DEAR ABBY: My wife and I shop in an upscale shoe store. On the past two visits there, a middle-aged salesman kissed my wife's hand when we left. I was surprised but not offended, considering it to be nothing more than an old-fashioned expression of courtesy. The man is knowledgeable, helpful and honest. My wife, however, disagrees. She says his gesture is forward and inappropriate and that I should resent it. Who's right? -- T.R. IN HOUSTON

DEAR T.R.: You are. The kiss-on-the-hand routine may be part of the man's sales technique. If he has done it before and your wife had no objection, then it's not surprising he did it a second time. What would she like you to do -- challenge him to a duel? If she felt the gesture was inappropriate, then she shouldn't have offered her hand to him a second time.

DEAR ABBY: I hope you will share the following tips for dealing with orphaned or injured wildlife. Once people understand how to handle an encounter with an injured animal they will make safe decisions and possibly have a positive impact on nature:

1. The animal may not be orphaned! Deer leave their babies hidden in clumps of bushes or tall grass while they search for food. A baby bird that has fallen from the nest can be gently picked up and returned.

2. If you find an orphaned or injured animal, be very cautious. Frightened animals and animals in pain will bite. Opossums, raccoons and other mammals can carry rabies.

3. Do not bring the animal inside to nurse it back to health and keep as a pet. It will probably need the care of a veterinarian, and it's illegal in most states to keep a native species without a license. Contact a wildlife rehabilitation center. Your local park service can point you to the nearest rehab center.

4. After any contact with an injured/orphaned animal, wash your hands and change your clothing as soon as possible. You don't know what germs the animal may be carrying.

5. Teach children about local wildlife. If they find an animal that is sick or injured, make sure they know they should tell an adult right away.

6. You can make a difference. Severely injured animals may not be able to return to the wild, but many rehab centers keep them as display animals and use them to teach the public more about them. Unless you are a veterinarian, you cannot accurately determine if an animal will survive or not. Animals that really have no chance will be humanely euthanized instead of left to suffer, which in a case like that, is the kindest thing that can be done. -- CARLY IN RICHMOND HEIGHTS, OHIO

DEAR CARLY: I hope my animal-loving readers will give your letter the consideration it deserves, because it highlights the fact that sometimes people -- with the best of intentions -- can cause more harm than good. If you encounter an injured animal, the wisest thing to do is contact animal control or a local shelter.

DEAR ABBY: My friend says if it weren't for sex, you wouldn't have enough material to write your column. I disagree, and have told him that you could still do your columns. What say you? -- TOM AND JERRY IN CINCINNATI

DEAR TOM AND JERRY: I say I could -- but it wouldn't be as much fun.

DEAR ABBY: I recently had a conversation with my married sister that left me speechless. While making plans to visit me for a few days, she asked if I could "hook her up" with any guys. I was shocked. Not only was it awkward, it left me feeling disgusted.

If a person is unhappy in his or her marriage, shouldn't the marriage be ended before looking for someone else? (By the way, my brother-in-law thinks they have a great marriage.)

A few days later, my sister informed me that her "boyfriend" had broken things off with her. I am dumbfounded! My sister will be coming to spend some time with me soon, and I'm sure this subject is bound to come up again. How do I handle a situation I find so offensive? -- DUMBSTRUCK DOWN SOUTH

DEAR DUMBSTRUCK: Handle it by telling your sister exactly what you have written to me. That should get the message across succinctly.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old girl with five younger siblings. It's tough to get along with everyone, but my 8-year-old sister, "Annie," is especially difficult. She doesn't get along with anyone.

Annie steals constantly. This has been going on since she could walk. She steals jewelry, makeup, toys, books and money. The only way to get these things back is by searching her room. Our relatives say she'll grow out of this, but it happens every day. She destroys and breaks the things she steals -- including projects and homework.

My parents have tried everything -- taking her things, grounding her, taking away privileges -- yet Annie doesn't stop. She lies and becomes frantic, and I'm worried something is wrong. None of us have ever behaved like her. What should we do? -- WORRIED SISTER IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR WORRIED SISTER: The behavior you have described could be symptoms of a serious emotional disturbance. It won't be corrected until your parents understand what's driving your sister to steal and lie. If Annie hasn't already been evaluated by her pediatrician and a mental health professional, it should be done as soon as possible. Please show this to your parents.

DEAR ABBY: I recently agreed to support my neighbor as she participated in a charity walk for breast cancer. Through a mutual friend I found out that my neighbor rode a free bus for a portion of the 13.1-mile walk. She has since tried to collect the "donation." I have politely declined to pay, due to the circumstances. I feel I am justified since the donation was predicated on her completion of the walk. What do you think? -- STICKLER IN COLORADO

DEAR STICKLER: Is it possible that your neighbor rode the bus a portion of the way because she was unable to make it through the 13.1-mile walk? For heaven's sake, it's not as if she would be pocketing the money. Give her the donation in the form of a check made out to the charity. It's for a worthy cause -- and tax-deductible.

DEAR ABBY: I recently agreed to support my neighbor as she participated in a charity walk for breast cancer. Through a mutual friend I found out that my neighbor rode a free bus for a portion of the 13.1-mile walk. She has since tried to collect the "donation." I have politely declined to pay, due to the circumstances. I feel I am justified since the donation was predicated on her completion of the walk. What do you think? -- STICKLER IN COLORADO

DEAR STICKLER: Is it possible that your neighbor rode the bus a portion of the way because she was unable to make it through the 13.1-mile walk? For heaven's sake, it's not as if she would be pocketing the money. Give her the donation in the form of a check made out to the charity. It's for a worthy cause -- and tax-deductible.

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing in response to "Feeling Guilty in North Carolina" (March 18), who feels guilty using address labels, calendars and notepads from organizations soliciting donations. Last year, for about six months, I collected all the requests for donations I received. Abby, the total was 532 requests from 119 organizations! Yes, I'm overwhelmed, and I no longer feel guilty about tossing them. I sent all of them letters requesting they delete my name from their lists. One hundred eighteen ignored my request. One asked how often I want information from them.

I give the notepads and other enclosures to Goodwill and shred the labels. Ironically, I receive more labels now than ever before, even though I pay most bills online and email rather than write. I donate less than I ever have in the past because I feel so hounded, so in my case, it has worked against them. -- KAREN H. IN FORT COLLINS, COLO.

DEAR KAREN: Thanks for the input. Letters from readers complaining about charitable donation requests with labels arrive in my office on a daily basis, so you can imagine the mail I have received in response to the one I printed from "Feeling Guilty." Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I, too, receive many "gifts" from organizations soliciting for donations. My view is, if they're using my donation to send gifts, then they really don't need my money. They should be using donations to help whomever or whatever it is they're soliciting for. I don't feel guilty in the least for using the labels, gifts, etc. I give to organizations that do not send out freebies; that's how I direct my charitable donations. -- SABRINA W., SOUTHGATE, MICH.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a professional fundraiser and I, too, receive the pads and address labels. I do not give to every organization that sends them, but I do use what they send. No one should feel guilty for doing so. Nonprofits buy and rent lists from companies, and they don't expect everyone to respond. Nonprofits aren't trying to make anyone feel guilty or trick them; they just want to do the work of the causes you love to support. -- SUZANNE L., STATEN ISLAND, N.Y.

DEAR ABBY: Many solicitation letters have a small box at the bottom asking you to indicate if you would like to be taken off their mailing list. It's worth the 44 cents to return it.

Some areas recycle junk mail. After removing the address labels, the rest can be put in the recycling bin with newspapers. Note pads, greeting cards and calendar gifts could be donated to a military personnel drive, thrift store, nursing home or community center. -- MARY F., STUART, FLA.

DEAR ABBY: We contacted the post office and were instructed not to open the envelope, to write "Refused -- Return to Sender" on the front and put it back in the mailbox. The post office can then decide what to do with it. -- SANDRA M., MUKWONAGO, WIS.

DEAR ABBY: There's nothing "free" when organizations try to guilt us into sending money. My solution for all this junk is, use the labels and anything personalized if I like them; if not, destroy them. Anything else I give to a nursing home, local children's museum to use for crafts or to the Goodwill. When coins are attached, I put them in a jar and give them to my church. -- CLAIRE P., PORTLAND, MAINE