her fingers. And remember, she can't "smother" you any more than you allow.

DEAR ABBY: My niece is getting married in two months, and our invitations just arrived. My daughter, who was divorced last month, was invited with no "and guest" after her name. Who knows? In the next two months she might meet someone she'd like to take to the wedding.

Would it be tacky to respond "two" and see what happens? Or should she take her wounded heart and not go at all? The family knows about her divorce but still addressed her that way. -- KEEPING OPTIONS OPEN

DEAR KEEPING OPTIONS OPEN: While it would have been thoughtful to have invited your daughter and an escort, your relatives may have been more preoccupied with financial considerations than the fact that your daughter wouldn't have a date sitting with her. And yes, it would be tacky to write "two" on the RSVP and "see what happens."

Consider this: For your daughter to bring a date might invite suspicions that she was involved with the person before her divorce. And to ask a man you don't know well and have been seeing only a very short time could be construed as rushing things, and might be a turn-off for the man she had her eye on.

DEAR ABBY: The young lady I have fallen for (and am probably in love with) is half my age. Is it wrong to like someone who is almost young enough to be my daughter? -- YOUNGER THAN SPRINGTIME

DEAR YOUNGER THAN SPRINGTIME: No, it's not wrong -- it happens frequently. A more pertinent question is could she be seriously interested in someone who is almost old enough to be her father? Only she can answer that.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are expecting our first child in a few months, and my mother, who lives out of state, will be flying in to help with the new baby. This will be her first grandchild.

Mom adopted a small indoor dog about a month ago. "Trixie" is pint-sized, but she has a loud, high-pitched bark and she barks often. When Mom told me she plans to bring Trixie with her, I expressed concern that the constant barking will wake the baby and everyone else. I am also concerned about dander in the nursery from Trixie's long hair.

I asked Mom to leave Trixie home with my father, but she said she just adopted her and doesn't want her to feel abandoned. I wouldn't mind her bringing Trixie on future visits, just not while we're adjusting to a new baby.

Am I being selfish to ask my mother to keep the dog at home when she comes to visit? -- GET ME OUT OF THE DOGHOUSE

DEAR DOGHOUSE: By the time your baby arrives, Trixie should have adjusted to both of your parents and should not feel abandoned if one of them leaves for a short while. Your needs and the needs of your household should take precedence over the needs of your mother's dog, and you are not being selfish to insist upon it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married 24 years to a great guy. For the first time I am struggling with feelings of jealousy. My husband has begun a friendship with a female co-worker who is also married. They exchange emails, text messages and phone calls. They get together socially occasionally and have exchanged birthday and holiday gifts.

There's nothing "wrong" with what they're doing, and I feel my husband has the right to be friends with whomever he chooses. He loves me and treats me well. I don't want to feel or act like a crazy, jealous wife. But I have a hard time when I see how he enjoys his fun new friend -- who, by the way, is young and great looking. How can I overcome my jealousy? -- OLD BALL AND CHAIN

DEAR O.B. AND C.: I'm not sure you should. If your husband had a female friend from work he had lunch with occasionally, I wouldn't be concerned. But emails, texts, phone calls and exchanging gifts seems excessive. Tell him his relationship with his "fun new friend" is making you uncomfortable and you need it toned down because you feel it's a threat to your marriage. If he cares about your feelings, he should pay attention to what you're saying.

DEAR ABBY: As a former paramedic and also a food allergy sufferer, I'm acutely aware of the problems caused by this condition. Food allergies vary widely and are not limited to common ones -- nuts, shellfish, gluten or strawberries. We know what we are allergic to, and we do our best to avoid those foods.

Sometimes it's difficult to tell what's in some tasty-looking dishes at potluck gatherings. An ingredient may be used only for seasoning, but sometimes just a trace of it is all it takes to trigger a reaction. That's why I have established a practice that has always been well-received. I print out a card to attach to the dish I brought. On it I name the dish and list the ingredients.

I hope you'll find this suggestion helpful enough to pass along. It could save a life. -- JOE IN JANESVILLE, MINN.

DEAR JOE: You're right; it could -- and that's why I'm printing it. I met a widow whose husband suffered an allergic reaction and died at a dinner party, despite the frantic efforts of several physicians who were also in attendance. Forewarned is forearmed.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: A friend recently purchased a mother's ring from a pawn shop. When "Caron" told me about it, I told her she didn't have the right to wear one because she's not a mother. I discussed it with some other friends and they agreed with me, but Caron says I "overreacted" and that everyone is on HER side.

Caron says it's "just a ring" with different colored stones and she has every right to wear it if she wants to. The women who agree with me say a mother's ring is set with varied birthstones to commemorate the birth of a child born in a certain month, and that's why Caron has no right to wear it.

Caron says I'm crazy and need a therapist. She's ending our 10-year friendship because I will not agree with her. Am I right or wrong? -- RING OF TRUTH IN ARKANSAS

DEAR RING OF TRUTH: A ring with multicolored stones is not a military medal. There are no laws or official rules governing who may or may not wear one. Shame on you for trying to take the pleasure out of her purchase, and that you would drag others into your disagreement with Caron is disappointing and puzzling.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married 11 years and have four children. During those years my husband and I struggled with our relationship. I couldn't understand why he wouldn't do the things I asked of him, and I became very resentful.

Last December we agreed to a divorce and, suddenly, it seemed like everything changed between us! We started getting along and treated each other with respect -- I guess because we had the answer to our problems and we were looking forward to change. I began reflecting on our relationship and put myself in his shoes. I realized that if he treated me the way I had treated him, there would be no way I'd want to do anything for him.

I'm still trying to understand the changes I have gone through, but I feel more love now for my husband than I have for a very long time, and I have started treating him that way.

He is struggling with this change and keeps waiting for me to revert to my old ways. We have put talk of divorce on the back burner and are just taking it day-by-day. I want other couples to know that if you want something to change, to look in the mirror. The only one who can change your circumstances is you. -- SECOND CHANCE IN TACOMA, WASH.

DEAR SECOND CHANCE: That's perceptive, and it applies to more situations than marriage. I wish you and your husband a successful reconciliation.

DEAR ABBY: "Maria" and I lived together for two years. She had wanted eyelid surgery but couldn't afford to pay $5,000. I offered to give her $2,000.

A few months ago, Maria told me she didn't love me anymore. (She now has a new boyfriend.) She called me yesterday evening asking for the money I said I'd give her for the surgery.

Do I owe her this money? She's the one who ended it. I told her to ask her new boyfriend to pay for it, but she claims I need to keep my word. -- SEEING THINGS DIFFERENTLY

DEAR SEEING THINGS: Excuse me? YOU need to keep your word? No, MARIA needs you to keep your word. When she replaced you, your generous offer to pay for her cosmetic surgery ended. So tell her she'll have to arrange for replacement financing or work out a time payment plan with her surgeon.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)