DEAR ABBY: From time to time, my husband and I are asked by some friends to dine out with them. However, the wife does some things that make us very uncomfortable. She prides herself on being friendly and outgoing. When we're in a restaurant, she'll go from table to table and engage in conversations with people she doesn't know. She'll ask where they're from, what they've ordered, etc. Once, she eavesdropped while the people at the next table discussed what they were ordering and gave them her opinion on what they should "really" order. It progressed to her joining them for a short time at their table for further conversation.

While I appreciate that she's trying to impress us, it embarrasses my husband and me. How do we handle the situation without telling her, making her feel bad and putting a strain on our friendship? We don't enjoy dining out with them like we used to. Are we overreacting, or is this bad manners? -- MORTIFIED IN SALT LAKE CITY

DEAR MORTIFIED: If you and your husband are dinner guests, the lady should be devoting her attention to you and not the other diners in the restaurant. To leave you and go table-hopping is rude. However, to call her on it would be equally rude. So, because you don't enjoy dining out with them the way you used to, do it less often and it will be less upsetting.

DEAR ABBY: How can we convince our married daughter with children to seek a separation or divorce from her husband, who is physically, mentally and economically abusive to her and the kids? We believe she's suffering from low self-esteem, depression and other issues she can't resolve with him.

She has had to borrow what little money we can spare to buy food, school clothing and other basics. Her husband believes she should be working, taking care of an infant and an older child, paying for day care, half the bills and mortgage. Abby, this man has an income in the lower six figures!

We suggested therapy, but it was ignored. He blames everything on her. There is so much more to this story, but it would take up 10 of your columns. Please help. -- DESPERATE DAD IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR DESPERATE: A lawyer could point out to your daughter that she lives in a community property state, and half of what her husband has accumulated during the marriage is hers. A social worker could warn her that abuse doesn't remain static, that it can escalate to violence if it hasn't already. Statistics could illustrate that men who abuse their wives often go on to abuse their children. There is much that could be done, but not until or unless your daughter is willing to admit to herself that she is the victim of spousal abuse and take action.

DEAR ABBY: I recently learned that my husband of 35 years is gay. I never suspected and I am stunned. I have loved him since we met. I still do. I have never been interested in anyone else. We have three children and eight grandchildren who all adore him.

I learned his secret from an email he left on the computer screen. It took a few days, but I confronted him and he told me everything. He has been with men since before our marriage. He assured me he has never done anything that could have caused me to get a disease. I went for an examination and I'm fine.

I'm lost about what my next step should be. I'm in my late 50s. Starting over isn't something I ever considered. I'm seeing a therapist who suggested it might be simpler to consider myself a widow. I have no interest in having sex with my husband again, but being apart from him terrifies me. I feel like I'm in prison. Have you any suggestions? -- HELPLESS IN MIAMI

DEAR HELPLESS: You are not "in prison" and you're not "helpless." You're probably in shock, knowing your husband deceived you from the time you met him. That's understandable. My advice is to do nothing until you regain some sense of balance.

Finding that email was no accident. Consciously or unconsciously, your husband wanted you to see it. That you no longer want to have sex with him isn't surprising. Some things to consider: Does he still want to have sex with you? How do you feel about having sex with anyone? Is your husband involved with more than one person or just one? And does he want to stay married?

Some women (and men) remain married to their bisexual spouse. Others marry people they know are gay. I do not agree with your therapist that you should "consider yourself a widow," unless you want to be married to the living dead.

Before making any decision about your future, you should contact the Straight Spouse Network. It's a confidential support network of current or former heterosexual spouses or partners of gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender mates. It helps straight spouses or partners cope constructively with the coming-out crisis and assists mixed-orientation couples and their children to build bridges of understanding. The phone number is (201) 825-7763 and the website is www.StraightSpouse.org. I wish you luck on your journey.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 19-year-old woman. When I was 4, my mom went to prison for eight years. It turned her life around. At 38, she now has a college degree, a loving husband, a good job and a new home.

My two younger sisters say they don't want to be part of Mom's life, but they never fail to call her at holiday and birthday time to pick up the gifts they know she has bought them. Afterward, they don't contact her or answer her calls and texts until the next holiday. It leaves Mom depressed and feeling used. I have tried telling them they're wrong, but they don't listen. They say I'm wrong for getting in their business. Is it wrong to want my mother to be happy? -- DAUGHTER ON THE OUTSIDE

DEAR DAUGHTER: I don't blame your mother for feeling depressed and used. Your two younger sisters are manipulative, selfish and self-centered. However, your mother is enabling them to behave that way. Talk to her and suggest family counseling. She may be giving and giving out of guilt, they may be taking and taking in order to punish her, and that's not healthy for any of them.

DEAR ABBY: Our daughter, "Julie," came home for the weekend so we could meet her new boyfriend, "Scott." He's a delightful young man, and my daughter is clearly smitten.

When I suggested Scott sleep in the guest room, Julie and my wife gave me this perplexed look as though I'm from a different planet. In the end, I was deeply disappointed that they shared a bedroom. After 30 years of marriage, this created the first disagreement between my wife and me in a long time.

I'm no prude. My wife and I had our share of premarital mambo, but we always slept in separate rooms while visiting our families before we were married. It was about respect for our parents' feelings.

Julie spends a lot of time with Scott's family where they share a room. My wife is afraid if we don't provide common accommodations in our home, our daughter will be less inclined to visit.

I welcome your thoughts, Abby. Is expecting some sense of propriety being a curmudgeonly father? -- STUMPED AND TRUMPED IN OHIO

DEAR STUMPED AND TRUMPED: You didn't mention how long Julie and Scott have been involved, or whether they're living together -- which might have had some bearing on this. However, I keep coming back to the fact that under your roof, guests should abide by your rules. If you prefer that unmarried couples sleep apart in your home, then your feelings should have been respected. And for your wife to wimp out for the reason you stated is just sad.

DEAR ABBY: I work for a company that processes orders from a store at a local mall. I handle these orders and have run into an embarrassing problem. Our customers come from every imaginable ethnic background. When I take a look at some of the names on the work orders, I can't even begin to pronounce them.

It's my job to call these customers back to verify details and schedule installations, so what should I do? Is it more polite to try to sound out the name and wait to be corrected, or to apologize right off the bat and ask the proper pronunciation? -- TONGUE-TIED IN ST. PAUL, MINN.

DEAR TONGUE-TIED: To lead off the conversation by stating that you don't know how to pronounce someone's name could be extremely off-putting. It would be better to sound it out, syllable by syllable, and try to pronounce it -- adding, "If I have mispronounced your name, please correct me." (It probably won't be the first time the person has heard it.)

DEAR ABBY: I have several old Bibles that are literally falling apart. What's the proper way of disposing of Bibles? It seems wrong to just throw them in the trash or burn them. -- ROBERT IN COLUMBUS, OHIO

DEAR ROBERT: The answer to your question depends upon the religion to which you belong. According to my experts, Protestants can dispose of an old Bible by giving it to someone or by throwing it away if they're comfortable doing that -- the paper and ink are not "holy." Old Bibles can also be given to a Bible bookstore or Bible book society for refurbishing or disposal.

Catholics can either burn or bury old Bibles.

Jewish people should call a temple or Jewish cemetery and ask if it has a "genizah" -- a special place to bury books with the name of God in them. (When the genizah is filled, it will be closed and buried.)

Persons of other religions should consult their religious authority governing the accepted manner of disposing of holy books.