DEAR ABBY: I'm in middle school. I have had a few boyfriends since I started here. I try my best to look OK each day, but I always find a flaw in the way I look or act. Sometimes I find it hard to trust guys when they tell me I'm pretty. I have low self-esteem, so it's hard for me to believe them. Can you please help me learn to trust people and be comfortable with my body? -- AWKWARD IN OGDEN, UTAH

DEAR AWKWARD: If it's any comfort, 99 percent of girls your age feel the same way you do. Your body is still a work in progress because you're not finished developing yet. Believe it or not, no one is as preoccupied with your looks and perceived "flaws" as you are, so please try to be a little kinder to yourself and less critical.

There is truth to the old saying, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." By that I mean -- if people tell you you're attractive, that is the way you appear to them. So just smile and say, "Thank you for saying that." Accept the compliment, but don't rely on it to gauge your self-worth. Concentrate on developing your personality and your mind, and you'll be on a path to success in everything you do.

DEAR ABBY: My son is in the process of being divorced from his wife after only four short years. Before they married, I gave him an engagement ring and wedding band that had been in our family for years. Now that they are divorcing, I'd like to have him get the rings back.

Is this an acceptable request? -- HURTING MOTHER IN NEW YORK

DEAR HURTING MOTHER: Engagement rings and wedding rings are gifts that are given with the promise of marriage. The heirloom rings are now the property of your soon-to-be-ex-daughter-in-law. Depending upon your relationship with her, you could ask for them back or offer to buy them from her. She may be more receptive to the offer if she hears it from you rather than your son. However, they are hers to keep or dispose of as she wishes.

DEAR ABBY: My husband lost his job in November. Since the holidays, none of our friends has asked us to go out again. I don't know if they feel bad about talking about their work or if they think we can't afford it, but I'm really lonely.

We've invited friends a few times, but I get weary of making all the effort. A night out laughing with friends would be nice; so would being remembered. What should we do? -- LONELY HEART CLUB

DEAR LONELY: Your friends may be uncomfortable for the reasons you mentioned, or feel guilty because they are not experiencing the struggle that you are. Of course, the answer is to keep reaching out. But I will add this: The time for people to step forward and be supportive is when someone they care about needs it. That's what true friendship is all about. And with the rate of unemployment in this country what it is today -- "do unto others ..."

DEAR ABBY: What is the protocol when someone is asking to see his mother's will while she is still in good health? -- PONDERING IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR PONDERING: The two most difficult subjects to discuss are death and money, both of which come into play when the topic of wills comes up. A wise and compassionate parent will discuss this with her (or his) children so there won't be any surprises when the eventual happens.

DEAR ABBY: I am a teacher with a dilemma. I have taught for 10 years and connected with thousands of former students. With the Internet and social networking, I am able to keep in touch with many of them. I enjoy knowing what they're doing in their college careers and beyond.

One student I've kept in touch with recently admitted his romantic love for me. "Kyle" is now in his 20s and on his own. As his teacher 10 years ago, I'd never have dreamed of this happening. What's difficult is I think I reciprocate those feelings. I never expected the man I connect with most to be a former student, but Kyle is an adult and I know him as such.

I'm not sure what to do. I'm aware of my professional boundaries as a teacher and would never cross those lines with a student or minor. What do you do when your former student is an adult, you live in a small town and you're drawn to each other? This could be the love I've been waiting for my entire life. Would it be totally inappropriate if I followed my heart? -- WONDERING IN WYOMING

DEAR WONDERING: No. Because Kyle is an adult, and when he was your student there was no flirting (I presume), I see nothing unethical about pursuing the relationship. However, if your romance becomes fodder for gossip -- and it very well might -- you should be prepared to relocate.

DEAR ABBY: I went to the zoo with my daughter's class as a chaperone. While we were there, I saw several children begin climbing the walls of some of the exhibits. They were not part of the group from our school. I promptly asked the children "nicely" not to climb on the exhibits for fear they would hurt themselves or fall in.

A parent who heard me ask her son to get down began yelling and cursing at me in front of my daughter and the other children. I said, "I'm sorry," and walked on.

I don't feel I did anything wrong. I was trying to warn the boy that what he was doing was dangerous. Did I do the wrong thing? Or should I have talked to a member of the zoo staff about what happened? Please advise what you would do if someone's child did what I witnessed. -- VIGILANT PARENT IN OKLAHOMA CITY

DEAR VIGILANT PARENT: Candidly, I probably would have reflexively done exactly what you did -- get the child out of harm's way. However, the prudent way to handle a situation like the one you encountered would have been to alert the zoo staff or security personnel so they could handle it.

DEAR ABBY: In our golfing circle there's a single, 47-year-old professional woman with two children. We thought we knew her. Come to find out, she has been involved for the last five years with a married man who has a child.

We're uncomfortable having her around us now. None of us is perfect, but a woman who would take another's man and wreck a home is one thing most women can't stand. What, if anything, should we do? -- TEE'D OFF IN ALABAMA

DEAR TEE'D OFF: Before deciding what to do, talk privately with the woman, tell her what you have learned and hear what she has to say about it. After that, you'll know what (or what not) to do.

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DEAR ABBY: I'm writing regarding the letter from "Not Fooled in Michigan" (April 22), who expressed concern about her fiance's daughter's reliance on him to proofread her college papers. As a teacher, I know when I assign a paper that the spelling and grammar will likely be checked by a computer or a person other than a student. Whether it's the campus proofreading service or a parent is immaterial. Would "Fooled" have the same "ethical" objections if "Kimberly" were using the campus office to provide the same service?

What matters is the content of her essays, which the girl is apparently writing by herself -- and incidentally, completing in enough time to send them to a proofreader and await a response. That suggests a more developed sense of responsibility than is common among my students.

I see no ethical dilemma here, and I find it disingenuous of "Not Fooled" to suggest otherwise. As for Kimberly's "unhealthy" reliance on her dad, the aforementioned campus services are, in my experience, generally staffed with underpaid undergraduates or overworked teaching assistants. If her dad has the knowledge and time to assist her, I see nothing wrong with her asking for his help. That's not over-reliance on a parent. It's choosing the best of one's available options. -- TEXAS TEACHER WHO KNOWS

DEAR TEACHER: Thank you for writing. I received a huge number of responses to that letter -- from teachers, parents and students alike. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: The fiancee needs to determine which class the papers are for before calling foul. If it's a composition class in which the student is graded on spelling and grammar, then no, Dad shouldn't fix them, but he can advise. It's called being a parent, and "Not Fooled" better become accustomed to the idea of sharing his attention.

If it's something like a history class, editing assistance shouldn't be a problem. All good writers have editors to help with mechanics because after looking at a piece for too long, you no longer see the errors. -- CYNDI IN OHIO

DEAR ABBY: As a college student, I frequently read papers by students whose grammar training was less rigorous than mine. The university does not consider that cheating, and we are advised by our professors to do so. It is not their job to teach us grammar. They are trying to teach their material.

"Not Fooled" needs to relax, get a better understanding of today's university system, and learn to trust her future stepdaughter while encouraging parent-child communication. -- HANNAH IN CHICAGO

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 43-year-old college student. I always send my siblings my essays before I turn them in, not just to proofread, but for their opinions of my writing. I would bet this is why the daughter sends her work to her father.

My daughter is still in high school, but I hope she continues to seek my opinion on her essays in the future. It has prompted many valuable and intriguing discussions, some of which have helped us to understand each other better as she transitions to adulthood. There's nothing "unhealthy" about an 18-to-22-year-old college student asking her dad to help with a paper. What's unhealthy is a future stepmom taking issue with it. It appears she has some underlying jealousy. -- MOM GRADUATING WITH HER KID

DEAR ABBY: Perhaps the daughter is simply making her father feel useful by including him in her life with this simple act. His fiancee should become more involved in the parenting process if she intends to stick her nose there. I can think of worse situations than this example of a parent being a parent. I wish there were more dads like him. -- RACHAEL IN SOUTHWEST GEORGIA