DEAR ABBY: Memorial Day is not about war; it's about people. It's about those dedicated individuals -- most of them young -- who died serving their country and their fellow Americans as well as future generations. In other words, all of us.

We Americans are at our best when we come together bonded by a noble purpose. And that's the reason for the National Moment of Remembrance on Memorial Day.

Abby, your patriotism and compassion have helped us in our effort to unite the more than 311 million Americans who live in this land of the free and home of the brave. Please remind your millions of readers to come together by pausing for a moment at 3 p.m. local time, wherever they are, to acknowledge the sacrifice of our fallen.

Unfortunately, too many of our citizens forget to remember. I am determined to find ways to help America continue to pay tribute to the nearly 2 million men and women who have died for us. Our freedoms should remind us of their sacrifice and our debt to them.

It is our duty to never forget them, to keep them in our hearts and in our actions. They were the best of the best -- the pride of the USA. We owe them the commitment to reflect on what they did and to put remembrance into action. This means to give back to our country and to live honoring them every day, not just on Memorial Day.

Thank you for all you do to honor America's heroes. -- CARMELLA LASPADA, FOUNDER, NO GREATER LOVE

DEAR CARMELLA: You're welcome. I hope readers will heed your request to offer a silent tribute this afternoon to the men and women who have given their lives in the service of this country. Considering the magnitude of their sacrifice, it's the least we can do.

To all of my friends out there -- please join me, as well as the iron workers, sheet metal workers, firefighters and painters unions and thousands of AFL-CIO members who have supported the Moment since its inception, in a moment of silence at 3 p.m. Today, as in the past, major league baseball games will stop, customers and staff will pause in more than 30,000 grocery stores throughout the country, and, of course, personnel serving in the military around the world will observe it, too. To learn what others are doing today, visit www.ngl.org.

May our fallen rest in peace; may our country once again live in peace as well.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter visited us for a week with her two children. The older one, "Wendy," age 9, was always "finding" money -- in the parking lot, the driveway and other places. After they left, we discovered cash missing from our car and the savings jar in our house.

I called my daughter to inform her of our discovery, and in a nonchalant, what's-the-big-deal voice she said, "OK, Dad, how much did she take? I'll write a check."

I told her the money isn't the problem. The fact that Wendy is stealing is the problem. My daughter thinks I'm attacking my granddaughter and is no longer speaking to me. What should I do? -- TAKEN BY SURPRISE IN OHIO

DEAR TAKEN BY SURPRISE: Clearly your phone call wasn't the first time your daughter has heard that Wendy has stolen. Whether the problem is lack of character, lack of parenting or an emotional issue, the child needs professional help. But unless her mother is willing to do more about it than write a check, there is nothing you or I can do to help your granddaughter. (If no corrective action is taken, I predict Mom will be writing bigger and bigger checks.)

You did the responsible thing by informing your daughter. As to what to do next, if they visit again, put any valuables under lock and key.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is gentle, romantic, strong, kind and considerate. He's the "perfect 10." The problem is, I think he has an "afternoon delight."

He's home every night and tells me every day that he loves me. We have been married many years. We're young at heart, but not so young in years. I'm not asking for advice, because leaving him is not an option. The signs have been there, and I have proof. Our home life is good.

I just want to understand why this has been going on. Do some men need more than just marriage? -- FOR BETTER OR WORSE, TRENTON, N.J.

DEAR BETTER OR WORSE: There is a name for men who need more than just marriage. They are called bachelors. Married men who stray are known as cheaters and adulterers. If your husband has someone on the side, then the surest way to find out why it's happening is to inform him the jig is up, explain that you have proof, and demand an explanation.

DEAR ABBY: It has been a long time since I've told a man I'm interested in him or that I really like him. What advice could you give me to keep me from feeling like an idiot and saying the wrong thing? He's a special guy and I don't want to screw this up. -- NERVOUS IN READING, PA.

DEAR NERVOUS: Do it gradually. Start out by describing the qualities he has that you find special -- his sense of humor, his intellect, his style of dress, his wonderful manners, how kindly he treats others. Another time, tell him how much you enjoy his company, and how comfortable you feel with him because of the things you have in common. Tell him he looks wonderful if he makes the extra effort.

Paying compliments will get your message across. Unless he walks around with his head in a bucket, he'll understand what you're trying to convey. Trust me.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently found out that I am pregnant. We are, of course, very excited. We have decided to wait until I have completed my first trimester before telling family and friends.

We are friends with a couple who is having a difficult time getting pregnant, and we want to be sensitive to their feelings. We attend the same church and we plan on announcing our pregnancy in church. Do you think we should inform the couple privately? If so, what should we say? -- FRIENDS IN TEXAS

DEAR FRIENDS: The thoughtful thing to do would be to approach the couple shortly before you make the public announcement and tell them that you will be announcing the pregnancy in church -- but because you are so close, you thought they should know first.

DEAR ABBY: Three months ago, my boyfriend, "Doug," gave me a promise ring. I was proud and happy to show it to everyone. But Doug's parents, siblings and his three children don't know he has given me the ring.

It feels odd that he's keeping this milestone of our relationship a secret. He says it's because he's a private person and doesn't tell his family about his personal life. What do you think about this? -- SECRETLY PROMISED IN PORTLAND, MAINE

DEAR SECRETLY PROMISED: I think Doug may not yet be ready to settle down. Or, he may have strained relationships with his parents, siblings and three children.

Before this romance goes any further, you need to be very clear on exactly what Doug is "promising" because this scenario doesn't ring true from where I'm sitting.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 14-year-old girl in my first year of high school. I'm not sure what to do about boys or how to make friends. All I ever learned at home was what not to do.

I'm not allowed to date until I'm 16, but I really like this boy in my math class. What should I do? I'm so confused. My parents have protected me against things for so long, and I've had to learn from my friends' and my mistakes. I wonder sometimes if I have to be obedient to my parents or if I should make my own choices. Help! -- DATELESS AND CLUELESS IN NEVADA

DEAR DATELESS: At 14 it's normal to have a crush on a classmate. It's also normal for your parents to want to protect you. You say you have had to learn from your friends' and your own mistakes. That's normal, too. It's how we all learn about life.

Until you're old enough to date, become active in events at school. It's a healthy way to make friends and learn social skills. And continue being obedient to your parents. That's how teens build enough trust so that their parents gain the confidence to give them more freedom.

DEAR ABBY: "Carl" and I have been married 23 happy years. He's a great guy, an awesome dad to our teenage girls and an excellent provider. There's only one problem. Lately he's boring.

Carl doesn't have a physically demanding job, so he can't blame it on being tired. I always make the plans for entertainment because if I didn't, we'd never go anywhere or do anything. When we go out, I feel like he's just along for the ride and would rather be home in front of the TV.

I can see he tries to enjoy himself when we're with friends, but when I ask him afterward, he says, "It was OK," or, "They're not my favorite people." When I ask if he'd like to plan the next outing, he says he's happy just staying home.

I work, go to school and have a busy life, but I need more in it and I'd like to include my husband. My friends are all couples so, naturally, I'd like to have Carl at my side. Whatever I suggest for fun, he's never enthusiastic about any of it. If I have to stay home one more Friday night and watch a movie on pay-per-view, I'll scream! Please help. -- TIRED OF FRIDAY NIGHT BLUES

DEAR TIRED: You say "lately" your husband is boring. What was he like before that? A man who is listless, lethargic and disengaged should see his doctor to make sure there is nothing physically wrong and if he could be suffering from a mild depression. Suggest he have a physical and, if possible, go with him so you can voice your concerns.

If nothing is wrong with Carl, you two need to find some activity you can do together that you both will enjoy -- something that doesn't involve either television or people your husband doesn't particularly relate to.

DEAR ABBY: My son's fiancee doesn't care what I wear to their wedding, or what color it is. She says she "knows" I'll wear something great.

The wedding will be in September in the afternoon. It should be warm then. They have chosen bright green and bright baby blue as their colors. I don't want to wear either one.

Would an ivory or champagne dress be appropriate? I was raised "old school" and need to know. -- MOTHER OF THE GROOM

DEAR MOTHER OF THE GROOM: Wearing ivory might not be advisable because it is so close to white. However, a dress in a champagne color or pale blue or pale green would be acceptable.